Sweeping the knives off my bed to make room for sex.

bunch of things inside my stomach

has anyone seen my humping pillow

give me candy or give me death

I'm barely held together with caulk and screws

riding a lime scooter to heaven

buying one small can of soup and one giant loaf of bread

can you find your own prostate before the icicle melts?

you make me feel like a pillowcase filled with candy

I'm ready to believe in the chudler

i think very slowly it takes me days to have a full thought

Chapped lip season is fun cause you get to chew off pieces of your mouth like a little snack

i trust this is a banger

Good hustle. What other dances can you do?

another huge W for women<3

ethical cannibalism is when two curious consenting adults come together to try a piece of each other

Beyond Bedtime

Bro I'm gonna hog tie u & put u in a potato sack

it's getting close to spaghetti

I've been meaning to take ibuprofen all day

if i had laurels worth a damn, i'd be sitting on them too

Babe… babe… babe…

kids these days dont know about iTunes

spaghetti

thinking about a ground beef based dinner

he's obsessed with me

it's so important to have one cat who never leaves your side for one moment and another cat who just yells at you for food

good morning guys let's listen to april wine

I have to be the hottest bitch on the metro b line at 8:30pm on a tuesday for some reason

these aren't bits guys this is just my lived experience

before asmr videos I used to fall asleep to a dvd of fight club every night

girls only want one thing 😔

Taking my aloof wife and my swarthy genderfluid child to the transgender coffee shop

siri when will I stop feeling tired

I stopped listening to podcasts years ago and have been watching suspiria (2018) hundreds of times instead

where I post from

when ppl say it's nothing at all like 1977 and it's like, okay?

the polycule chat when dick cheney dies

in bed lol

calling him coach while he fuckin u

aloof hotwife

my beautiful aloof wife

grass fed gf

free range gf

I need your eggplant emoji babe

you are now entering the candy zone

follow me for more #bathtubfacts

the bathtub is a great place to jack off

why are you trying to upset me

this concludes my parade coverage