Eating shadowed lumps

[voice reverent] that's Flamen

bro i don't like the portents these wheeling birds are giving off. lemme see your entrails real quick

blue sky, the website! that is. always working!

all i'm asking is for everyone to continually adapt to my inscrutable and ever-changing needs

i just think more people could enjoy the tv show if it was called Something Very Nice is Going to Happen

nice friday. lemme guess, good?

[youth pastor voice] you know who else had a "good" friday?

hope everyone is having a "good" friday

final girl dinner

You have to hand it to dark spirits of the nether realm

This was the first historical instance where 2 people agreed. Prior to that all people had disagreed

If you want revenge, then dig two graves. the first one is a practice grave to get a feel for it and the second is your main or "show grave"

if anyone needs me i'll be here

They taught a robot to chug it's pudding clean aff - here's why investors are scrambling

perfect discount last forever

a wise man would offer me colas three. for myself and two others

If you don't understand something, it's a wonderful opportunity to identify huge deficits in your character and intellect, and to internalise a strong sense of shame.

i have to be an hour late to work sometimes for my health

People will shout your name in public, not realising that they're interrupting you sitting quietly.

you thought you won the argument, however, i have already depicted you as a hungry weasel and myself as a big yak

oh you want me to learn your programming language? you want me to wander the halls of your symbolic labyrinth? like i don't have my own mind maze to run?

sexy photographs? no thanks 🫷 the only "thirst trap" i want to see is the unending, pitiless desert

What the ant experiences as cosmic horror, the entomologist experiences as dramatic irony.

did you know that “unc” actually means “unclear” because no one knows what it means

all of you are saved in my phone as My Best Friend

My dear, idiots guess what? It’s lunch time.

“Pranks” are not fun nor games. I’m goong to call them what they are: lies

some of my best times involved having a blast

RIP Tilly Norwood. She taught me it was OK to be "weird."

reading up on the new spring summer collection

The Goodfeeling

Attn All Lovers Of Doggos, Pupperinos & Furbabies—We Are Collecting Your Pets To Send Them To Beautiful Israel Where Theyll Become Champions

nice greaves loser, gonna go on a fuckass little quest?

I'm introducing myself to bugs

May all beings be peaceful. May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings drive an enormous vehicle into a gaping pit in the earth. May all beings be free.

me: man these puppets ain't shit my buddy Savan the Harbinger:

sending you thoughts of prayers 🙏

they are adding a sixth stage to grief called monkey mode

The traffic safety amulet stays on during sex

I'll tell you the same thing I tell everyone else - hello, how are you

the small crack at the base of my skull has been producing a fluid that I've taken to calling "idea milk"

Stringing piano wire across the road in a misguided attempt to bring more music into the everyday

sorry boss i don't want to work i just want to make dogs happy

getting the Rough Beast a posture trainer before it starts off for Bethlehem

(uncommonly huge pig shuffles down hallway) me: (opens door) gentle time for a meals boy. gentle waters. a backpack of french toast for you (straps backpack to him) pig: (insistent) oink oink me: of course. a backpack of ravioli as well pig: (satisfied) oink (shuffles away and gets stuck in a door)

we are responsible for pigeons

the funniest thing you can make a player do in a video game is choose an option to "Pass Time". Yeah buddy, that's why i'm here