Drawing up an informed consent with my lawyer before we smash. Getting my partner to sign my informed consent before we smash. Uploading my partner’s signed informed consent into my electronic health record before we smash.

how did i go so long not knowing we were literally teaching people to read wrong. i knew something wasn't right but jesus christ www.apmreports.org/episode/2019...

My wife beats me because I can’t get pregnant and continue her bloodline 😢

I received this email about Democrats caving to end the shutdown from one of the SNAP recipients I spoke to:

does anyone have some good club rap/house rap recommendations? im making a playlist but im not gay enough to know more than 5 artists

there was always more than one, that's why he wasn't called jame

wagging my tail and im small but im under you im yooberz

Poorly localized RPG narrator: People are teaching pagan religion views—a new religion with sacrifices.

(Picking out cannabis at the legal dispensary) i want something where i can turn up and party, but also something where i can get down and party.

ai will replace 9% of the workforce by 2027

thank god someone finally did something about michigan

im playing with various items such as gun, knife, sword, bomb

instead of starting an online petition nobody will see you should try something fun, like heroin

i love mainstream punk music because its wearing the skin of real punk which itself was wearing the skin of holden caulfield, stitched together with a poor understanding of philosophy skimmed in freshman year of college before it dropped out

listening to franz schuberts ave maria and touching myself

i had a very gay dream last night where america went through a collapse and me and this girl lived in a christian village and as they got more homophobic we couldnt stop being lesbian so they exiled us

when did we start calling the rule of cool aura farming like fictional characters have agency over being badass

wut is an edmund fitzgerald

most of the old people you encounter in daily life are a part of or were the middle class, so they aged relying on the servant class pre-iphone to baby them in every facet of their life. thats why they cant use a card, or pay bus fare with their phone, or use facetime. its all learned helplessness

i need a big rug for my living room so i can sweep all my problems under it

yapjutsu kaisen

youre allowed to eat curly fries for dinner as your only meal of the day if youre perfect and an angel

i hope this subtweet finds you well

It was custom for dinosaurs to fossilize their dead

My son Seamus died 15 years ago today. He was killed by a careless driver in a crosswalk. He walked at 9 months, almost as if he knew he wouldn’t have much time. His favorite thing to do was throw rocks into water. He loved the moon. He called butterflies “buddy buddies.” I miss him every day.

this reincarnation cycle could have been an email

my life a email

YeEEeEah BOi!

incredibly funny that Joyce Carol Oates owned Musk so hard he's started trying to post like a regular person with normal interests

@enbies

@men

@women

i would honestly do evil things if it made me feel morally superior to everyone else. i would ban youtube and social media. doctors would be forced to perform transgender surgery under duress. i would send my political opponents somewhere terrible, like phoenix

getting put in the lathe of heaven starter pack

took a hit of weed and have been staring at this for what feels like 10000 years

no dude she collapsed on the flight and everything and then someone noticed she hadn't filled out her budget spreadsheet and they said does anyone on the flight know how to do an email job and we all raised our hands

im not liable for what i do when i wake up and have to go to work

Hey everyone -- Gaza continues to be unsafe and dangerous. Saeed has been on Bluesky for a long time and we know him here. Let's help him provide for his family with winter coming.

guys watch pluribus so i can talk about it

im moving to japan so i can inject fujimoto with estrogen

i dont care about democrats i just want to nuzzle my head in that space between a womans neck, breasts, and collarbones and listen to her heartbeat while we fall asleep

guys i'm sliding down a sea of golden sand during sunset and a beautiful cello melody is playing

pluribus is so good i wish i got pluribus'd

😆 = i am laughing at you 😂 = i am laughing at something 🤣 = i am not laughing at all, i am actually extremely buttmad

Frankenstein (2025)

such weekend webs we weave

We used to build MAX lines and now we’re debating whether we can afford paint for bus lanes bikeportland.org/2025/11/07/t...