if you replace every atom of your butthole with other butthole atoms is it still the same butthole

we’ll be right back with your regularly scheduled horrors after these shitposts

if you replace every atom of your butthole with other butthole atoms is it still the same butthole

we’ll be right back with your regularly scheduled horrors after these shitposts

you amaze and stun me in that order

she was rare, like a man who admitted when he was wrong

Don’t worry. I’m building a pro-gay conversion therapy camp

Just bought a bookmark that doubles as a vibrator. Now every book gets a happy ending!

it’s hard to shitpost when everything is getting shittier

my red flags are more like pink flags with black polka dots

I brought your green legumes back from the dead, peas respawned

you don't look a shade over amber

everybody loves me baby, what’s the matter with you? tell me, what did I do to offend you?

Choosing not to alienate you by sharing my feelings, and instead alienating you with my gift of song.

hollowing out a brick of cheddar to use as a straw for my lemon basil spa water

posting shit like “the Easter bunny is trans” on Facebook and when my dad’s friends try and argue with me I just reply “look it up dumbass”

running for office on the platform of shitposter’s rights or as I like to call it communism

ah yes 12:43am on monday the perfect time to shitpost

please my typos they’re very [sic]

It’s weird how everyone’s politics sucks except for mine.

Doomhauer

I need a cup of tea and a jet pack.

Failing spectacularly at finding an equilibrium between staying well-informed and maintaining good mental health.

Lady, you're so wordy they should call you E. Annie Prolix.

in space no one can hear you complain about how your neck is aging terribly

His full name is Hamburgerburglar.

Juice Demon

“this too shall pass”, i say when i notice you’ve been holding the blunt too long in the rotation

Saw so many great signs at the protest yesterday but my favorite was the ominous gathering of ravens who blocked out the sun and whispered to us that our end was nigh and also an adorable puppy named Teddie who was carrying a squeaky ball

Yeah, I work out, I go to Trader Joe’s when it first opens and hurdle the other cultists to grab whatever special item they have.

Tomorrow you are going to have a wonderful morning, and in a year you will have forgotten about it completely. So you should enjoy it now.

Thinking about maybe doing better. But just thinking.

It has taken me a lifetime to learn how to play with my cards close to my chest.

Went outside to watch the last fuck I had to give fly away. I hope it visits once in a while.

*screams into the void Void: you have a lovely voice

i believe in you you cryptid fuck

when you post hole that’s the real you

maybe computers were alive this whole time and the only sign we had was that buzzing screeching noise you could hear on the phone when the modem connected you to your local bbs

I like to do puzzles and tell people off in my mind while I work on them.

evolution made my hair soft and curly to better ruin your life

putting a diamond ring at the end of this fishing pole (engagement bait)

In a different life we would be perfect together

Budweiser spaghetti

My therapist challenged me to a sword fight

Is an empty can of cheese whiz called cheese was??

your powers of seduction are no match for my obliviousness

5th century BCE super mario: “mama miasma!”

My favourite plant is face.

do you wanna do some hugs tonight? i know a hug dealer