“ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I have HAD it with these motherfucking proxies on this motherfucking Hudsucker!”

Still very embarrassed for all of you who got into sea shanties for a minute there a couple years back

they are adding a sixth stage to grief called monkey mode

Sorry I missed your call, I was wandering around

This is your reminder to renew your library card

More like Paul Mid Cartney

SESAME STREET EXEC 1: kids love bright colours, so how about a bunch of humanoid puppets in red, green, blue, orange, yellow SESAME STREET EXEC 2: ooh what if the yellow one had a head like a banana? SESAME STREET EXEC 1: I love it, yes. banana head DIVERSITY HIRE GOTH: there should be a vampire

I tell ya, I get no respect. Ya know, my wife, I think she muted me. At least that would explain why she doesn't reply when I @ her and ask her to make me a drink. I been shadowbanned in my own home, Johnny. *Johnny is at his desk losing his shit*

"Notify me when this person posts"? Most of you, I wanna be notified when you *don't* post. Better yet, send me a telegram when you delete your account.

Walking past a huge jasmine plant and getting a big whiff always feels like getting all my life back in a video game.

Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Saturdays

A pro-Iranian hacking group claimed Friday to have hacked Manning Krull's email account and has posted online what appear to be years-old photographs of him, which completely rule, they are insanely cool, just totally fucking badass, I mean like holy shit

A thing about me and a thing about my friend Jacob. We were kayaking, and there was a huge tree in the middle of the bayou, leaning pathetically at a 45-degree angle. I remarked, sincerely, "THAT TREE SUUUUUUCKS!!" Jacob replied, sincerely, "That tree is doing the best it can."

no cool people allowed on bus

Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Fridays

I'm done with Siri, I'm done with Alexa, from now on I'm only talking to

You think a bunch of snakes ever accidentally spelled out the word snake?

Remember going to the bank? You used to have to, like, go to it.

New shirt for all my rear knife attack to the brain enjoyers. Also all shirts are 35% off for the next 35 hours. www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/8954...

A Covfeferacy of Dunces

I take my diet and exercise regimen pretty seriously but every week I give myself a "cheat day" where I cheat at Magic: The Gathering.

I've been wanting to get back down to the weight I was a few years ago. I'm doing something unorthodox: exercising a little less and eating a little more. You might say this is a strange tactic. Well I'm here to tell you: it's not working.

Greetings from spookiness

Update! 27!

Sold 1 book 💰 💵 💴

I had process video for this piece I completely forgot I filmed so here it is !

Mute every big account. Mute every celebrity account. Mute every brand account. Mute every gimmick account. You don't need any of that noise; it's bad for you. This place is infinitely better when it's just normal people expressing themselves.

Hey congrats, I heard you got verified on Bluesky......... as a schmuck

I dislike baseball and other types of turn-based combat.

If you took the 80 billion dollars Meta wasted on their Metaverse bullshit you could give (math.........) over $200 to every person in the US, or 80 billion dollars to me. 💡🤔🧠

Inspiration:

Man, I hated this when I put it away like two years ago. Now I don't think it's too bad, colors would do a lot for it.

The bloodroot is blooming. 🌱

today's Textures

Workin' on something fun! 🤘

As someone who buys cheap clothes and generally wears them until they are no longer clothes, I have the privilege of experiencing about one comedic pants-splitting event per year. Pretty cool. 🆒😎👍

Facebook Jorkitplace

Time for dentist today. Love seeing the CareCredit number go up! Incidentally I have a bunch of stuff to sell like these prints for instance. octophant.us/gel-prints

people, I am tired of repeating myself. re-file skulls when you're done with them. that means back in the skull filing cabinet. not on the cabinet, not near the cabinet, in the cabinet. we have a skull filing cabinet for a reason

Scenes from my morning walk/run in Chalmette. Saw bald eagles in a bald cypress, and these two irises are blooming in my rain garden. I was threatened by a big white goose at the park. I thought they were supposed to be silly!

Backmatter page from HAWKMAN #6 (1965), artist unknown, possibly Murphy Anderson

Annoying how much better I am at pinball when I'm a little high. Flow-state deniers in shambles.

Saturday night, baby!! Cleaning my cello with a Swiffer sheet.

I honestly don't know what based means but I'm not wasting a bead on it.

today's Textures

March Madness? You bet I'm excited about March Madness. www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOJS...

"Popular" With "Friends"

more like schmuck norris send tweet

Happy vernal equinox 🌞🌛