weyoun 7 has officially come in 2nd or 3rd at trivia four times in a row. it is time to put him out to pasture and become weyoun 8

Bringing back Limewire to illegally rip copies of reporting suppressed by the government is definitely some cyberpunk shit

i have so much cooking to do tomorrow and my kitchen is still kinda messy and my back fucking huuuurts

might put the CECOT story on a flash drive and play it at the bar tn

bari weiss might be speedrunning failing up and crashing back to earth

i absolutely love how the comments are full of more backups and mirrors. this is the most eyes a 60 minutes segment has gotten in a decade

Teens everywhere enjoying the forbidden 60 Minutes video, they call it Rooney Maxxing, going Leslie Stahl mode, they go to parties dressed as Scott Pelley

i LOVED those pajamas and i had to get rid of them because they wanted me dead

look, i know everyone has their PROBLEMS but i am so self conscious abt how small my head is

i finally bought some satin lined beanies for winter, but because my head is so FUCKING SMALL they keep slipping off :(

thank you to the person who bought my BITCH CAT a new water fountain thank you 🖤🖤🖤

i am buying 5 pounds of fresh baby spinach to make one batch of fatayer and, let me tell you, that is usually NOT ENOUGH

STOP ASKING ME IF I AM MAKING DOLMA. THERE ARE OTHER FOODS.

thank you for letting me ramble about making food you probably don’t care about, it is helping incentivize me to clean the kitchen

if you are using jarred leaves to make warak enab, please know that the orlando brand ones SUCK. try to get alafia if you can bc they are really soft and good quality, but also, almost *entirely* prepped? i have maybe had to trim like a handful of stems a jar

however if you DO want to remain a heathen when you make yr grape leaves (she says, talking to literally nobody) those cheap ass steamer baskets are actually perfect bc they will fit in any size pot yr working with)

also, i am finally a real adult bc i bought a REAL cooking weight for my grape leaves. after years of accidentally cracking plates, and then switching to a steamer basket (which worked great btw) i just feel so OFFICIAL

will someone come over and help me clean my fucking kitchen so i can make grape leaves and spinach pies this week

i am so fucking TIRED

wikipedia did a wrapped???? lmao?

now is the time for miso soup

i emptied my 401k yesterday so that i have enough liquid to continue to pay rent for the next like… year. if i let all of my credit cards go into collections

i keep getting emails from the fucking DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE about a job and like. i am fucking broke and desperate, but *absolutely* not

rosterman who is coming to the wedding called me 3 times tonight while i was in the car with THE BRIDE and her sister me: WHAT roster: FUCK YOU (hangs up) me: BRO WHAAAAT roster: EAT SHIT (hangs up) me: YEAH DUDE? roster: i saw a man on a unicycle get hit today, okay goodbye (hangs up) i hate him

if i were vulcan, my name would be T’Pain

“and you don’t like oysters, right?” me: “no. no bivalves. i’m too straight, i cannot eat clit-shaped foods”

… henry & marcus

i love how this WebSite is full of people saying the exact same fucking thing over and over and over again in the comments because they can’t be fucking bothered to think or look at what a single other human being has said before launching off their lowest common denominator bullshit. it’s so cool.

watching bones???? what have i become

i’m sorry, you can keep your “landmarks” i had a Wonder and i wasn’t even interested lmao

frozen hashbrowns are the only thing keeping me alive right now and i am once again reminded that potatoes are one of the most nutritionally complete foods thank you, potatoes.

it’s just absolutely OKAY to live here

i have a very bad stomachache, but i would also kill someone for a hotdog even tho i would throw up halfway through

if i were vulcan, my name would be T’Pain

y’all tryna come hang out at the Toilet Museum?

okay that was fucking incredible

oh sorry; did you think i was a fucking LIAR?

going 2 see “a christmas carol” tonight in the original klingon

does anyone want to ¿ʇuǝɯuɹǝʌoɓ ǝɥʇ ʍoɹɥʇɹǝʌo

look like. i am not a misogynist but she gives women a bad name

i’m catching up on below deck med and i fucking HATE joe

we accidentally cane up w a new kind of avatar tonight and unfortunately it’s a clownbender

like i have been through this before with the break in. with the time my rapist stole from me on his way out the fucking door. but there is something so different about losing almost *everything* you own and it causing you to lose your job and end up in massive debt

someone tried to tell me i was poly bc i run a roster??? i am EXPLICITLY NOT AMOROUS. YOU ARE DELUSIONAL.

trying to orchestrate a threesome post-speed dating inshallah

then you will have what we call a Three Dog Night (dick spilt in half like a hotdog)

many men afflicted in seattle

keep it dry, king. don’t wanna get Trench Dick