noam chomaky sucks. i prefer the superior theory of yesam chomsky

Jon Green is right.

Oh hello!

Eat shit, lol, and long live The Onion.

It's a small venue but a gig's a gig

our mismanagement of the environment has crossed the point of no return, the dolphins are leaving

One time Andre Royo came into my old work, which was a health food store, and the first thing he said to me was "You got any Brussel sprouts in this motherf-- place?" And we did. Super nice guy. Always a pleasure to help.

taco is short for ta company

well friend believe it or not I wrote a book on the principle

A couple of weeks ago, I had a self tape for a 'progressive' candidate for office. They asked what I would say to a politician, if given the chance. I did not hold back. This seems appropriate to share today. Maybe since I'm a straight, white man, people will listen more. #FuckICE

the average whales resent the krillionaires

"A new study out of Cornell Universit found workers most excited and impressed by corporate speak may be the least equipped to make effective, practical business decisions, and it can leave companies with dysfunctional leaders."

fixed it

Robert E. Lee got his ass beat at Gettysburg by a professor of rhetoric and oratory from Bowdoin College and generations of reactionary fantasists have died mad about it.

making a horse shrine page on my ipad

i would put the puck in my ass and just walk into their goal what are they gona do

How your email finds me

If a logo, cartoon, or other form of media presents you with an animal wearing a hat, it should be considered a crime against humanity to "update" it by removing the hat from the animal.

me, asking where the party at-at

John Fetterman is just shaved Gossamer from Luney Tunes

i think we entered the bad timeline in 2013 when the miami dolphins took the helmet off their little dolphin in the logo

nobody has a worse understanding of how much a billion is than billionaires

feds do NOT read this, this post is NOT FOR FEDS, ok now rhat all the Feds are gone: i heard every single ice agent likes to stick their dick in a pencil sharpener

Get in losers, we’re lighting John Fetterman the fuck up with enough jokes today that his Paid Literate will be forced to read them to him

you can always count on the Alexis Account for a) Hootin' & Hollerin' posting and b) atopical stupidity

look, things suck, everybody is allowed to feel hopeless once in a while, but I do think you have some responsibility to limit the contagion caused by offgas from your personal slough of despond

It's probably a good idea to listen to the people who were saying "abolish ICE" ten years ago and pay attention to what dangers they're pointing out now and maybe get on board with that stuff too

This is literally the only thing i have the bandwidth to read about today

moog mogging

getting mogged on by the non sentient headless bodyoid while at the labubu rave

picture, thousan words, etc etc

they won't teach you this in Literature class because they are Afraid

"frankenstein's monster" actually refers to the monster hog he sewed on

jerkin' off so many body parts they call me dr crankin'stein

Do be taking pictures of these unmasked ICE agents in airports please

can you smell what the shit is posting

ah damn, sam keith died too? jesus, what a week anyways the maxx is on the internet archive so i'll be rewatching this soon

Mr. President sir, the people want you to die.

why is it called a penis instead of a fellow peein' tube

i saw goody proctor throwing ass with the devil

more cat picture

this is how men stand at tailoring shops

When are they going to make a new sandwich that fixes everything

posting his way to victory

oi me beans