GOOD POST RAPTURE WEDNESDAY MORNING AND WELCOME TO ANOTHER INSTALMENT OF FIRST LISTEN WITH PAM WHERE I TAKE A FIRST LISTEN OF A SONG, YOU COME ALONG AND LISTEN TO IT TOO THEN WE HAVE JUST ALL SORTS OF LOVELY WARM EXCHANGES OVER IT AND FALL IN LOVE AND JUNK. youtu.be/i9lP1mragDs?...

perhaps we may become jolly good bedfellows after all—there’s no telling

Science question: I’ve been in Hell for 8 months—why do my hair and nails keep growing?

Know who doesn't want you to believe in The Woke Mind Virus? Pizzly bears.

Her: what are you thinking about? Me: I wish I had tentacles like some kind of ancient forgotten god

Ah Sex United States, Census, 1880

It's 1100. You're a peasant in Harmston, England. Congrats! It's a fine place to live. But at what cost? Eels. That's what. Each spring, the village owes Earl Hugh 75,000 eels in rent. So every fall your life becomes all about the eels.* Welcome to Harmston. Here's your net. 🗃️🧪

End of times is the best of times.

Thank god my mom just did Valium and Virginia Slims when she was pregnant with me

Him: Ugh this Dateline is so depressing why can’t it just be one of those uplifting ones where the husband did it

No no..I’ll be okay I have my disappointment cheese

Terrible day to be an air traffic controller.

Have you tried turning it off and never turning it on again?

Coworkers are loving the recent hollow emptiness of my eyes

actually that feeling you were mistaking for anxiety is actually just "evil"

i wish i could shed my flesh and turn into an orb of light

Why hasn’t anyone fed me yet, you know how I get when you don’t feed me

“The response to these challenges by the librarians we meet in this quietly unsettling documentary is a mix of disbelief, refusal to bend the knee to encroaching authoritarianism, and quiet heroism.” @thelibrariansfilm.bsky.social @la-cac.org thepuristonline.com/2025/09/the-...

My Monday fashion tip is to emphasize the first syllable of “ballet.”

I’ve filled up my punchcard for existential crises… when do I get 20% off my next one?

Do you mean like Blondie “Rapture” rapture?

So with the Rapture coming I bet there will be some good garage sales this week

You have two cats inside of you. No wolves. Just these two very specific cats

[first assembly of god] uh oh am I supposed to have this many parts left over?

Ever looked at dragonfly wings under a microscope, there's a little bumper sticker that says honk if you're wetlands

[naked and stuck like a helium balloon against the Home Depot ceiling during The Rapture]

I wish the rapture would happen but just to people who believe in the rapture

Am attending a wedding next weekend that I can't cry at, so please give me all your best not crying tips right now, or last week, whichever is most convenient.

NO WARRIOR CAN FIGHT ALONE. ASK FOR HELP IF YOU NEED IT.

Aries: You only get one chance at life and what a terrible mess you’re making of it.

Thoughts and prayers and sword wielding bears.

Sometimes after you've been asleep for two days you realize it's been four days, not two.

i scream, you scream, we are all losing our rights

That's that. 42nd Covid vaccine complete. I'd like to thank obesity, hypertension and the bed I'm about to spend three days in.

Don't even talk to me until i've had my event horizon

I'm looking for a mommelier who can suggest a good wine mom.

False mary alarm in the eye dr waiting room.

I want friends, but I'm afraid they will try to talk to me.

Looking forward to apocalypse fashion because I'm a sucker for leather loincloths.

Rev. Dr. Ravenscrof loads his toilet paper roll the other way.

Sexiest Man Alive: tired. predictable. limited inventory. Sexiest Man Dead: edgy. avant garde. many dead men to choose from.

[folds menu gently and hands to server] please may I have the applebee

OMG WE'RE LATE! (throws car keys to cup of coffee)

yes prices are soon going to rise again but as a consolation, ur paycheck will stay the same, so as not to confuse you

Out behind the plastic surgeon's office, scavenging mediocre noses again.

Eating an irresponsible quantity of pasta. In bed.

Finding a fedora for a goose.

the mayor is proposing that i be awarded the key to the city after hearing that i successfully ate an entire tub of hummus on a single triscuit cracker

The human eye can perceive over 700 different kinds of sandwich