“I asked Grok” “I asked ChatGPT” Yeah, well I asked my mother what will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here's what she said to me.

“in the future ai will provide the world with so much money that no-one will need to work and everyone will have what they need but RIGHT NOW i personally should not have to pay any taxes to pay for food for starving children” - every ai ceo

Now, a message from Julie Lavender Menace: Milk And Cookies Pilates 7p to floor. Rev. Dr. Ravenscrof will take candy from a baby and give it to a hooker. God bless.

“mr speaker, how do you feel about bruce willis having been a ghost the whole time?” “this is the first i’m hearing of this, so i’m not going to comment”

great day for the legal theory of "not guilty if it's funny enough"

finance guys on twitter are like "can't believe zohran hired lina khan. she wants to make it illegal to bundle memecoin futures into junk stocks and sell them to public worker pension plans. the public won't stand for it."

you’re telling me that janine pirro, the prosecutor who failed to put robert durst away, ALSO failed to convict the sandwich guy!?!? man she can’t catch a break can she

“but we ‘ave celebrity deaths on a CHEWsdee”

not every political podcast has the courage to interview people who've been dead for over four hundred years support bravery: download noncensored

"at manchester city all we get is an orange and a cup of tea."

journalists: hey guys, please read my piece in today’s newspaper, “why your family ought to be killed”. also journalists: wow, a lot of people angry at me for supposedly saying their family “ought to be killed”, maybe feels like they didn’t even read the piece

WH Auden's dog must have learned to love bereavements.

uhhhh, lotta people on bsky mocking the headline to my piece "do poor people deserve food?" without realising that this is just a provocative question to hook the readers in, and my answer isn't "no" - it's a little bit more nuanced than that! (it's "sometimes")

it would really help me out personally if all 20,000 of you that follow me downloaded this podcast 10 times each

meanwhile popbitch have described mamdani as a “self-confessed gooner” which is a lot funnier, knowing the confusion it may cause

I've written a new audio adaptation of one of Dickens' other Christmas books, The Cricket On The Hearth, and it's available now to buy as a bundle with The Haunted Man scripted by @jonnymorris.bsky.social. Mine stars Graham Fellows, his stars Paterson Joseph! averageromp.com/the-cricket-...

Women think about sex every seven seconds, just not with you.

me: no, i never assume - it makes an ass out of u and me! prison guard: fine, *adopt* the position

can’t believe there’s a fifa peace prize and it’s not going to zvonimir boban

Hello new followers, and some of the elder ones, if you like my posts you can always help me out by buying me a coffee www.ko-fi.com/bethanyblack it helps me keep the lights on and keeps me posting!

WE ARE LIVE!!! Help us bring this story about music, queer found family, love, and death to life. Head to the Kickstarter to, at minimum, look at the absolutely STUNNING art and our wonderful cast!!! And please consider giving if you're able! www.kickstarter.com/projects/aty...

this is just a lovely half hour of stand up. heard it in the car and it’s properly funny and very sweet www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

My engagement farm has produced very few marriages

it would really help me out personally if all 20,000 of you that follow me downloaded this podcast 10 times each

we’ve made something very silly this week, please give it a listen

i like how the media calls mamdani a 'self-described democratic socialist', because he's a member of the democratic socialists of america but i'm not sure that anyone would frame eg kemi badenoch as a 'self-described conservative unionist'

Arlo is here to get cozy and win hearts

Ants can lift 50 times their own body weight? Big deal! I can lift like 100 ants.

Polish has its moments

not saying i'm feeling optimistic but i've just booked a recording in for the middle of june

From 2019 onwards, you say. How mysterious.

don't care about some local election in new york and actually we spell it "mayour" in the king's english

sorry I've added a "Controversy" section to your wikipedia article while you were asleep

Confession would be so much quicker if the priest didn't keep retching

When I see someone yawning in a passing car I like to imagine they're roaring like a lion.

Anyway, Happy Gay Fox Night to all who celebrate

Podcast Hosts With Bad Chemistry youtu.be/zpYngC_cqtU

Weird how everyone just accepts that if you have something done that involves scaffolding, however short, the firm will store their scaffolding on the front of your house for at least the next 6 months

@francesmeh.reviews, congrats on the win. Now you have a big responsibility. If I can help BSKY, just let me know what I can do.

there is no I in team but there is a squirrel in my bathtub

A fun thing to do whenever there's a high profile American election is to take a look at the British Rightwing Megamouths & see how many of them have forgotten how apparently vitally important it is to constantly wear a poppy throughout all of early November the moment they've stepped off the plane.

in my heart I know that Lin-Manuel Miranda wants to play Zohran Mamdani on SNL so bad it physically hurts him

it must be so frustrating to be jk rowling these days, spending so much time overseeing the hbo harry potter remake and the audible harry potter remake when all she must really want to do is write something new that will be as successful as harry potter which she could definitely do if she tried

Zohran Mamdani polled +40% on men under 30. So we wasted all that time on all those think pieces about how we need a Joe Rogan for the left, when what we actually needed were *policies* for the left.

Eating pills for dinner, pharm to table.

is there a Balls Cheney

They offered Curtis Sliwa $10 million dollars to drop out of the race and he said no!! Genuinely impressive. That’s principle. Gotta respect it. He would’ve turned down the Riyadh Comedy Festival, for SURE.

Oh good, he won, does this mean we can all finally go back to talking about me

turns out that x: the everything app is an echo chamber. tonight’s results wouldn’t have shocked anyone who hung out on intellectually and politically diverse social media apps like bluesky