wym people be sleeping?

do i use a jar or a net to catch a buzz?

Every time someone asks me what Dungeon Crawler Carl is about I black out because there’s no normal way to explain any of it

she died doing what she loved: asking people in various states how they pronounce “pecan”

i normally don’t personal post but due to health stuff i am out of work & waiting for disability payments to kick in (in 4-6 weeks) so @smillz.lol is having to cover all of our bills & we are struggling a bit. if anyone can help we would be immensely grateful. venmo: @smillzlol cashapp: $kmillzlol

you have the personality of an unseasoned chicken breast

you have the personality of an unseasoned chicken breast

Lasagna is basically spaghetti flavored cake

I’m sorry for who I become when I’m at a buffet

by the end of the decade, walmart will sell bongs and pipes

I am showered, shaved and selling seashells by the seashore

you can close my eyes but you can’t make me sleep

the worst thing about today being wednesday is that i spent most of the day feeling like it was thursday

When Glorilla said “I love them bad bitches because I’m a bad bitch too” I felt that

i have to go to work and it’s all yalls fault

oh no she didn’t

[world without bees] HAMLET: to or not to

(reading myself to sleep) ok one more chapter but only if you do all the voices

a burger is just a flat meatball

whoever invented scented garbage bags should keep inventing things

I am so local celebrity coded

got my schedule yay i have a lot more hours and booo i have a lot more hours

i hate when someone pisses me off and i forgot to pack my angry eyes

i don’t just hate myself. i hate all hot people

If a ghost tried to haunt me, I would haunt them back

when they riff i raff and make it awkward

i got drunk with my boss last night and then she let me touch her armpit hair

girls are lava monsters

I finally finished a bottle of Bath and Body Works body spray. That shit lasted longer than my last relationship

shutting up forever

when i make a call and it goes to voicemail it’s like ew

plebs. the lot of em

cruel and unusual punishment is being off work on a beautiful day but all your friends are working

i don’t just hate myself. i hate all hot people

self hate in the form of hating hot people

playing the game “how many shots”. the before work edition

i am a combination of two bad bitches in a cute summer dress

when they riff i raff and make it awkward

Why write posts when I can just shout in the middle of Target and get more traction?

it’s 9:52am,18 may, and i demand game changer season 8 be released

i was off today but agreed to work because of that stupid little thing called money

doing hot girl shit* eating mcnuggets in my car parked under a shady tree*

having good hair and cats is kinda my thing

brb. gonna go fall asleep on the toilet

you bring the razzmatazz and i'll bring the rizzmajizz

brb. gonna go fall asleep on the toilet

i think a lot of you have me muted and honestly i get that

is it too early for a drink?

bog hags are hot

shout-out to full bush