I used to be in your walls. Now I’m crawling into your ventilation duct to die.

just had several magical abilities bestowed upon thee

what of burger

just got a message from my DoorDash driver that said I am definitely not doing something to your pizza right now

I wanna pepperoni

remember to be a good little scared worker bee

got sold blighted apples gonna go throw them at the purveyor

Sorry I'm late for work I got lost in your eyes

1000 horses

What are you planning to hatch from those giant pulsating eggs?

ever since I was little I knew I wanted to be a creature

The sun hits different when it’s rays are perpendicular to the Earth

how have you been up to

boy moding doesn’t work, especially when you have nail extensions

Some of that stuff you posted online was pretty messed up, dude

people might freak out

My powerful claws will help me for the next few years

my pet fish loves hanging out in puddles of water lol

nl

I forgot to plug in my phone last night and I died

It’s cold as fuck out here

They should make an app that makes your phone screen rough like sandpaper

don’t die. how will we track your progress then?

Colors are different now

Who wants to rub shoulders with me?

my superstar status is the talk of the town

I hate these motherfuckers

I love doing things that are legal

new treants

eap shit and die

when I’m driving my car and I’m on the phone I like to say things like "help! I've got some bogeys closing in on me"

It would be a good day to ride on a motorcycle bike

listening to music is one of the worst things you can do to yourself

I just saw a spectral figure beckoning me

sit on it and brotate

watching leaves blow in the wind “everything is falling down around me”

i’m really enjoying my superstar status on bluesky

I get it

One of the dumbest things in the world you can do is post something dumb

Very basic painting of some flowers from the garden at work

I look like this because I fell into a toxic sludge

"What are you gonna do? Hit me?" "Well, actually"

Dear Diary, Today I met a man covered with skin.

I'm so hungry I could eat a um.. myself?

who is in need of a friend

people really don’t like it when I mimic human laughter

I'm waiting in your wings

hey man don't write 666 that's not cool that's actually evil

it's darker at night because of woke