Women DMing me asking for lifting advice 🥹

Neurology has entered the chat

Working with the doctor today that called me a bully lmao

LOGGING ON

Having an okay now everyone go around and share their most traumatic patient death story kind of morning I guess

Following Frog and Toad bot so that every day I can see the most relatable Frog and Toad quote

In the distance lies a place, a place unlike any other

True for all things I'd say 😏

Yeah, I am a MILF. Man, I Love Fog.

I tried to whistle over a stray cat in my neighborhood and a woman walked by, who I worried thought I whistled at her. So I said “im whistling at the cat” but when I looked back down at it I realized it was just an old fast food bag

I bet these unseasoned casserole looking fucks can't even point to NYC on a map

10/10 take. No notes.

"How often a man believes he's met an angel or a devil, only to find it is all an illusion."

There will never be a character that Oscar Isaac plays that I wouldn't fuck

I will never wear lifting gloves. If I shake a man's hand, I want him to know right then and there that I can deadlift him

Hi I would like the sushi party platter for one, please

god when is my turn

Death Metal is girly pop

the american urge to *checks chart* bring firearms into the ED

So the reason my boss told me there would be pictures this morning was because it was MY picture being taken. I won an award for removing a weapon from a patient a few months ago. 🙃

👀

I think it is nice that this generation will be so well educated on how to spot signs and symptoms of dementia in their elderly parents just from watching Trump press conferences

Like where is the feeble cloaca

It was the best of times, it was the Malort of times.

Journalists are important because they ask the hard questions

Shuffling my feet through the tampons strewn about the office floor like autumn leaves

Doesn't the new season of Fallout start this month? I need something to actually look forward to

Ruined it with all their pink, shimmery keyboards and lunch totes and tampons everywhere

For some reason the media is not mentioning that the reason GTA6 is being delayed is they fired 40 staff over threats of unionization and now the rest of their staff are revolting

3 of you have reposted this

Okay, let's eat some pasta and regroup

Medical insurance can decide a year later they actually aren't going to cover a portion of your bill and you get sent a letter saying you owe an additional $1500?

Someone got so far back in my media tab they were liking photos of me from April of last year. That's a block, bud.

RFK Jr slipping out of the room as soon as someone has a medical emergency like he's up next is proof he doesn't know how the human body works

Found not guilty of assault with a deli weapon

I want sandwich guy murals in every major U.S. city by Sunday. Get to work, you talented lot of street artists. 🫡🫡🫡

Sandwich man found not guilty by a jury of his pickle spears

sub is trending and this time it's not about me

These people are evil, unfixable, dangers to society

I stress my boss out so bad because I wait until the last minute for all mandatory deadlines

True story, I've not cut my hair in so long and it's almost to my ass 😭

I am paying off my car this month and that's going to feel so financially freeing

"Is this a workplace or a wokeplace?"

Applying to be a thief in an art heist and showing them the collection of hearts I've stolen over the years

"let me absorb you into myself for all eternity so we never lose eachother in the deep sea, valentine"

Ross Douthat: Why Does Pepper Spray Burn My Eyes?

I left that lewd up for 24 hours which is a personal Bsky record 🫡

Ross Douthat: Why Do Women Cross The Street When They See Me?

Ruined it with all their pink, shimmery keyboards and lunch totes and tampons everywhere