*knocks the bowl of halloween candy off the counter and hisses

Gonna show up to the Halloween party naked and say I came au naturel

[Enter Ghost.]

Gonna show up to the Halloween party naked with a potato tied to my stuff and say I'm a Dictator.

if your man doesn't STINK of vetiver and black pepper oil then what was this all for?

the entire world is terrifying but its fall so the leaves are crunchy to walk on at least

never underestimate humanity, for they are fully capable of doing absolutely nothing when it matters most

Y'all are excited because it's Halloween. I'm excited because tomorrow is half price Halloween Candy Day.

a double-edged word

Bartender: can i get you a beer? Me: id be offended if you didn’t

happy one day of the year you can dress like a serial killer and people will give you compliments

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

to those wondering; some of us are still shitposting from the US and it’s not easy to do it with what is happening here your support is appreciated more than you can imagine a blank attempt at humor is all that is left for many of us, but we’re working on it

Garden of Earthly Delights

#boshbigbreath #boschbathingbeauties #boschbabes #boschbros #boschbadguys #boschbeetlebugcrabthing #boschbushes #boschbranches #boschberries #boschboats #boschbeasts #boschbareback #boschbirds #boschbutts

*gets stoned so she can sleep* *lays down* *gets the munchies* *goes to the kitchen and makes a snack* *sobers up while eating* *get stoned so she can sleep* *lays down* *gets the munchies* *goes to the kitchen and makes a snack* *sobers up while eating* *gets stoned so she can sleep* *lays down* ♾️

tell all your problems i say theyre not allowed

Happy Halloween, beasties! Now listen, this may be the last day I’m actually pleasant until February 15, 2026; so be nice to me.

If you ask AI if god exists and the AI’s like “fuck it man, I dunno” that’s an agnostic diagnostic

#boschbabe #boschbits #boschbluepearl

Haywain - Open

Baby are you an organ donor? Because everyone wants a piece of you

The fact that he and the Republicans are gonna take food outa children's mouths should be way more than enough for us to rise up and fucking crush these greedy fascists fucks into the dirt.

the internet peaked just before it became available in your hand

Haywain - Open

decorations treats and costumes are fun sure but do not forget the reason for the season people

*sees midnight strike on 10/31* 🎶it’s the most wonderful time of the yeaaaar🎶

Gonna show up to the Halloween party naked and say I forgot there was a party.

Gonna show up to the Halloween party naked and tell everyone I’m the kid on the Nirvana album cover all grown up

Me: (on a road trip in the family Dragula) STOP SLAMMING IN THE BACK, ROB

#Halloween Ghost 👻 #Art by Tom Shropshire

Flying Witches #Art by Gustav Adolf Spanburg, 1870

Hey hey happy birthday @junoryleejournalism.com Love you!

@junoryleejournalism.com HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNO!!! 🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂 🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂 🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂

My dumpster fire has feral raccoons.

You're right vodka, I can totally win her back with this late night drunkin text

we’re going to need a bigger dumpster for this fire

kinda weird how we all just expected a coyote to know rocket science and then laughed at him when he failed

Head over and get your hands on these discounted CBD isolate infused self care package before the sale is over These packages are loaded with: bath bombs, soaps, bath salts and more. Treat yourself to the ultimate spa day with a MEDICATED boxes ko-fi.com/jumpyjellybe... Not 1️⃣ packaged the same

there is no I in team but there is a squirrel in my bathtub

if you ask me an apparition should be limited to a lifelike size and never larger than life

Standing in a dark wedding gown with the other participants in the latest season of Otherworldly Love at First Fright at the threshold of the thinning veil to see what being from the other side will reach through and choose us as their Halloween brides. When the clock strikes midnight, we will see.

Plethora would be a beautiful name for quite a lot of things actually

I can’t believe forgot to buy tomatoes. (And other totally normal things to think about at 11:33pm est)

If you ever come upon an ancient tome and the only words on the cover you can decipher are variations of "evil" and "beware," open that bad boy up to any page and start reading whatever text you find aloud. What's the worst that can happen?

“It’s a haunted hotel, someone once died here” I have news for you any large hotel that’s been open for any amount of time has had a ton of people die in it, they just don’t put that on the brochure unless that want you to think it’s “haunted”

so like. have we decided whether having a high number of posts:age of account ratio is a badge of honour, or a stain on the psyche, or what