The "Tacos Chotiner" tweet remains undefeated

You're telling me I can redeem these qualities?

Birdwatching at night sounds like a hoot

putting the "tity of life" in "sanctity of life"

Hey a thing I really don’t want to get lost here is that while Tylenol doesn’t cause autism, IT’S FINE TO BE AUTISTIC. Let’s not grant them the premise that autism should be eradicated in our way to correct the science, okay? Okay.

Portrait of a sweet good kitty

not my first rodeo, not my second rodeo. but a secret third rodeo

I hate how autism gets seen as something that needs to be avoided or cured when I really think it just needs to be accepted and understood it makes me sad people care more about trying to stop it then trying to accept and help the people who have it

woman with more posts on bsky dot app than there are words in the iliad

They're gonna disappear Kimmel and blame it on the Rapture

complicating small tasks just to feel something

Trump: don’t take acepitoemponoene RFK Jr: *moth crawls out of mouth* A nude man is in the background, only referred to as “the colonel” Person watching on tv: well if they say so

This is very much a tap on the sign moment right now: STOP USING FAKE "FANCY" FONTS If you have to take your text, chuck it into a "fancy text generator" to change the style, stop it. They are NOT accessible & sounds horrible when read out by screen readers.

My girlfriend kept on asking me to go spelunking with her so eventually I caved.

Cap'n Pinkeye sez: scratch your itchy eye first, *then* wipe your ass.

What if our clothing was alive

I sold a painting holy shit 😭

was gonna plant a bunch of flower bulbs but they were too heavy so I switched to light bulbs

I respect lying too much to do it for money

Do you remember The 21st night of computer?

How does it feel to be a member of my public?

does this joke make my ass look bigger? whoops i meant does it make me look like a bigger ass?

👁️👁️🥞

i'm struggling to develop a ranking system for sadness and i know it will end in tiers

I actually come from long line of dead people

Where does a dragonfly go for a quick bite? McSquitoes

America is the greatest country in the world. At what, you ask? You're under arrest

Frosty the snowman's kids think he just went out for beer

[singing/bellowing drunkenly in hotel lobby] THERE'S A HYATT GOIN' ON THERE'S A HYATT GOIN' ON

me (refusing to give away mineral resources): come now, I'm not made of stone!

There's no crying in Calvinball

me: there's the guy who stole my dog! hot dog seller: oh fuck

16 bugs and whaddaya get another day older and technical debt st peter don’t text me cuz i can’t go i owe my soul to the kanban board

if you meet a werewolf, howl you know?

pronouncing "Jira" to rhyme with "Elvira"

a hypothetical cat

I won a screwdriving competition. It was a real clash of the tightens.

thyme is a fart snorkel

Nightmare on 34th Street

The Last Temptation of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

Ernest Drinks the Black Goo

Here’s a wholesome forest friends video @erinbiba.bsky.social I feel like we need something relaxing to start the week.

new idiom: a person who is not at all sorry is "as sorry as a cat"

I'm sorry but your cat loves me more and we're happy together

My parachute broke up with me, but at least it let me down easy.

started to take a shit but suddenly realized I was in polite company so I took a sh...tuff

half of an autistic person’s life is just going “but that’s not what you said”

"Autism is not a disease. Don't try to cure us. Try to understand us." - Brian R King