I don't want to "drill down," or "circle back" I want to go to sleep on the floor

RFK Jr clearly poisoned that guy and is now fleeing the scene of the crime

healthcare: $1 billion roads: $1 billion food: $4 the lie generator: $999 trillion military: $1 trillion somebody who is good at the economy help me. my country is dying

We all have those 478 people we can't stand

okay that was fun and all now when do we get mandani’s first scandal

Asked a New Yorker why she wasn’t wearing her hijab if she’s so happy about the new mayor and she stabbed me with her stiletto

Rudy Giuliani today

I think it’s great that every right wing political pundit is talking about how New York City is basically now Saudi Arabia weeks after praising a bunch of comedians for performing in Saudi Arabia

yall think the kool aid man can pour himself into smaller glasses and split his consciousness or are those like his guts and stuff

wokeness today

happy no nut november to all who celibate

New York City is so funny because everywhere else Republicans are all “Don’t become a liberal cat lady” but there the right-wing mayoral candidate is like “if communism comes to the streets of New York I will kill it with my feline army”

tbh sharia law sounds pretty dope i loved hips don’t lie

After an embarrassing defeat, Andrew Cuomo forced to go back to sexually harassing the hostess at Chili’s

Todays gotta be like 9/11 for New York City billionaires

Bluesky rn

As is custom in the New York City mayoral race, the winner will now fire the loser into space with a gigantic cannon

Can’t wait to hear him say this out loud

The Turd Reich is freaking out

dick has fallen

they should invent a bed that children can’t crawl into in the middle of the night

i'm not voting today and there's nothing the scolds can do about it

VP Cheney will be honoured with a 21 gun salute accidentally aimed directly at 21 of his friends

my son is clearly being super productive with his textbooks

I could have sworn Dick Cheney died while he was still in prison in the 1980s

the bluesky team should make the text on this app bigger so it's easier to read while driving

how can i thrive in this work environment when all of my ideas are being shot down because they are “pushing it” or “illegal”

No it’s not

It's nearly impossible to make a living entertaining children in a sewer since Stephen king's "It"

shaq's on threads posting ai videos of himself winning the world series with the dodgers if anyone needs another reason to hate this particular monday

Healthcare but only for my friends

Every time I see an ai generated image or video I log off for a little longer and I have almost become free

love to see my city step up a bit like this

Does anyone know what Cuomo's dad did for a living?

lmao what the fuck is happening

complaining to my wife about my new job is funny because she’s like “i had to navigate patients through a bomb threat at the hospital” and i’m all “yeah my day was crazy too i had to think of 12 synonyms for ‘provides’ for a ping pong blog”

Seems bad

new app logo looks like shit

it’s called pudding because of the way i’m pudding it in my mouth

It’s 4 AM. We’re in the middle of the 32nd inning. The ballpark kiss cam keeps panning to the only two people left in the stadium.

The only real loser in all of this is our employers in the morning

Dodgers announce Clayton Kershaw was removed after just one batter face in order to attend the birth of his grandchild

I’m watching the World Series. I’m taking part o the Stanford prison experiment. I’m at the combination World Series/Stanford prison experiment

fouling a ball off my dick to establish dominance