intelligence is knowing that all advertisements are evil. wisdom is letting your deep-seated hatred for them dominate all aspects of your life

"palm pilot" used to mean a small man that guides the motions of your hands, but now it just means computer

all i'm saying is if i was in places deep where dark things sleep with my Dwarves, it wouldn't have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in hollow halls beneath the fells and then me saying, 'OK, we're going far over the misty mountains cold, to dungeons deep and caverns old

no one says "listen here, slyboots" anymore and i think that's sad

sometimes parts of my body get bored and vibrate like a phone for fun

upsetting myself with the thought that youtubers and tiktokers have independently unlocked the same affectless and disinterested voiceover as french art cinema

‘so basically they’re a veterinarian which means they don’t eat animals because they like em so much and cuz they’re a doctor for em or whatever the fuck. which seems stupid to me, i mean i love growin dope but i still smoke it. that’s the circus of life far as i’m concerned’

Marvelling at the homies as they glow through the vast never ending darkness

Can’t believe we used to flit to and fro together man I hardly ever see you in the meadow anymore

Went to the doctor today with a list of demands

“dongles” all time fucked up word

i reckon i could probably hate both the player and the game

you cannot make me use Teams in a way that matters

sending my boss this image in Teams

bedtime. or as i like to call it

its very late so i would like to apologize to the entire bedtime community

just know you played peekaboo wit a legend…

BRAGGADOCIOS_PUGILIST : meet me betwixt 4 posts and i should easily best you DeferentialPunter: sounds plausible

I find that morning is the best time to sit alone in a cold room, but sometimes you just have to fit it in whenever you're able.

photes

oh my god, im your smallest fan. downright the tiniest guy you'll meet.

breakfastide

happy Sextidi the 16th of Pluviôse everyone

twighlight sounds a bit scary. if possible i would prefer the Tealight Zone

N.B., or nota bene, means "good note" in Italian and is used to signify preceding information is especially pleasing to Italians.

no one is allowed to do this

they aren’t. no one is calling me that. i need everyone to understand this isn’t real

mark cuban gif except he‘s your psychoanalyst

finally beat promised consort radahn and his backpack twink (please clap)

occidental? not at all. i meant to do that

gnome country? for old men??

2 melatonin sleepytime gummies at once if i stop breathing someone call a cute little gnome doctor

they bagged my pipes 😩

call for submissions: i am starting a literary journal that only publishes delightful bedtime stories

Ok let's try this: something weird or bad should happen

Embarrassed because I accidentally drank a cheek-reddening potion.

Screaming internally vibing externally

he’ll always be good bunny, to me

thankyou @feathertrail.net

caught my falafel guy calling another white girl habibi 😭😭😭💔

I know the harvest festival is important and all but what if we tried something new? What if we took a little blood from a lot of people instead of a lot of blood from me?

wait. so, you’re telling me he’s called “bad”, but… he’s actually good? well this doesn’t make any sense at all. and that’s not even getting to the part about him being a rabbit

e-mail stands for epstein-mail

a kind and gentle mood approaches!

perverts? No... dear god please… No! sickos? Yes… ha ha ha… Yes!

wealth pretty much makes you stupid. the only time we learn anything is when reality pushes back against us. error, failure, resistance and above all surprise are the only experiences that cause us to doubt ourselves & to inquire. the more wealth eliminates the friction of life the less we can learn

guy whose job is to walk behind gay ceasar whispering to remind him that one day he too will slay

rich and powerful people used to need a guy who hung around reminding them that “one day you too will die”. now they need someone whose job is to tell them “shut the fuck up. no, no. shut the fuck up. what did i say. no podcast. no posts. no public persona whatsoever. just shut the fuck up”