without enough attention i have died

mini golf is the pride and joy of the proletariat. it is a righteous activity golf courses are a plague for the bourgeois. regular golf is an inherently evil sport

sorry I got mad about dumbshits with bad opinions, have a picture of beep beep being a big baby and demanding to be held

(learning about things that ebb) it also does WHAT

Marie Antoinette would have loved Quaaludes 🥺

so basically white house staffers are burning entire data centers to the ground having grok generate ai slop to nudge president grandpa’s melting brain toward whichever culture war flashpoint the nazis are moaning about on twitter and succeeding only in convincing him of the existence of mutants

america is just 10 major cities in a trench coat

it is me, evil private equity firm. i have purchased all the taco bells and turned them grey. it cost me a ton of money and killed foot traffic during construction but it was worth it to make 30 year olds extremely upset

babe come over i need to squeeze your boobs and complain about the internet

dont blame me i voted for giant meteor

A McDonald's playplace isn't a third space, and pining for regonizable retail silhouettes is weird.

being a lesbian means you found an ed hardy cologne at 23 on discount at a payless in a dying mall that had a 90% off everything must go clearance sale and have been wearing that same bottle for almost a decade since

imagine being a retvrn guy for gaudy drive thrus

"sorry babe but i cant degrade you during sex, i respect you too much" ok well now im just going to fuck someone who doesnt respect me

Brewing the perfect IPA with the power of Salesforce AI

this IS a place of honor. esteemed deeds ARE commemorated here

i couldve coasted through life on my debate scholarships, arguing my way through college until im a politician or a lawyer, but every time i go that route i feel so burned out and unhappy. i only ever feel fulfilled when im making money being naked. im tired of trying to be respectable yall

I rest my case. Jimmy is a girl, QED

i win every argument by saying you only have the opinions you do because of patriarchal rape culture passed down by your father

if i dont get enough attention im staying in bed and not moving

remember the time everyone spent like a month on here fighting with some dude who was clearly in a psychotic episode… yeah….

could i interest you in some miserable weather?

i want to date an evil scientist and she clones me and then cucks me with the clone and has me executed in her bedroom while shes riding the face of the new me

"a copy is still a copy. imperfect" who says, huh? my copies are lossless, in fact we make changes during the cloning process to make them better. so id say its the original we should toss out, dont you agree?

IN: 2026 OUT: 2025

who took the cummies from the cummies jar?

thinking about how everyone told me i had to comb or brush my hair to stop it from being frizzy but actually i had to stop doing that for literally ever. why is all hair care advice terrible

i only connect with people emotionally when im on top and its inside me

stop respecting me, im a pathetic slut

the phone camera of dorian grey

being a 5'11 lesbian and a "make me" brat is so fucking hard

what walking through lumiose city at night feels like

I want it to snow here so bad that I’m spitting up big mouthfuls of blood

insurance denied my estrogen prescription, they only cover sissy hypnosis and ashwagandha powder now

do you know what these hands had to do to get you that labubu? ill never sleep easy again. happy birthday, honeybun

adult female enjoys several medicinal beers in the dark

this band rocks but yall wouldnt know about that

I don't want any of you to touch grass. What I want is you mildly comatose with a slacked jaw expression akin to a Venus fly trap waiting to eat its next house fly, I want you blue screened, complacent as hell, and 100% irrationally addicted to my shitposts.

mark cuban x taylor swift crackship

Rubbing my scent glands on the corners of each wall in the house before I leave

ooohhh your girlfriend has a crush on you

mf’ers will say “woke is back and we’re getting revenge!” and then spend the next 24 hours seething at a female candidate distributing a few hundred dollars worth of community donated tampons lol

making kids write essays where they have to cite sources and then not checking their sources or grading them based on their synthesis of the works they cite has created a generation of morons who think having a book that repeats their idiotic talking points makes them more right than someone without

would you like to cone over and boss me around

making cinamon rolls and doing nothing today aka CHILLING ever heard of it

Im fucking peeing on your tomatoes

fuck you, homesteader. we are turning your shitty tomato "farm" into a 7 story mixed use costco/condominium/park

suspiria (2018)