You can always count on the dumbest, most money-captured Dems around to suggest that we out-GOP the GOP. Nah man. If we wanted tax cuts above all else we'd already be Republicans

Slightly old news here but is it okay to suggest that every Duggar be wiped out for the safety of women and girls at large yet

lmao this one is incredible. “Head of product at X condemns quote-tweeting” my brother in Jira you’re the shift manager at the quote tweet factory

Web site borke. Posts not go

Thank you to the folks who knew what the fuck I was talking about here. God I love insane geoengineering ideas

So - in the 1900s I know there was a weird and massive geoengineering scheme proposed to build canals and dams all the way down from Alaska and Canada to the Colorado River basin, anybody know what the hell it was called? I can't remember the name and it's sytmied me

Kenny Klips has been on the NSPM-7 thing for a while - the scope and language are certainly worrying, but my sense is that it's more an excuse to keep contracting with Palantir and build up surveillance infrastructure than to throw us all in camps or something

shrimpjeff: They should invent a computer you can rest on your lap violetaura: ?? yeah they had the same thought 30 years ago are you serious ?? wokeyoda: the joke understanders have logged on 🙄 earthsmud: you think it’s funny to play the fool. you’ll do it so much, one day you won’t be playing

Why are those the only two options

If they find out you have Nazis in your family the government gives you a tax credit

Just a pack of power-suckling cowards. Bring a gun or fuck off

Bluesky After Dark

If they don't name the first permanently manned lunar base John Madden Station then I'm going to blow up the moon

She left her agent because he was in the Epstein files, and just like that, there’s a bot-driven smear campaign. You fell for it with Amber Heard and Blake Lively, stop fucking falling for it.

Incredible

Computer! Please kill all engagement bait posts. I do not wish to see them. Begone with them, computer

Welcome news, if tempered a bit by the Kill All Immigrants Party coming in at an uncomfortably close 2nd place, and the Destroy The Government Party a very narrow 3rd

Booker occasionally takes better positions than most but he's cut from the modern Dem archetype that can't take a firm position without consulting with 3 focus groups and a room full of overpaid consultants

[youth pastor voice] easter teaches us that it has to be so over before we're so back

Crapping was invented in 1848 by Dr. James Crapp. Before this, the human body had no known ability to defecate, causing a large number of deaths worldwide

[INT. MIND PALACE] the word TURDS appears in front of me. i swat it away. it is quickly replaced by TURDS in a different font.

Happy Easter folks

Looks like smoking is cool as hell again

"Praise be to Allah" at the end of an unhinged yet impotent threat is such a marvelously weird thing to add. It's so nonsensical, such a product of advanced glossolalia, that it completely detaches the phrase from all meaning and context. I'm gonna be thinking about this all day

Proof

It's so funny to contrast the Easter post of the guy supposedly implementing Sharia communism in NYC with the white supremacist pedophile president writing "praise be to Allah". Irony is so beautiful sometimes

I actually assumed that this was a Photoshop parodying Trump and Mike Tyson but this is apparently an actual post

learned yesterday that the Sea Monster Ate My Ice Cream episode of ducktales was like 9/11 for hungarian children

[Batman voice] I'm the Risen Christ

Judas Iscariot was paid 30 pieces of silver for turning Jesus Christ in to the Roman authorities. But he made nearly 10 times that amount by placing a Polymarket bet accurately predicting the day of Christ’s death.

Based as hell

[Hung over and dragged out of bed at 7am by kids wanting their Easter baskets] I'm just like Jesus fr

Drinking all my beer then making a big scene tomorrow about the Easter Bunny drinking all my fucking beer

This is outsider poetry, to me

I must have beer. Beer is the mind chiller. Beer is the little break that brings total relaxation

This in itself is an argument against the 4000-character limit tweet

10yo has started publicly questioning the existence of both Santa and the Easter Bunny, which both of us know has been a long time coming, but wife had to pull him aside earlier to go "...alright listen just shut the fuck up around your sister, okay"

better go to bed or the easter bunny wont show up to drink your dads whiskey and shit on the living room floor or whatever he does idk i dont go to church

Omaha. Dogshit vibes

Mooooom they're doing early '00s indie album covers at me again

YouTube thumbnail with the apostle Paul doing soyface in front of a big empty cave titled "Christ Lifemoggs Judas???"

The Writer's Barely Disguised Fetish

Sir, a second bird is at the feeder

Got a stack of about 20 books next to my bed, some of which I've been partway through for months. So naturally I grabbed a different book off the shelf to reread for like the 4th time

an inspiration for us all. she got out.

Mfer said reign down

one time I was walking into the bar and saw someone beating the shit out of a guy who was already on the ground and before I could intervene a regular was like, oh, no, he was sticking his fingers into girls’ mouths. see that same kind of thing on here every day

We gotta eat every editorial board in the country alive and screaming