What a pussy. Git gud scrub

Mitch stated "I-M-I-N-H-E-L-L-W-I-T-H-R-O-N-A-L-D-R-E-A-G-A-N"

Out of all the public reactions you could have to people clearly expecting a mea culpa, churlishly refusing to apologize is probably the absolute worst. You'd be better off trying to gaslight people that you never said anything

As always the only actual documented cases of voter fraud are on the right. Every god damned time

[Gingerly touching the timeline] a soccer has happened somewhere

Alright, enough about Platner. Let's get back to what's really important: speculating hopefully about exactly how dead Mitch McConnell is

I'm in the pit of no return hanging out with all the other hogs just waiting to crucify someone. It's a living

🙏

Well, sure, that sounds great, but there's no way it could also run like shit and take 30 seconds to open a one-page document and cost $75 a month, right?

Unfortunately a Democratic Tea Party moment does carry the inherent risk that a Political Outsider who Challenges The Status Quo will also wind up being a sex creep. Goes with the territory

I'm glad that all the podcasters and commentators are being so goddamn Normal about further Platner revelations

Travis Kelce “Not Entirely Sure” Why He Spent So Much Time Onstage At Taylor’s Latest MSG Show

WHERE IS MY DOG?? Dog™ is no longer supported. Old dogs have been discontinued due to issues with smell and shedding. We have upgraded you at no charge to Dog+™ which is free for the first month. Made of shiny plastic, Dog+™ has improved Speak™ and can now suggest products and summarize walks

Talking to time-traveling me from 2024: “yeah in Trump’s America there’s a senate candidate in Maine who is a ‘small businessman’ who was a mercenary with a Nazi ratio and has been accused of sexual misconduct” ME FROM 2022: “wow! And who’s the Democrat?”

Reminder: we are war crime-ing Cuba right now because Trump and Rubio want to collapse their government. Not a major part of the media discourse but it should be.

Man got Chotiner’d without even agreeing to an interview. Astounding

In more positive news,

Obviously the allegations against Graham Platner are very serious. But once all the details emerge, we may find that he's done a public service by killing Mitch McConnell

Boy I bet Janet Mills feels real fuckin stupid right about now huh

For sure

It’s been six months since the killings of Renee Good and Alex Pretti. Here is how the federal government has stonewalled investigations, and how Minnesota law enforcement is attempting to push for accountability anyway

Oh cool large parts of our information environment and economic activity are being governed by Tracy Jordan B-plots from older 30 Rock episodes. Cool cool cool.

Weekend at Mitch's

America embroiled in controversy over a player named BaloGUN? Quelle surprise 😏

They're saying the Artifact might invert itself today

Honestly if this was how the internet at large knew my name I would renounce everything and move to one of those isolated communities that bans wi-fi

tfw you’ve just finished pissing on jefferson davis’ grave

Mallory NoMorerow

No real opinion on the World Cup but I would note that between England and Mexico only one of those countries believes that joy is a real emotion

if this is actually the case there isn’t anyone who would appreciate this ghoulish maneuver more than McConnell himself so you can’t say they aren’t honoring the man

Face down Ass up That's the way he try to walk

Really the most fitting celebration of the modern US that I can imagine

lmfao what the fuck is wrong with me

Gaia has visited her disapproval upon the United States. And we must repent

Paul Verhoeven undefeated

first as farce then as farce

Full-on thunderstorms here and some of the local fireworks displays still appear to be setting off. Lol baby what is you doing

Pausa de hidratación

i'm so fucking tired of everyone talking about pepsi grand all the time like we get it. pepsi grand is great it tastes good, the chunks are pleasing, and that gravy is addictive but enough posting about pepsi grand it's like damn everyone and their mama is posting about pepsi grand

"July the Fourth" be with you, Star Wars fans 😉

Getting death threats on the Kellogg’s message board for saying Cap'n Crunch discovered America

I published a book on American democracy almost a year ago now. This is the conclusion.

Interestingly drug discovery is one of those areas where specialty AI models might actually be extremely useful. But probably not just like a tuned LLM version of Claude

hard to believe it that jesus was born today,, 2026 years ago

the president should be a big brain that floats around and attack syou

100 years ago.