creatine and stouffers got me shittin like the smg from halo 2

concept: mr t4t. he pities the fool who ain’t bouncing on it

“I’m strong and I want to have like fifty kids and a farm” of course you do. You’re twelve. “I don’t want to eat vegetables I think steak and French fries is the only meal” hell yeah homie you’re twelve. “Maybe if there’s crime we should just send the army” bless your heart my twelve year old buddy

working on a new unified theory of american reality i'm calling "everyone is twelve now"

FREAKISH AI SIMULATION OF CHILD: remember spending all day on dial up downloading BME Pain Olympics

"And the Washington Generals have the ball stolen again! Globertrotters running away with it in the second half! Whomst could have foreseen it?!"

post a you from a different era

wow 55 billion dollars huh? someone bought the whole company for the cost of one copy of The Sims 4 with all the DLC

Jester

the more homestuck is explained to me the less i understand it and because i attract a type of woman (vriska stans) ive had a LOT of homestuck explanation happen at me so i think im either teetering on the edge of lovecraftian madness or im just going to read homestuck (also a kind of madness)

concept: mr t4t. he pities the fool who ain’t bouncing on it

under no circumstances should you give me 50 dollars right now ⓘ 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘈𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘢. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳.

hey guys :)

they should make a sports gambling roguelike at this point

someone who cannot depict or discuss rape is that much more vulnerable to sexual violence just as an unarmed person is in the face of a brownshirt with a gun

puritanical crackdowns on depictions of sex and sexual violence work similarly to gun control: the state wants a monopoly on their weaponry so they take them out of the hands of vulnerable people.

i do not know what weapons world war III will be fought with, but world war IV will be fought with sticks and stones. world war 5 will be announced and pushed back several times before it ultimately gets cancelled. after that they’re going to soft reboot and it’s just going to be called WORLD WAR

sorry kitten sms fallback isn’t secure and we wouldn’t want you getting out because of a breach now would we?

You may be a meathead who loves the trans people in your life, Family, escalating chaos, Vin Diesel's whole deal, and any franchise with Michelle Rodriguez, but are you the kind of meathead who gives out @tuck.bsky.social's incredible collection, 2 Trans 2 Furious? You could be! And you should be!

[girl who’s gotten a lil too cnc brained] yeah so this new kink ive been getting really into is where the girl likes me and i like her and we both enjoy having sex with each other because we wanted it to happen. yeah not sure what that’s called but it’s so hot right? kinda fucked tho. i’m a sicko.

the most beautiful women in the world are excusing themselves for eleven minutes and 33 seconds to go watch the homestuck pilot without you

keanu should be allowed to do whatever he feels is right for this

cool thought! i will use your thought to shield myself from the goons who invade my city and i will let you know how that works for me, let me know if you come up with something more useful

me when the lgbt focused boutique airline i founded is failing and i have to admit defeat to my bank in the face of financial ruin but im being a courageous girl about it

if we started saying that financial precarity was a gender affirming experience for trans people i bet we could fool the government into instituting UBI

i should be cleaning my apartment but instead i’m downloading some of my favorite youtube’s onto my plex so that i can watch them ad free with my gf normal girl shit

oh my GOD dude SHUT UP

Parker Peters, Spider-Woman, rewatches Bound with Black Cat

Parker Peters is getting on a soapbox and she's taking a stand

btw can attest to the evening i just had: this makes a WILD double feature

i’m glad they finally made a sequel and it’s good they kept on the same director but the naming convention is pretty weird ngl

podcast hosts can hear when you do this and we appreciate it

nvm i’m just not gonna post about my life anymore i guess it’s just shitposts now the fuck

i just scrolled through too many of your posts to find this one, goddamn you post about baseball a lot

a lot of times when i see a crossover i think “who the hell does this even appeal to, what is the venn diagram between those audiences” this is not one of those times

claim: corn flakes were invented because kellogg was a freak obsessed with masturbation and thought a bland diet would discourage masturbation what's true: the claim what's false: well the box didn't say you wouldn't cum

me: has a breakdown last night because i’m overloaded and overwhelmed at work that has rolled right into this morning my boss, upon me walking into work today: every call we’ve gotten this morning has been to book you, your schedule is already full straight to next friday

i’ve never seen anyone post information they got off clearsky or a similar app and thought “wow it’s good you had access to that information, that’s not rotting your brain at all”

podcast hosts can hear when you do this and we appreciate it

one like=it shouldn’t be like this

girl who thought she bounced back after eating last night woke up and has not, in fact, bounced back

if you haven’t seen this video of cal raleigh 20 years before he would win the home run derby you are missing out youtube.com/shorts/g18iZ...

I deserve an absurdly large gengar plush.

pussy tighter than a Trader Joe’s parking lot