God, @nytimes.com - “vastly overstates” is doing a lot of heavy lifting AND cushioning at the same time

me: *takes off glasses and sets them gingerly ATOP a nearby void* Four seconds later… me: ah fuck, where are my glasses

Relax, bread department

All eyes on Iran. The “heavy price” the NYT so casually euphemizes is oftentimes death. Mass death.

i will never stop thinking about the intersection of epstein and the shitty media men list

Kid Rock looks like my uncle who threatened me from atop a hillside wearing battle camo because I left a tv in his front yard (yeehaw)

I’m in the optometrist’s waiting room with 2 pairs of broken glasses 💪

All eyes on Iran. The “heavy price” the NYT so casually euphemizes is oftentimes death. Mass death.

“Comparing the number of dead they witnessed with hospital baselines, they estimate it could exceed 30,000, far surpassing official figures. This is based on the conclusion that “officially registered deaths related to the crackdown likely represent less than 10% of the real number of fatalities.”

Picked up a shift at—

How can someone have all this and be unhappy

Just been made aware of Haiti's winter Olympics get-up. That skirt looks warm, has good pockets, and has a massive horse on it. DING DING DING.

Today I learned that a “buttload” is roughly 130 gallons of wine

Gavin Newsom could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and we’d still get told he’s better than the alternative.

I’m so tired of evil, old men killing and hurting children and young adults.

“Comparing the number of dead they witnessed with hospital baselines, they estimate it could exceed 30,000, far surpassing official figures. This is based on the conclusion that “officially registered deaths related to the crackdown likely represent less than 10% of the real number of fatalities.”

Them: excuse me, do you know where the restroom is? Me: what for

Omg I’m just learning I’m a slutty little crustacean.

Mitch McConnell is going straight to shell

My favorite part in the bible is when its full title gets mentioned in the book. You know that one chapter that starts with “As I write this Bible…”? THAT’S my jam.

*me, squinting* I’m sorry, but I still can’t read this room

god bless him for hitting the maga trifecta: bully, loser, criminal

I woke up this morning with flu-like symptoms so I took some meds and stayed in bed instead of gumming up the machinations of a national government because I’m a hateful human-turtle-senator hybrid

The “pre-diplomatic talks” between the US and Iran are already breaking down. You don’t have to understand the intricacies of the politics there (I don’t at all) to see and understand what’s clear as day: the regime there is slaughtering its own people EN MASSE. Right now. Right right now.

The “pre-diplomatic talks” between the US and Iran are already breaking down. You don’t have to understand the intricacies of the politics there (I don’t at all) to see and understand what’s clear as day: the regime there is slaughtering its own people EN MASSE. Right now. Right right now.

Mitch McConnell is still in the hospital? Tell him to hurry up; we’re paying for this shit after all.

Don’t look at me. I’m not allowed to have grapefruit.

I heard Mitch McConnell has fully retracted back into his shell at this time.

Must be nice to be able to afford to check yourself into the hospital for flu-like symptoms

Don’t talk to me til I’ve had my Uncrustable

I need someone to read Trump this headline, word for word

This… this just might do it

Award-winning poet and graphic designer Pantea Amin Tofangchi came of age during the Iran-Iraq War. Her words are as timely as ever. I implore you to read this collection - Glazed With War @panteaamin.bsky.social masonjarpress.com/chapbooks-1/...

I like how the picture choice makes it look like he’s hearing the news

Award-winning poet and graphic designer Pantea Amin Tofangchi came of age during the Iran-Iraq War. Her words are as timely as ever. I implore you to read this collection - Glazed With War @panteaamin.bsky.social masonjarpress.com/chapbooks-1/...

My wife is an Iranian-American refugee. Her family is in Shiraz, where thousands have already been killed. So, I’m clued into the massacre in Iran. I’m not saying I’m some expert. I won’t pretend to know shit I don’t. But the death toll is devastating… www.independent.co.uk/news/world/m...

My wife is an Iranian-American refugee. Her family is in Shiraz, where thousands have already been killed. So, I’m clued into the massacre in Iran. I’m not saying I’m some expert. I won’t pretend to know shit I don’t. But the death toll is devastating… www.independent.co.uk/news/world/m...

My groundhog brings all the gents to the yard And they’re like, it’ll never get warm

I bet Bad Bunny could take Punxsutawney Phil in a fight

This photo cracks me up. I can’t focus or brush my hair to save my life; meanwhile, my little brother is about to snap.

I bet Bad Bunny could take Punxsutawney Phil in a fight

My groundhog brings all the gents to the yard And they’re like, it’ll never get warm

Why am I livid right now at a clairvoyant marmot?????

Ask Punxsutawney Phil if he sees six more weeks of Trump

My first proper reading in about a decade, so of course it’s with the “Tomorrow Will Be Worse” series here in Baltimore ! 7 pm, 2/12, Old Major. Wear shorts.

Has anyone checked to make sure Punxsutawney Phil isn’t in the Epstein Files?

Has anyone checked to make sure Punxsutawney Phil isn’t in the Epstein Files?

Yesterday, five-year-old Liam and his dad Adrian were released from Dilley detention center. I picked them up last night and escorted them back to Minnesota this morning. Liam is now home. With his hat and his backpack.

More like Steve B’Anon

Commenting “AI slop” on every photo I see of someone smiling