Not yet phone

Can’t believe I’m foreals going to live thru an actual economic collapse.

You come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married and you ask me who let the dogs out?

I hear LinkedIn's got the juice now, need to confirm

i just want someone to look at me like i look at bubble wrap

I feel you and what should I dooo

starting to think there might just be some thing rather damning in these epstein files it is just a feeling i am starting to get based on current events and these strenuous efforts to hide them by some individuals

Unless I am able to find this part somewhere/somehow... I will cease to own a functional vehicle So if anybody out there happens to know where one might be able to procure a rare fuel pump control unit (AKA revolution sensor) for an '82 Subaru Brat GL, please let me know #Subaru #CarTrouble #PDX

Two Sundays ago my beloved Bratmobile sputtered & died while I was driving & it hasn't started since. I learned today that in order to get it back on the road, there's a crucial part that needs to be replaced, but my mechanic was unable to find one - it's been discontinued #Subaru #CarTrouble #PDX

One of our volunteers needs help finding a discontinued car part in order to continue to serve our community in their Brat-tastically Badass Distro-Mobile! Are there Subaru nerd mechanic types out there who might be able to help? #MutualAid #PDX #MutualAidPortland

My cat was stalking me so I turned the tables and started stalking him. Now he’s hiding under the dining room table. That’s right, bitch, howya like me now

when you get three posters strikes in a row it’s called a posters turkey

Oh dang. This is an excellent analogy.

Not that I'm soliciting, I bounce between both, but first gen beige.party person here and we are fun. And NOT a cult.

Eyeballed a kid with a clipboard outside the grocery store raising money for his school. "You're a warrior, Woody. Use your warrior ethos. You can stride past this kid without making eye contact. Stay on point." 🧵

But I couldn't stay on point. I felt guilt. "What if his school relies on these donations?" I caved. I'm a worrier. I have the worrier ethos.

Fed workers are not taking this lying down, they are amped

Why stop at company mergers? Billionaires could merge too. Instead of three guys, there could be just a BeZuckerMusk

The line to insult a stranger for posts you don't understand begins here 👇

Uh-oh. Bluesky has sprung a leak

This sub gets scarier by the day. Countless people — who were not necessarily good people from the start — have become radicalized, emboldened, and sometimes violent.

this is like half of r/ups now

how many likes before I know what is love

Many of you will NOT be inheriting my chocolate factory, crossing people off left and right

Good lord X Box just increased their subscription price from 19.99 to 29.99 that is crazy to do right now

My 7y/o got off the bus today and immediately exclaimed, “Mama isn’t it fall?? IT’S STEAMING! We had extra recess and I felt like a hot dog!”

Of course i don't date people my age look old as shit

Aw crap. I was going to go to the movies tonight, but I keep forgetting. I’ve decided to go to the movies “tonight” every night since Tuesday and I’m 0/4

The federal goon department crying about social media posts is so humiliating

Breaking on MSNBC: An FBI agent in the Washington field office has been fired for refusing to arrest and perp walk James Comey. This news was first reported by Reuters.

How your email finds me..

"Touch Grass" is propaganda by Big Lawn. Normalize destroying grass in favor of native ground covers to support return of insect life and biodiversity.

Them: I'm from WI My brain: Wichigan

Weed, Sluts, Bitches, Jesus. Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony......

My neck My back My DDOS attack

Friendly pro-tip: "Foolish mortals" is a gender-neutral form of address

Thank you for being a lunatic during this difficult time.

Missed connection: I was vomiting in the bushes outside of Applebees and you asked me for a cigarette. Sorry I punched you.

Therapist: Make yourself comfortable. Me: If I could do that, I wouldn't be here.

Breaking news: ICE stops family at gunpoint—smash car window on top of newborn baby. "I was screaming that there was a baby. But they didn’t care," cried mother. “I covered my baby with my body—I was so scared he was going to be hurt because glass was landing on him."

Just witnessed Chicagoans following this undercover ICE vehicle (Black pick-up truck) heading south on Ashland honking their horns incessantly and alerting everyone that ICE was coming.

Everything in the world is so terrible, but we have a new dog and she is perfect. Introducing: Grizzle!

I can’t get this out of my head now either

Reopening the government isn’t a Republican priority. Protecting Trump from the release of the Epstein files is.

fwiw from my vantage point there’s a slice of Bluesky that is incandescently mad at Jay, a slightly larger slice of Bluesky that’s vaguely aware there’s drama, and like 85% of the pie that is totally unaware anything is going on

‼️ literally. I know I've written about this before (most recently, when the Court gave our Social Security data to Big Balls) but it bears repeating imo that the theoretical purpose of emergency shadow docket relief is to prevent serious, imminent real world harm ballsandstrikes.org/scotus/big-b...

how it feels to wear a sport coat in modern society

shoot me with the Predator shoulder cannon so i know it’s real

Have not watched this video and don't know what it's about but when it popped up in the algorithm I knew I had to share the title with the world.

this is hardly the most important piece of Diddy news today but it's pretty funny that the court sketch artist drew the Bailiff's badge as a circle A anarchist symbol