with Dr. Demento at his retirement party in Long Beach yesterday

more D&D kicks off at 11:30 AM PST, it's lots and lots of fun

i'm playing D&D live today with these wonderful folks at 11:30PST if you're into that sort of thing

this album is a masterpiece and i am not kidding

When I get there she's got incense, wine and candles, it's such a freaky scene (Rick 7:14)

i am on this show

if you like the Smothers Brothers you'll love the Smisters Sisters

Mr. Mxyzptlk: oh for fuck's sake

i'm doing Scot Nery's BOOBIETRAP tomorrow night in Santa Monica so i guess it works

i'm playing D&D on livestream with my Irish friends in The Emerald Collective this Friday and Saturday if you're into that sort of thing

if today is Saturday then this is tonight

my doctor told me i had fecal amnesia and i totally lost my shit

if you are what you eat then i'm too many Almond Rocas

how about a class action lawsuit suing him for psychological abuse

what should i wear to my fiery death

saw Jay Jurden do a set at the Improv last night, dude is fucking brilliant

"why are we spending money going to outer space when we could use that money to give people health care?" let me stop you right there

i'm stand-upping in Santa Barbara this Saturday if you're into that sort of thing

go go gadget heart attack on the toilet

question for people who think the military won't follow his orders: who ties your shoes

Add food to a movie title: The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Dessert

people who constantly talk about other people's IQs are always the dumbest motherfuckers on Earth

important thread

did one of them bring an emotional support animal

remember when they wanted to change the rule that says the President has to be a natural-born citizen so they could nominate Schwarzenegger

the hardest part of eating a bowl of Lucky Charms at my age is shoving my pancreas back up my asshole with a broomstick

Happy Trans Day of Visibility, i love you

21 seasons of Taskmaster seems like a lot but it's not nearly enough

a flame maple top on your guitar lets the other dentists know that you paid more for a flame maple top

YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN... your doctor gives you a prescription for Vicodin and you hope you don't have to take any

Tiger Woods blew a .000? He usually blows an 11 on a par 4

Throw out your hands Stick out your tush Hands on your hips Give 'em a push You'll be surprised You're doing the French Mistake

Kids these days get their whole personality from the phone. Back in my day we got it from the tv

BREAKING: Daniel Radcliffe emerges from time machine with terrifying warning

why is it okay when i crank Ratt but when my neighbor does it i have him swatted

just found out there's a Butthole Cut of Hamnet where they all have realistic CGI buttholes

Lola is a song about telling everybody Natalie Portman is your girlfriend

Hello Muddery

today it's Fixing a Hole

quick get MAD TV back on the air so i can pitch Jacoby & Meyers & Ted & Alice

Some days you just fucking need this song. Today is one of those days.

In properly honoring St. Patrick's Day, there is only one video truly worthy. www.youtube.com/watch?v=11Ti...

please listen to my appearance on DO YOU NEED A RIDE? wherein i steal a pie cooling on a Burbank windowsill

veni, vidi, vici... nemo invehitur gratis

there's still time for Andy Dick to make In Memoriam

quick get MAD TV back on the air so i can pitch Baywitched

listen all y'all, it's a

set your clocks back again, we fucked up