Ygrene
@ygrene.bsky.social
📤 37497
📥 722
📝 8044
I want to do everything all the time
https://bsky.app/profile/ygrene.bsky.social/feed/aaad75xnfxh32
pinned post!
guy named geoff: what should we name our daughter his wife brittani: how about steoffani geoff: *is just weeping tears of geoy*
about 1 year ago
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Pablo Hidalgo
about 10 hours ago
Jacked action hero with goon in headlock, in raspy yet firm voice:
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Tyler, from the Internet
about 13 hours ago
Twerkers at the barbeque get priority parking 🫡
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hey babe this teriyaki sauce expired in (checks label) 2019 but were you keeping it for a specific purpose
about 1 year ago
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sweetie π
about 15 hours ago
wearing my women in stem t-shirt on international women’s day to celebrate the fact that i was given that and a reusable water bottle instead of equal pay
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well i hope filling up the car today gets me through the next year or two
2 days ago
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dr. uncle boobs phD đź—ż
about 18 hours ago
international women’s day
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RM
about 13 hours ago
Legit thought this morning "they had to get up a hour early to turn the birds on today"
add a skeleton here at some point
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Only faces ever change
2 months ago
Yes
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women: (on international women's day) finally a day for me men: (on the same day) BABE I CAN'T FIND MY HOUR, HAVE YOU SEEN MY HOUR, I CAN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE
about 14 hours ago
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Rob DeVeets
about 16 hours ago
Forget about it
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dan mentos
about 16 hours ago
mom of mia
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Mitchell Friedman
about 14 hours ago
Gob of ghoul
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dan mentos
about 14 hours ago
it’s of me, mario
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bod of boom, bod of bing
about 16 hours ago
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Worst Episode Ever
about 21 hours ago
You make the skeets that remind you of the standard times You make the skeets that remind you of the daylight times
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Caitlin
1 day ago
I have watched this approximately 47 times and laughed out loud 47 times
loading . . .
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Matt Zoller Seitz
1 day ago
THREAD: I got laid off from NYMag/Vulture after 14 years. The family lost 75% of income + medical. Now
mzs.press
bookstore, once a side project. is do-or-die for Judith & I. I feel weird telling you this because others are doing much worse. But if you could like or share this, we'd be so grateful!
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Matt Zoller Seitz
2 days ago
Greetings, new friends! You may know me as an author, a prolific Bluesky poster and 4th place finisher on So You Call That Dancing? But you might not know that my partner Judith (@mzpress) and I have an online arts bookstore that's growing every day. Full inventory here:
mzs.press/EVERYTHING-W...
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Pru
6 days ago
I know this isn't the time for jokes, but also it is precisely the time for jokes
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Aaron Rupar
1 day ago
Trump multiple times just today has said the country is at war. War can only be declared by Congress, and Iran posed no imminent threat. What Trump is doing there is a textbook illegal war and impeachable offense — if we still had a Congress.
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mr potato
almost 2 years ago
[Pictionary timer buzzes] Picasso: it was a cow Me: it certainly the fuck was not
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Chris Person
1 day ago
Pain at the pump 🎶 Feel like a chump 🎶 Just checked the news 🎶 Outbreak of Mumps 🎶
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me: hello i just saw a guy drinking ginger ale 911: (eyes narrowing) was he on a plane me: sir he was not [alarms sound in the distance]
12 months ago
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me: where would you like to eat? wife: i dont care, you pick my sound effects guy: *sad trombone* me: leonard, please, not right now
about 1 year ago
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hey everyone i just invented a new thing and since congress doesn't exist anymore we can just go ahead and do it, i'm calling it Citizen's Impeachment
1 day ago
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cait (and adonis)
3 days ago
dog this is straight up fucking crazy
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Endless Screaming
1 day ago
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH
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mothra stewart
2 days ago
me: I’ll just lie down for 5 minutes my body: ok we will now enter a mysterious state that is worse than sleep but also not rest
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Alex Blechman
2 days ago
Five-Star General: (gravely) Sir, Operation Epic Bacon is not going awesomesauce
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Canis Floofius
2 days ago
I've giving up and going full-Flintstones car, just yabba dabba doing my way down the Trans-Canada
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Chicken of Vermont
2 days ago
I just decided after my fill-up, this morning, that I won't drive anymore. I'm planning to invent teleportation. I'll keep you posted.
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well i hope filling up the car today gets me through the next year or two
2 days ago
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CHINGA LA MIGRA đ“…˘
2 days ago
it's dangerous to go alone, take this:
add a skeleton here at some point
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[dr looking at x-ray] well, unfortunately… (removes glasses)… it looks like your brain was built on top of an ancient indian burial ground
2 days ago
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*uses reusable grocery bag to store all my plastic grocery bags*
3 days ago
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Kashana
3 days ago
Well, gas is expensive, and food is expensive, and we’re doing a war nobody wants, but at least there are no jobs
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frovo
3 days ago
GENIE: what is your wish ME: an ice cream cone from mcdonalds GENIE: sorry the machine is down
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David Roberts
3 days ago
I lack the words to capture it, but ... it's just endlessly remarkable to me that so many people in our society have chosen trans kis -- TRANS KIDS, the smallest, least significant, most vulnerable demographic slice you could possibly pick -- as a repository for all their fears & insecurities.
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Ryan Enos
3 days ago
This is a chilling crime. A shame on our country. The Iranian ship was unarmed. The US knew this. The sailors were murdered by our navy, and the survivors were left to die at sea.
newrepublic.com/post/207429/...
loading . . .
The Most Chilling Detail in the U.S. Attack on an Iranian Naval Ship
The Iranian warship was taking part in an international exercise with many other countries—including the United States.
https://newrepublic.com/post/207429/us-attack-iran-naval-ship
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(turning a big rusty crank) let’s fire up another day here on the bullshit machine
3 days ago
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hey are you guys wang chungin tonight or
3 days ago
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[after a solid minute of the funeral director staring at us, i repeat] …bunk coffins [my wife doing stacked hands motion] like…double decker
3 days ago
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me: hi my name is william markwayne: hi my names are markwayne
3 days ago
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Lee Drutman
4 days ago
Correction. Orwell never said this. He did however, warn that: "political language... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.” (That's Politics and the English Language, one of my favorite essays)
add a skeleton here at some point
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weeder
4 days ago
Storing lots of jokes on my hard drive. Over 100 gigglebytes.
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mr potato
4 days ago
fuck you but not the horse you rode in on
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imagine being fired. ok, well that sucks. now, imagine being fired by the worst president of all time
4 days ago
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[not making eye contact with you] of course i'm not a reply guy [sips an earl grey tea quite gingerly] i'm an rsvp guy
4 days ago
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