This 1920’s painting by Michalina Janoszanka is the vibe.

Neighborhood teens are on quad bikes using Christmas trees to joust each other to determine who gets to shoot bottle rockets at me on New Years Eve.

leaning down to smell a flower and two bees fly into my nostrils

you have to keep drinking cold things in winter so your gut biome doesn't get confused

putting on those big rubber pants and taking a harpoon into the sewer to rescue my wife

Going back and forth across the same pedestrian crossing for attention

kissing unlicensed goku

Plotting and scheming in the spire starts at 7pm sharp, if you’re late again the troll guarding the secret entrance will just crush your skull bro

everybody should be allotted one free bag of something per day

Life could be a dream if we all refused to wake up

Guys let’s pull off all our fingers and return to the sea

Embedding abrasive rocks into the walls of my shower to help me dislodge debris from between my tendrils

Rubbing my scent glands on the corners of each wall in the house before I leave

Let’s all go rabid and start frothing at the mouth as a fun new years activity

Are you sure about these tidings bro?

poetry is supposed to sound like whatever some guy on the street is yelling at a lightpole

Rose was being majestic

Cmon dude

We should split up. We’ll cover more ground that way.

Wandering the woods at sunset this evening

Trending in 2026- Out: Integrating AI and increasing productivity In: Ingesting hallucinogenic spores and accessing ancient knowledge

'View of Kiso Mountains and River in Snow' - Utagawa Hiroshige, 1857. #JapaneseArt #ukiyoe

imperious

everything’s coming up [redacted]

only 5 more days until all acquaintances can be forgotten

Just vomited up the last of my Christmas spirit

There is no life in thee, now, except that rocking life imparted by a gently rolling ship

more snow

can i wield you guys as a weapon or not really

To me there’s no such thing as a casual reminder. Every reminder is a matter of life and death

shoveling a path to my neighbor's car and keying it

writing runes of powerful cleansing on the dish sponge with the dish soap

watching tv with the kid

Toad found a frying pan in the kitchen. “I will hit that big animal with this,” said Toad. “All of his teeth will fall out.”

Today is Octidi the 8th of Nivôse in the year 234. Nivôse is the month of snow. Today we celebrate manure.#JacobinDay More information on manure

im in the meadow cropping native grasses like a machine. Must’ve put away 30% of my body weight today

🔔Only four days left to order your keratin scale armour in time for the new year

I should not be stored in direct sunlight

local bloodmancer kids keep drawing globs of blood out of me to make fists that punch me in the face

Becoming an end of year tradition for me to take a little hike and tumble most ungracefully along the way. Presumably natures way of teaching me to walk into the new year humbled

Save money on fuel by pushing your car up hills and rolling them down the other side

Sending you guys an envelope for new years with a handful of my spores. Do with them what you will

got a job at the zoo as the raw meat

New Year’s resolution: spend more time roaming the desolate moors

snow

I purposely allow the Grey Mare to outwit me and gain entry into my home because I like her company. The rumours about me having no rhymes or insults at my disposal are untrue and frankly hurtful