Lmao

honestly i'm shocked this is only $750 and not $7500

Whispering into an on-desk microphone instead of typing promises to save office workers lots of time. It’s also creating an awkward workplace interaction to navigate.

i'm well known for my distinctive bark and striking foliage

Daily affirmations: I’m normal. I’m not weird. I’m being normal. I wasn’t being creepy. Just a regular guy

tfw you are buried in one of those profound reveries to which everybody, even a frivolous man, is subject in the midst of the most uproarious festivities.

I hate to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune

I'm gonna be working on not immediately sniggering when people tell me they are bicoastal

They programmed me for one purpose and one purpose alone, Jerry! To kill!

Lmao (from a Sir Manatee video naturally youtu.be/oBcfUoIo3s4?...)

When it comes to Bay Area flounder culture, the current vibe is lying camouflaged on the bottom of the ocean for upwards of 72 hours a week. Spawn early. Push your left eye to the right side of your body. Ambush passing shrimp.

“Coexist” all written with guns and knives and ninja stars and so forth

Bumper sticker: COEXIST or ELSE

Your notebook now expresses your field surveys with identifiable "habitat seals" for a given level (I think I'll call levels "patches") in the game. You'll be able to cash them in for money or consume them in research work. #GodotEngine #gamedev #indiedev #pixelart #birdingRPG

This is an outstanding data post - a model of using data to answer a tricky and controversial question in a thoughtful and convincing way.

Department of Peace technical

deleting hinge to dedicate myself to refreshing bsky

The Sorrows of Young Sheldon

CHOTINER: And the pizza place, what’s it called? ME: Dominos. CHOTINER: Right. And you can order from your laptop? ME: Yeah. Well, I can also use my phone. Sometimes that’s quicker. CHOTINER: And all the food in your fridge and pantry. When do you eat that? ME: Now hang on a second,

Whales live in pods and eat sea bugs, when you think about it

this is going to cure me

As someone who maybe takes a little too much pleasure from being interpersonally mean to people I regard this latest chotiner entry with awe and terror.

I really want to take up smoking right now very badly

I must go down to the store again, to the muted commercial hits, To the snack aisle and the produce aisle and the deli as time permits; And all I ask is friendly nod from a guy whose shirt I think is funny, And a full tote and a checked-off list and some leftover money.

does being the 49,710th largest account on the 12th biggest social media site make me eligible for promo packages and video game keys to review?

The psycho pedophile regime who kidnaps and kills us is polling unfavorably

Famously Chomsky was the only person on the left to say that the Vietnam War was bad. Same with the Gulf War and the invasion of Iraq. Now that he's been discredited, who can even say if imperialism is bad or not.

Sorry when I said I was culturally gay I didn't mean I liked musicals or anything like that. I meant that I'm judgemental

Showing off my French skills on ebay. Yeah. You could say I'm an international business man

There is dog poop everywhere on the streets. For those with eyes to see

Having a January mental health cleanse where I get out all the mental health I've been putting off the past year

It's over for you, my arguments are based on findings from a recent study published in a journal of high repute - place your neck on the block now and you will retain some dignity.

Womenomics

Werewolf for toddlers. the new fragrance from Bullbar

Ate a bunch of the former and felt bad and then I did some of the latter and now I feel good. Taking notes on this

Midgame mates are just really entertaining

Greg Bovino is coming to Fortnite!

I'm worried I might be too much of an ass hole to be as dependent on others as I am for my thought processes and actions

All this fascism in the world is making it hard to do my job (scrolling Instagram for 10 hours a day)

your cup is full of yourself

keep having the same dream about a fire above my bedroom. probably fine

Enjoyed Tooze's little literary impressions of Davos open.substack.com/pub/adamtooz...

it's kind of fucked up i'll never be able to attend an awards show or weapons demonstration at NEOM The Line

Are there polish nationalists out there who make Napoleon a central part of their personality

why cant our mad king be into something good like building a ziggurat that touches the heavens, or resurrecting his beloved son who his actions inadvertently killed etc