my lovely autism sick day

when lil jon said yeah. i felt that

listening to a 20-minute dexter gordon song while i sit hunched over on the couch resting my chin on my hand and staring into space

i wish i had a second account with an entirely different mutual and follower base where i could go when im frustrated with this one, like a 1960s businessman with a secret family

killing myself fastidiously

it was a pallid winged grasshopper y’all. i figured it out

🍓

lefty #6

grayson allen 40-piece

i know many of you won’t agree but i think people should generally be less mean

can we skip the clever caption and get straight to the point

weapons grade chilling

i hate clocks and urgency and deadlines and stimulants

been slowly trying to wean all my writer coworkers off using the emdash so ppl don’t think we’re just a bunch of llms

my cat loves to basically throw herself onto her side and roll on the floor for pets, and i always chant ‘flopper, flopper’ like an nba crowd while i love on her

hello my name is dr greenthumb

my life a email

it’s big shirt + panties o’clock

werehare rogue pretending to be a monk, that’s the grab-it & stab-it rabbit abbot

Thats you. You have to search horny cat in gifs.

chilling can either mean everythings awesome or everythings scary

🫷 😐 🫸

i can feel all your little psychic hands on me

they say to post what you know. whell i’ve just been borned and it’s weird

being born is weird

wassup world

(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

-_-

just have to get through today then tomorrow then next week then every week

still have the highest number in both of these categories and now my PA is higher than any other team’s PF. i’ve gone from 5-1 to 5-4. matchup luck hell

setting my slack status to ‘i’m getting angy : )’

did you seriously just conflagrate ?

crisp awl

i hate being stabbed by palm trees

standing and pressing into the ground with my legs and feet as hard as i can

get brangled dude. get absolutely parfooned

it’s awesomeee how the way my face looks to me changes at least 5-10 times in an hour-long zoom meeting

clearly the frog should’ve just immediately killed or ran away from the scorpion the moment they met so it wouldn’t have the chance to be hurt again. stupid ass parable

guys i’m willing to consider being sent back in a trade for one of these ‘mass exodus’ rich new yorkers

daijobu

i respect how committed code lyoko was to foreheads

diva is a female version of a hustla

being tempted in the wilderness sucks ass