who called him Jeff Bezos and not Lex Loser

HELL YEAH ITS BASEBALL SEASON

non-spanish speakers who aren’t pieces of shit watching the halftime show

okay I’ve been waiting all game for it and my fantasy baseball league manager was just in one of the super bowl commercials lol

The Venn diagram of people who like Mr. Beast and the people who make the choice of their business‘s CRM touches at a single point and apparently that point is the Salesforce CEO

Super Bowl LVAI

Plot twist: he’s actually talking about the game itself

80% of the companies with super bowl ads should have fired their creative directors 10 months ago

super bowl mvp jason myers

WOKE 2 IS HERE

found out today that my mother (with whom i’ve been no contact for something like 5 years now) isn’t watching the whole ass super bowl because she “doesn’t agree with the halftime show” and i’ve had very few larger moments of vindication

wow can’t believe everyone at the turning point usa halftime show just died

I don’t know any Bad Bunny songs I just hope he’s bringing his hot cousin Lola

observing my 4th grader is wild because how is this the same age i started getting in fist fights

i can’t tell what’s satire anymore

you’re telling me every one of these athlons is bi

”Jorkin Dapeanus Vance” chants break out at Winter Olympics in Milan

BREAKING: As the Super Bowl gets ready to kick off in Las Vegas, someone just protected this video onto a building there! It’s the “P-do Bowl” featuring the men who are in the Epstein files the most. Hint: Donald Trump, Howard Lutnick and Steve Bannon are the all-stars of this game.

if i follow you and you’re a bad person you’re legally obligated to tell me

Thinking about Hitler stache Michael Jordan

Hi kids, do you like silence? Wanna see me take NyQuil gels and watch the back of my eyelids? Wanna copy me and snooze exactly like I did? Placid and tucked in, first hit the light switch? My brain's delta waves, I'm tryna get my bed made, but I can't figure out which size pillow I want to hibernate

got back home from date night and the dog ate an entire loaf of french bread off the counter so that’s cool

just played assassins creed in vr and now i’m in some sort of psychosis

Liberals are SHIDDING their PANTS over President Trump’s latest Truth Social post. No wait, I’m receiving word that was also Trump.

is it just me or does this all feel unsustainable

they should invent a sugar momma that wants to pay for my bachelors degree

The Lion is listening and learning from the concerns that the sheep community have raised.

The world: *burning around me* Me: I should start a baseball blog

Fool me with racism once shame on you. Fool me with racism 468 times shame on… shame on…

sorry i disappeared for a bit its just that everything everywhere is horrible

Posting on your competitors app is the epitome of pick me energy

Opinion | President Trump Probably Didn’t Know The N Word Was Racist By Bari Weiss

imagine your xbox live gamertag popping up in the epstein files because you were getting harassed in a call of duty lobby by a billionaire pedophile

Taking the $40/hour writers job at Twitter and teaching Grok how to write nothing but those super horny novels

❤️

can the horrors also go on strike for a day

why the FUCK are there PODCASTS on my NETFLIX

Look I will release this list of horrible things done by horrible people but you should know that anything about me is a lie. The rest of its true though.

Holy shit

whoever’s got the monkey paw has gotta stop making wishes

the first lemondment is this anything

when life hands you lemons, make an assault on the first amendment

so quick question what the fuck

Hasan Piker will return in Avengers: Doomsday

I assume by harassing her?

I got diarrhea from the Roku City Olive Garden

How is this still the same month that started with me thinking hey maybe this year will be better

A crazy thing that happens when you grow up is you realize how many people you know are evil