Can the president die of bad approval ratings

This is Stan. He is the guardian of the stairs. It's his first day and he's a little nervous. Really hoping you don't try to pass. 12/10 (TT: stanthehotdawg)

What’s everyone reading these days????? TELL ME.

diva down!

Pete Hegseth looks like he butt-scoots across the Oval Office floor

Were you a “buddies with your English teacher” queer kid or a “buddies with your art teacher” queer kid? Personally, I was neither; I was a “mortal enemies with the choir director” queer kid.

I love getting my haircut because I take off my glasses and I can’t see shit the whole time and when I put em back on again, I sometimes look better than when I sat down and I sometimes look worse, but that’s life, baby!

Tragic that we’ll never find out what Dilbert thinks about this war

my cat watching me answer emails

who's this "we" Lindsay, you planning on storming the beach?

Every time I go through airport security I encounter a different set of rules regarding my shoes, jacket, electronics, etc, and if I don’t guess correctly on which rules are in place, I get yelled at. Anyway, today I realized I should have been grateful the person yelling at me didn’t have a gun.

Just go to SuperDry, bro.

I’m launching a one-man expedition to steal the costumes from the film Project Hail Mary

[somberly] Mueller, She Wrote

Well, now I have a template for when IT happens

Well, now I have a template for when IT happens

I’m listening to the smooth sensations of cool jazz

My cat’s like “don’t talk to me until I’ve had my elastic hair tie”

Imagine teleporting to Waffle House and the getting the shit kicked out of you the second you materialize 🤣🤣

If he can keep going, you can too

We have to nip the infection where it starts. We must destroy whatever is making all this podcast EQUIPMENT

My favorite vocal stim is the cow from Twister—throwing my voice around while mooing

Nice LED headlights. Do you blind your own mother with those headlights????

I can’t believe people have to scan themselves at the airport now

I love when “giant pants winter” slowly melts into “slut shorts spring”

Sometimes I lie in bed and worry that I’m the most extreme human version alive of someone who who lies in bed and worries 😮‍💨

GPS should have a “meander” option

Sorry I’m late, I had to fill my sinus cavities with window gap foaming spray real quick

The world: every perv in The Epstein Files needs to be ID’ed and imprisoned Reuters: I found Banksy

One of the Big Three agencies in Hollywood just fired 3% of their staffers 😬 Every year since I graduated drama school it’s been “the worst year the industry’s ever had” www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/bus...

I’m beginning to think John Fetterman isn’t really a democrat

Pantea Amin Tofangchi grew up in poetry, war, death, conflict, beauty, hatred, love and censorship all at the same time. She was eight when the Iran‐Iraq War started. GLAZED WITH WAR is her story. masonjarpress.com/chapbooks-1/... @panteaamin.bsky.social #poetry #iranwar #poetrycollection #poem

The world: every perv in The Epstein Files needs to be ID’ed and imprisoned Reuters: I found Banksy

I absolutely think this is the key element in deciding to separate art and artist. Shakespeare was probably one kind of asshole or another but buying the complete works doesn’t allow him or his heirs to do more damage. It’s a critical distinction between censorship and boycott.

Thank you to everyone who supported this campaign. Together we were able to do things never seen in American politics, to set a new standard from what we should expect from the people who try to represent us. What we built matters, regardless of the outcome. And the work isn’t over.

This @the-independent.com story is such an obvious lift of mine that they didn’t even bother deleting my site’s referral URL. And no, they do not credit me for reporting it first or (intentionally) link to my story. In j-school, rewording someone else’s reporting was called plagiarism. 1/

“We promise we won’t infringe upon constitutional rights” is one helluva concession—

I’m micromaxxing hell by looksdosing

What if a gift horse looks in MY mouth? What then?????

“We noticed you from across the bar… because we work here.”

i’m assembling a very confusing team

“Sir, a second smell is emanating from you.”

CAN YOU SECURE THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ?????

ABUGO TO THE POLLS!!!

Every former president today—

Every former president today—

Checking in on our tech overlords, one is on his way to Rome to give a series of talks about the antichrist and another has convinced himself that thinking is fake

FAFO on an international scale

I love that The Simpsons predicted the clouds out my front window