I was going to bake bread around 8, can I just put the loaves outside, or

Asserting the value of your own humanity, or reminding someone else of theirs, is a revolutionary act of resistance. It's also fun. give it a shot, why don't ya?

trying to craft messages to myself on Teams that will make copilot formally resign from duty while transcribing them

my grandmother accepted my grandfather’s proposal to escape her family's traveling vaudeville act. “It's either the carat or the schtick”, she said.

I write things down so I don’t forget. Too bad I always lose the paper.

Being unemployed still rules... only thing on my to do list today is steal a packet of ranch dressing from wawa

the beautiful thing about my coffee this morning is that the cinnamon on top is not, in fact, smoked paprika

If you’ve never called your congressional reps before, do it right now.

i feel like a lot of people are dissociating and not reacting to the threat of nuclear war with an appropriate level of alarm?

it's really so beside the point by now, but i cannot believe people gave this psychotic motherfucker a second chance.

I love getting a Jersey Mike's sandwich because I can only eat half at a time and I can save the rest for later. *Ten minutes later* Time for the rest of that sandwich.

would you still love me if i was a wormhole

“A whole civilization will die tonight” is the most vile thing a US president has ever said, certainly during the post-1945 era when they’ve had the power to kill civilizations with the dropping of a bomb. I’m staring into the darkness. May this not be one of the most fateful days in human history.

The rest of the world should probably collectively stand up to the U.S. right now, tbh

every night I like to play a game called How Many Sad Things Will Make Me Cry Tonight. I win every time

Artemis II was scheduled near a full moon so they wouldn’t only see part of it

Armageddon is terrible, but our only other option was diversity trainings at work.

Always keep a Go Bag on me in case I suddenly need to go home.

in space nobody can hear ice cream

IRAN_SURRENDER_TERMS_Version_3_Final_Version_(final)_FINAL_ACTUALLY_THIS_TIME.doc

I hope they find the factory reset for humanity back there today.

Think of a number between 1 and 19. It’s 11. If you got something else, you’re wrong.

Every day these fucks just tell us straight up their shit doesn't work despite their marketing saying the opposite and every day I have to listen to COOs and Directors of Finance wax romantical about how they use it every single day to make critical decisions and get legal or financial advice.

I don’t want to be controversial but I do think it’s turned out that the possibility of nuclear war is a bigger threat to the future of humanity than the woke mind virus

Claude is down :/ so I’m just running my sink

big deal Artemis II, I am also in the moon's sphere of influence

I won't beg to differ. I just differ.

Nobody talks about how satisfying it is to unsubscribe from an email you’ve been deleting for four years. This is what victory tastes like.

I asked ChatGPT why I’ve never seen baby camels and it said they’re in the desert and you’re not

happy birthday, every bunny

*werner herzog voice* one day the eggs will hunt you

saying this half-jokingly, but if the rest of the nation had the same levels of news exposure as a lot of us on here, most of them would go insane within a week

America girl what are you doin

Happy Easter! to celebrate,Welly is symbolically killing a Lamb

happy easter! 🐑 🩷

a dramatic prequel called The Velvetween Rabbit

oh ok well if he's not dead then put him on the phone. just for a second. c'mon we just wanna ask him something real quick.

for a fair easter egg hunt i gather the kids for a come to jesus meeting

drunk in the back of the carriage spilling mead everywhere

someone good at budgeting help me figure out which is the best deal

the most official of King Arthur's knights was Sir Tificate

Edgelords are always whining about how you can't make comedies today because of woke. Know what might actually be hard to make today? THE SOUND OF MUSIC. How many of the handful of US studios left would be willing to make a movie about how military officers need to desert to defy Nazi commanders?

if edgar allen poe wrote the show: murder, she quoth

me: you aren't special, I can spiral too the easter ham: *too mature to respond*

i bet an angel who plays too much music is at greater risk of harpal tunnel syndrome

"if you can't make the meeting, don't worry, we will record it" great, I look forward to not watching it later too

Wanting to colonize other planets instead of taking care of this one is Marscissism

dog comedian: and what about working breeds? how many sick days do those guys get haha? do they call up their owner with a cone of shame on and say they aren't feeling well or what? german shepherd: this guy fuckin' sucks, let's go malinois: I'm gonna bite him in the barking lot