“A friend to everyone is a friend indeed” - Grobian Syboe

I'm separated from you by a glass partition, such is the fate of the hominid.

the simple elegance of fruit bowl has tantalised the minds and palates of generations with the promise of fibre and sweet juices.

When I founded blue sky, I wanted it to be a place free from carry-on, where people could be polite to each other about topics. I am being forced to step down as chief founding officer, due to the ceaseless turmoil caused by the repugnant userbase

I've touched a basket ball, maybe 4-5 times in my life. Golf ball, maybe about 9 times.

embedding, 2024

I'm thinking about drinking one beer.

Showing my displeasure by unravelling my bullroarer at the bus station

Makerspace is an absolutely repellent name for a room full of people wearing graphic t-shirts

You're just in time, adventurer. Something strange is going on, and it has spooked the animals. The village headman is looking for a brave soul like yourself to kill them with this sledgehammer.

check this out man *I pull my arms into my t-shirt*

This is my mate Red-Rat, and this is his plus one, Doppelsöldner. Very boastful but you've got to love his big trousers.

Inviting some friends over for dinner, letting them know I've already eaten, and then watching them eat the meal I prepared for them. Asking them to leave immediately after they have done their own dishes.

Brother not all of those are glory holes sometimes we just hold hands when the poop is too stressful

They taught a robot to chug it's pudding clean aff - here's why investors are scrambling

Making a three hour video essay comparing Neon Genesis Evangelion and Ratatouille to permanently stunt the intellectual development of as many 22 year olds as possible.

In a café, you can hear people grunting softly as they eat a panini - which is a kind of Italian sandwich.

I wish I could still smoke lads.

If you don't understand something, it's a wonderful opportunity to identify huge deficits in your character and intellect, and to internalise a strong sense of shame.

You'll make a statement, on this website. Then sometimes, someone you don't know will appear and ask you the qualify that statement as if you're looking for a discussion. I am not accepting questions at this time, thank you.

Don't give a fuck about dinosaurs. Keep them in the ground. Irrelevant.

I'm sitting here looking at the flowers. Dandelions in this case. And I'm thinking to myself, flowers would be great for some kind of metaphor reflecting their qualities. Worth looking into if you're a poet imo.

People will shout your name in public, not realising that they're interrupting you sitting quietly.

Lens culinaris, in my opinion, an indispensable legume. Cheers then 👍

I am calling on Kier Starmer to chastise the Briton and reform their character. Will he answer?

As a proponent of bringing back rationing in the United Kingdom, it's very exciting to see that the possibility has increased thanks to American hubris. Thank you, Mister President!

My hobbies all amount to looking at technical specifications until I feel like I'm going manic.

Good morning to all Fellow Practitioners

I purchased a filthy broken laptop for £18.

joani reid walking around her constituency

I'll tell you the same thing I tell everyone else - hello, how are you

Sorry for bouncing on the rhythm like a generous lover. Actually, no. No I'm not.

Making myself laugh by saying "ok guys, this tofu scramble is bae" in a youtuber cadence

There is a region of New York City known as the "Dab Ronx"

Not to worry, your happenometer isn't broken,it's actually functioning perfectly. It's just that there's actually always something happening. If you want granular readings you're going to have to get a more sensitive device.

On the bus back to Dunfermline, Scotland's greatest city and the Jewel of Fife

Any tips for weathering a withering fusillade or am I hooped? It's just that I've been given the choice to be the guy with the drum or the banner and I'm worried I'll be used as a literary device to examine the tragedy of war, as excitement gives way to horror

Asking what the arse of the sky is and arresting the first person that says Uranus.

"SON OF MAN, BEAST OF EARTH, DOOMED TO DIE, BY DINT OF BIRTH" Tombstone idea, feel free to use it.

Imagine of you accidentally said "shout the fuck up", and the intended target just shouted "the fuck up" at you. You'd be absolutely devastated.

Stringing piano wire across the road in a misguided attempt to bring more music into the everyday

Three word horror story, ok then how about "Adulting every day" 😂😂😂

Skiting along the bathroom floor like a curling stone, bringing ruin to the ankles of unsuspecting urinal users

Need some proper tunes, let's go 👇

Shivering weakly in the corner to rapidly decrease my social capital at the central heating convention

That’s not wet dog smell, it’s wet man smell - and it was extremely difficult for me to get out of that slippery ditch

When I was wee, I wanted to go to New York on a holiday, have a hot dog and then go home. Sensible, but naïve.

We all want Dog Egg and Rat Milk breakfasts!

Got a cacklebelt from the doctor to prevent hernias after a painful episode caused by a funny dog video

My ai personal assistant keeps sending me pictures of a dog that keeps getting sicker and sicker. I know it's not real but it's beginning to affect my productivity and my cloud storage is nearly full