ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!? @gregthemiller.bsky.social @los-los.bsky.social @trickykat.bsky.social

a spanish all girl rock band called Rage Against The Machín

i’m pretty sure a TOOL cover of Blue Rondo a la Turk (Dave Brubeck) would fucking slap

Chilling and watching @gregthemiller.bsky.social on Ted Lasso.

Our intrepid detectives have once again solved the mystery of cow afterlife. They attempted to summon a bovine spirit from an old leather boot, only to discover they are soulless.

(after losing to a childproof seal) well fought!

If there were 13 months a year we'd be well into 1870 right now. Anyways, time is totally real. Merry Year Day or whatever.

draw me like one of your French pensions

If - God forbid - I'm ever elected to public office, I'm going to be sworn in on a stack of discworld books. Prominent among them Hogfather, Night Watch, and Feet of Clay.

used to think i was made of atoms but im made of eves

What gives Jamaican food its spicy flavor is the oreggaeno.

lights, ephemera, abstraction

shitposting isn't paying the bills like it used to

*rubs catnip all over my allergic neighbour's laundry on the line*

*covering my posts in melted chocolate like the delectable treats they are*

i leave booby traps for burglars like a sink full of dishes and a dirty cat box

Taught my parrot to say “Help, I’ve been turned into a parrot”. SPCA is knocking. Worth it.

anyway, yoda doesn’t have to talk like that. it’s like that kid in college who decided to do a british accent all the fucking time.

Petition to stop so many goddamn tv show characters from dry-swallowing their pills so damn much. All of you are psychos. Why are you like this

captain's log: day one of the bit and I wonder how much longer I can continue

grogu is the colour of mint chip ice cream coincidence this is not

Catnip? Cats always show nip. Like 8 per cat. It’s a whole category on CatHub.

have you tried turning the Klingon klingoff and klingon again

i lost my job as a waiter after pulling a menu out of somebodys hands too fast and severing their jugular

Sober people should toast with toast.

Professor: Explain how the chemical dihydrogen monoxide is dangerous Me: I didn't study *Barack Obama floods the school* Me: Thanks, H₂Obama

wishing everyone a 2026 that isn't shit and shitposts that aren't too mid because after the last year we all deserve some peace, stability and happiness 🥰❤️ big love to all of you

wishing a very happy 2028 to all my aussie and kiwi friends 🥰

can’t, need to stay home and text everyone happy new year

what’s the over-under on how many usb-c cables you accumulate before the next one comes out

(cannibal) more like 🎶 savory caroline🎵

I'll be in the corner wearing sunglasses

Cause of death: low amount of likes and reposts

One thought a day feels like it should be enough.

regretfully setting my phone to Disturb

My nickname back in driving school was unofficial parking space because I'd get all huffy if someone else's car was in my thoughts even though they're public and undesignated

We should flip a pancake directly into space

big party at my house for introverts tonight bring your own noise cancelling headphones and kindles

my new years resolution is to need less sleep

Happy New Fears

the doc forgot to clip my ear during my vasectomy

One day you’re young and the next thing you know you’re setting your phone font size to “billboard”.

You can’t get all your history from Schoolhouse Rock because nothing rhymes with “massacre”.

father time takes a knee, his face contorted in pain. the feral youngling bursts from his chest cavity in a spray of viscera and confetti.

(little baby 2026 being pushed out while wailing and getting slapped on the bottom) OH HELL NO PUT ME BACK IN

deleting linkedin seems like a solid way to let old acquaintance be forgot

Babe it's nothing you did, I just need to be at the grocery store alone

midbubus is this anything

pulling on a pig’s tail just to squeal something