Guy who is okay with polyamory but still sexist: Okay, so which one of yer is the dish worsher, which one of yous is the worshing machine, and which one of yinz cooks the damn dinner

Every time I order this, I call it a 9/11 and the cashier sighs and corrects me that it’s 9-1-1

I’m sort of in a heat wave myself 😏

Fent test came back negative, call my shit Coke Zero.

Remembering as a kid reading about the hundred years’ war thinking that was a long time to be at war, and as an adult realizing the U.S. has been at war longer than that.

Tfw when Phil Collin’s says, “my generation will put it right” in Land of Confusion

My horny ass could NOT play yugioh

Need a girl who “erms” on it

My horny ass could NOT play yugioh

Girls are whatever gets my dick up and let me just tell you, I got that dog in me and on me

Anyone know where I can some low bottom miis

Fucked up the title groom at a wedding is gendered and not for the person who got groomed by another woman.

Setting off some 330am fireworks just so everyone has something to complain about tomorrow

Don’t fuck me, I’ll cum

Don’t fuck me, I’ll cum

do it. do it. it has to be you

9/11 is for the girls

What would your Naruto OC be?

I finally moved and stuff. It only cost me my savings, my car engine, and now dealing with an oral infection with no insurance.

Me: what music do you like Her: I listen to all genres Me: *loads playlist of various genre versions of “We are Charlie Kirk”*

Asking the plug if his powder is fair trade certified

my mom is innovating in the ppe space

Smoking that Chinese century pack with century of American humiliation lighter

You’ve met me at a very, “where’s the bag” part of my life

I’m a Tfoid

Colorado I’m inside of you

We are a Love’s travel station family, anything else is WOKE

Friends 🤝 incest enjoyers “Twin”

Let’s hold hands twin

Country is cooked, we have a whole state just called misery

rip osama bin laden, you would have loved yuri of the amazing digital circus

No asexuals at pride

rip osama bin laden, you would have loved yuri of the amazing digital circus

I’m sorry but I am dying at do you want to take the tornado route or pay money to avoid the tornado

On the road to Colorado today, thank you for all your support. I could still use support so if you can and wish to donate, please do either through gofundme or directly through: Venmo: @mysdelphi Cash App: $mysdelphi Thank you again for all your love and support 🙂‍↕️

Spoke to my dogtoctor, her tail was NOT wagging during the diagnosis.

*Lesbian Evil Voice* BISEXUAL EVIL

*resident evil voice* LESBIAN EVIL

The Muskogee Times Democrat Muskogee Oklahoma May 27,1916

Getting weird looks cause I keep pointing at random places and saying loudly, “this would be a perfect spot for a data center”

Azumanga Daioh (2002) あずまんが大王 THE ANIMATION Episode 15: Sports Fest, Second Year 00:16:22.953

God bless the guy blasting music full volume downtown and it cuts to an ad saying, “my husband use to prematurely ejaculate before…”

Youre telling me these fries go crinkle cut?

Lmao