i move the stars for no one

They're a 10 but their favorite holiday is Thanksgiving.

love triangles are out love tesseracts are in

the shortest path to their heart is through a hole in the universe

Ben 10 and Venom

I would love if the weirdest of you thought highly of me.

Rabbit rabbit rabbit

i want to be heard. i want to be seen. i want to be touched i want to be tasted. dont smell me though i havent showered

Can I get a few of these spa packages sold 🙏 Need some overnight sales, desperate for some help. Please consider sharing and helping this small business mama get some products sold 🙏 Not a single package is packed the same 🚫✨ 🛍️ ko-fi.com/s/a8937c38cf

How do you comfort a grammar fanatic? Their, they're, there.

Cop: have you been drinking? Me: i mean yea, im at the beach Cop: right on, right on

If I repost your repost, it means I like you. Otherwise I just go to the original post

When life spits on you make spit pie

@constablelabeler.bsky.social I’m a witch and a wastrel and I have no remorse for it whatsoever

Unless I specifically and directly state as much, please assume that when I post I am not asking you for advice

I knew a guy who: 1) Found out that Oreos contained lard 2) Thought lard was poop 3) Kept eating them

Nah, I'm not gonna stop painting Beeker.

All three dogs are on my bed with me which is fairly rare so I tried to take pictures for posterity and it turns out we’re all haunted.

my demons make their presence known when i burp in the middle of a word

IT'S WHAT'S ON THE INSIDE THAT COUNTS? I AM FULL OF BOG WATER AND BEES, RANDY.

[being murdered on a rollercoaster] please tell them i screamed because of the murder and not because i was scared of the upside down part

could god create a movie so fast that even he could not contain its furious

sorry boss can't come in today due to what I can only describe as a Totoro situation

BREAKING: Pride Month Extended Indefinitely

cant. hydration break

Your Cherokee words for today. The top word is English followed by how it is written in the Cherokee language followed by how it is spelled in English then how to pronounce it phonetically. goo-yay-kwo-nee

There once was a man from Worcester. He said “we pronounce it like rooster.” “The letters are there; to pronounce them is rare.” “The silent ones act like a booster.”

The fact there is a golden hour means there must be an even better platinum hour and that hour must be so beautiful you expire immediately upon experiencing it. Would.

A picture that captures your essence.

Her name is Dr. Tatiana Erukhimova, PhD (Physics) and she loves to teach. 😃 people.tamu.edu/~etanya/

REPO!!!

I wanna go to bed but my big glass of water and my phone and charger and my favorite blanket and second best pillow are in the living room and I am supremely worn out so I guess I mean I wanna go to couch.

what I think when I see someone blocking me

Watched moana again last night for the 847th time

Found a faded five dollar bill in the pocket of my jeans so yes I'm guilty of money laundering.

It seems you either grow old gracefully or look as if you're having a severe reaction to a bee sting

If I fail to like your comment it’s definitely because I hate your guts and not because I didn’t see it in my notifs.

Could AI do this? *types the middest skeet of all time*

You've just Revived your last Creedence Clearwater

what I think when I see someone blocking me

Welcome to Robin Hood's Bar & Grill. Would you care to look at a merry menu?

oh it is Stupid how hot it is out here

I'm right handed. And left handed. I have two hands.

Strawberry Moon: Two nights in a row baby. Yeah! Strawberry Fields: Lol