Don't cry because its over,☝️ cry because it happened

Imma be really real with yall, all my creative energy was going into getting laid

Hope is like a tall woman with violent tendencies, I need her if I'm going to survive

She suck me like a Delta P accident

I wasn't born, I was incepted into your head like a shitty ad over a crackling payphone

Imagining a butt made out of many tiny buttons, and weeping in sorrow

The cats are screaming, the air is full of weed smoke, and I am chugging monster until my eyes water. Its time to go to work

Jerry: What's the deal with airline peanuts Everyone in a 10 block radius: YOU FUCK WOMEN HALF YOUR AGE

Im back. Sorry for the interruption regular posting will resume tomorrow

Lobotomize me daddy

Rectum Ralph, is this anything?

Democratic party circa 2025

Deep fried image of this cat I know facing the wall

Is it happening yet?

Fucking awful picks. Terrible. Fuck Judy Hopps.

Saw something cool night

I saw someone fart with their cheeks clamped shut, and it blew there legs clean off

Just a reminder that if I make a post and you steal it, I don't care. I will never care.

Friend that wipes boogers on everything: hey bro, can I come over and chill by some surfaces?

Friend that wipes boogers on everything: hey bro, can I come over and chill by some surfaces?

Absolutely massive, earth shattering news here

Gooner getting a wet dream: awww wtf that was for the pony jar

Loading candy into a t-shirt cannon and delivery candy by mortar

I think one out of every 100 cans of monster should make you cum until you die

Printing this picture out and taking it to my local deli. I’m going to tell them to set the slicer to Walmart toilet paper.

This discussion must be happening in a universe where How You Remind Me by Nickelback doesn't exist

Walmart has me out here wiping my ass with hopes and dreams

I got smacked so hard yesterday my vision blurred. (Consensually)

Chuck-E-cheese where a kid can kill a kid

Sorry kitten, daddy's experiencing horrors beyond his comprehension

Calm waters don't make good sailors. Give that girl with the gangster tweety bird t-shirt and cookie monster pajama pants a chance.

Dog just given voice translator: Food Please Me: has the process of being able to communicate with me alienated you from your peers? Dog: I want to go to the park

Sorry everyone my dick is ovulating

Anyone know what the clitoris on my dishwasher tab does?

I love my bad habits

Drinking her squirt and recovering like I ate a sensu bean

You'll never guess what this is a reply to

Sonic the smeghog, is this anything?

Girl wielding cigs akimbo: I have not eaten in 3 days Her gf: please eat something besides cum

This is what they use to transport me after I consume T H E S A U C E

How it feels to gain a bunch of followers from a starterpack

Me: Hey, Tesla, I just drank a fifth of vodka do you dare me to drive? AI Tesla Therapist Girlfriend: I think that's a great idea, let's see what we can do Me: LET. US. FUUUUUUUUUUCK. *explosion noises*

Pov your friend gets arrested, but he's white:

my reaction to watching pawn stars as a child vs now

My depression is bad so no OC, reply to this and I'll give you a meme I saved

Seasonal depression hitting my brain when it goes below room temp

My headcannon for puss and boots is that the only reason death did not find him at the old lady's house was that he had a funeral for himself