Calling handjobs beef jerkies from now on and you can't stop me

Glowing, but in a "radiation poisoning" kind of way

Unstable but in cute way

I’m sorry, I roasted you I was trying to flirt.

No, I don’t want to attend, but I do want to be invited.

Will things ever be fergalicious again.

Throwback Thursday to a few weeks ago when I took this photo

My biggest turn on it a man who fixes problems, not causes them

On a scale of 1-10. I am a 2

god i can’t wait to get home and take my pants off

Me: places tip on table Waitor: "sir, please put your dick away this is a chilis”

idk if i need to shotgun a redbull, do a shot, or get shot in in the face with a shotgun but its something with a shot

Pizza is going to make everything better today.

Can’t. I’m trimming my pubes

Apartment fire was not on my 2026 bingo list….

I don’t crash out I gracefully detonate

It's nail day which means I will choose four designs, send them to the group chat then ultimately decide to choose none of them and instead panic pick something 5 minutes before my appointment

Happy Valentine’s Day or whatever

Megs for president 2026 Bring back dry humping @rayloogoo.bsky.social

The only sport I like is… Tonsil hockey 😉

He holds the key to my heart* *chasity belt

*screams into the void*

Them: what’s new? Me: jack shit

I don’t have my life together but I do have 247 screenshots I’ll never look at again

If I go missing check Michael’s first. I probably just dissociated in the paint aisle

Sundays are crazy because how is it both too early and too late to do anything

Finally got my allergy meds 🥹

Sitting here, trying to figure out why I’m so itchy all over. Well, I found out why. I’ve been out of my allergy meds for two days. Being allergic to 90% of everything is obnoxious.

*takes my glasses off* I’m tired of seeing shit

Trying to save money but my brain keeps going “little treat???”

I just need like $10,000 and a good week

Two whores out on the town @deviwestside.bsky.social 😉

The most annoying thing about video games is unskippable dialogue

Got a bread maker today so I can finally enter my bread making era

When @deviwestside.bsky.social and I hang out we are the equivalent to one adult

My week got even sadder. Now accepting more pictures of pets or your funniest meme

“Damn it. Megs got abducted. What do we do” 😂🤣

I wish I had the confidence of a man explaining something incorrectly

My toxic trait is thinking one productive task means I deserve to retire for the day

I’m sad… send pictures of your pets please

That moment you realize you are, in fact, the trash

Next conversation was about his dental exam and how tight he is

Welcome to the Midwest where 30 degrees weather is hoodie weather

Bipolar is selling myself short. There is at least four of us

This was about me 🤣🤣

Spooning now means we are going to fork later

If I make sense to you we are spiritually aligned

Does anyone else get overwhelmed when you get a ton of notifications? Because I do

Don’t understand how I am 🤣

Me: do that thing I like Them: *leaves*