Deeny is incredibly talented and you should buy some art from them 🤩

Im proud of this one

trimmed my bush just in case i get raptured tomorrow

you don’t have to wait til Halloween to tell you ghost stories I WANT TO HEAR THEM NOW

⚠ this user will not be raptured

you only gotta worry about the rapture if you never bought all your agreed upon music purchases from Columbia House

🌻

as a potato person,

in them feels🍂🌻

you need to admit your crush before the rapture

Before Jesus shows up, do any Christians leaving tomorrow have a crush on me, y/n

please like my posts it's the only thing keeping me off the streets

When I first started here I allowed anyone to reply to my posts so yes, I’ve made it through some really hard times

a younger version of me saw me packing grapes instead of chocolate for a work snack and punched me in the tit

yeah I’m sex positive, positive I haven’t had sex in a while

what if we kissed in hamburglar jail

Not to be dramatic but if I don’t get a little kiss on the forehead soon I might eat drywall

I can do anything I set my mind to after panicking first.

There have always been trans people. There will always be trans people. The only "trans agenda" is to live authentically. Removing trans rights, banning trans people from sports, taking away care for trans people puts you on the wrong side of history. Trans rights are human rights 🩵💗🤍

i burned a frozen pizza for you, please respond 🫶🏻

Is there a way to turn "Sleep Study Participant" into a full-time job?

Is it "accidentally" or "by accident"? Anyway, I sawed my assistant in half

It's cute you think when your kids move out you're done giving them money.

I know this may come as a big shock but I've never put a second thought into any of my posts.

If naps had a taste, it would probably taste like pizza.

DONALD TRUMP: I hope I go to heaven when I die ALSO DONALD TRUMP: [doing everything in his power to go straight to hell when he dies]

adding fictional characters to art: thread

i can’t stop eating little batteries like little watch batteries

*slaps my forehead "there's a whole circus going on in here, wanna join me"

the Lord is my shepherd, He shaves my entire body to make sweaters

[first glass of wine] mmm nice. let's listen to jazz [second glass of wine] *struggling to remove my sweatshirt* we should fuck on the roof

Cheers to the people who remain softhearted in a cruel world.

For personal reasons, I will be wearing nothing more than a teeshirt and panties from now until Monday morning.

The sheer amount of stupid has overwhelmed me, I got nothing but spite.

No woman here owes you anything, not even a response. Delete your account, put down the booze and talk to a therapist.

Earth was fine until some animals starting calling themselves humans

that riff should have been a raff

woke up with s++ tier pussy again.

i listen to the same songs every day, just in a different order.

playin hide and seek 🤣

🧡🖤

Someone should invent a cupboard that’s just already filled with sweets whenever you open it.

my daughter asked me if i want to run a 5k with her on thanksgiving so if anyone is looking to adopt a 24-year-old i’ve got one available

i'm no fun to be around when i'm like this (awake)

Nothing says I mean business like wearing a hospital gown to the pharmacy.

Gandalf teaching at a convent: NUN SHALL PASS

Coworker: Team work makes the dream work. Me: For the love of god, please end me.

im thankful i can post so i dont have to go door to door anymore

we may all be flailing helplessly but dammit, we're cute as fuck

If the "close" button gets any smaller on ad windows, I'm likely to accidentally buy an island.