Average iMessage user

You’ll never guess what this is about

I'm more into boobs so that's probably why

Screaming open the schools knowing damn well it’s cause I just want to shove you in a locker and spread rumors and not learn math or some dumb shit.

babe, do i have the yawn of a passoid or am I yawnhon baritonemoder?

Kind of fucked up John Deere isn’t like a funny epitome of the character of a deer but instead is just some shitty tractor brand.

i dont generally believe we should change our humor because of other people, but you really gotta lay off saying 'nice' when you see a 69 or 420 everywhere. elon was doing that shit 5 years ago and he was late to the party. the litmus test is dark red. or dark blue, idk which fits better.

god damn i love lying to federal authorities

Seeing caged match in the TV guide, getting sad realizing they mean like a big dog crate type beat and not like putting men in chastity cages while theyre oiled up

OLD MAN YAOI DAD ROCK

the year is 2035 and the family dog has a roku

I thought I could replace my shoes and get meds this week but then forgor about a $300 bill x3

I think some of you don’t have beautiful princess disorder, I think your just have borderline personality disorder.

Blasting femtanyl and doing a 3rd gear pull while my boss is in my passenger seat looking like:

Need to find a place or band to do photography again. Miss shooting my defunct local venue

My musical taste lies in a spectrum of The Weeknd and some random YouTube musician with 3 followers and GarageBand on an iPhone.

Kind of sad for society, especially this year, that everyone said happy holidays to me and not one person had the courage to wish me a merry hamas. :(

Making the fatal flaw of acting incompetent to avoid people asking me questions only to become actually incompetent

We need the Raytheon of the left

Ignoring the Wikipedia donation box, shaking my head, letting everyone know I yearn for the retvrn of the oral tradition

So if you share some human food to your dog that’s okay, thats “promoting healthier alternatives to processed dog food.” But when I share a pack of smokes with my dog, that’s not innovative enrichment and bonding it becomes “abusive” and “how does your dog drag the smoke and exhale so well???”

Bro you got to watch one piece, bro just watch season 1 you’ll be hooked bro.

Okay they just want us buying real meth with these prices swear2 gog Cocain if it’s on sale,

FBI look at this *starts browsing firearm sales and political soft targets*

They don’t tell you this but when you can’t afford your mental health meds your mental health declines

*Me refusing to do my shot* Elder transgender mommy dommy who means well but is a product of her time: there are hons in Michigans who would love to be as fortunate as you are with your hrt.

Aiming for two days late on my shot

im not well

Need a shower beer and a shower joint and get shower crossfaded

We should straight up kill that guy

i'm about 400$ short on rent this month, i'm fully back to work but the disability payments didnt come in yet. any help would be a big deal ko-fi.com/7ydy_

god forbid a woman

Nobody ever say hi Delphi or what’s up Delphi. It’s always, “I need a gun Delphi” or “Where can I source HRT Delphi?”

Getting yelled at work is a holiday tradition

I’m just a girl

The male loneliness epidemic could be solved if we just did another world war

Shaking my head at the state owned natural park, so everyone around me knows that I rather see this land used for something productive like a parking lot.

if she comes on my shuffle while i'm trying to kiss a trans girl i will be mortified. can't risk it

MUTUAL AID Homeless and disabled trans woman and working artist soliciting tips and donations through the end of the year. I was forced to move into my place sooner than expected and there are so many expenses with that, plus normal costs like food and gas. ko-fi.com/shrikepublis... $robinvbelle

I saw mommy frotting Santa

This country is cooked, I have two degrees and made only 11k year to date and having to decide whether I put shoes on credit or keep patching them up as they completely fall apart.

My only pair of shoes soles separated from the upper, I’m so broke I can’t even get shoes lmao so raw dogging with just the upper lol.

biblically accurate grippy sock footjob

I got a hotdog that looks like one of those shitty options on scrandle

I would be so good at not catching the Brown University shooter. I would be so good at going on podcasts with my partners while directing the FBI.