If we didn't have wind, we'd have to operate wind chimes by hand. And we'd call them "Hand-Chimes".

*evil grobian* cheers then 🖕

Bad news for people that get anxious about speaking to the cashier - with they way things are configured this is basically your job.

Just when you think you're downwind of the sewage treatment plant, the wind changes #perspective

Al Dente was an Italian American chef first credited with under cooking pasta, which was named in his honour.

Need a big ladleful of the Good Stuff (dinner)

Maintaining a list of people who post the survivorship bias aeroplane and the picture of the guy with a description of what constitutes satire on his shirt. The list is entitled "Debate Club Victims". I am not taking questions at this time.

These days it's not uncommon to see a vaping nan. I think my nan would have vaped had she gotten the chance. RIP you absolute hardnut.

Why is almost every robust healthy boy with a robust healthy soul in him, at some time or other crazy to go to sea?

I've been listening to a song recently about a wise wizard who appears to give the people a warning - that their evil and greed will be their undoing. His warning is ignored and he sheds a single tear while observing from heaven. Relatable!

Interrupting the meeting to call for all in attendance to stand up and clap for the NHS.

Is he, you know, a bloke shagger?

The municipal militia has been scrambled after a credible report that someone didn't say thank you to the bus driver - an indefensible assault on democratic norms

Just saw a guy walking about Edinburgh wearing a naval anti-flash hood. Good luck mate, I hope you don't need it

I've written about working on my shite bike that I love. If you're into that sort of thing, you can read it here grobiansyboe.wordpress.com/2025/09/19/a... Cheers then 👍

NO riffing in the replies unless you'd lay down your life to advance The Unified International Theory of Wise Principles, even for a single millimeter.

Worm preparation

Nobody throws quoits anymore.

The best always comes last! I am of course referring to residue.

Looking bored while riding a chariot, which civilised types on the continent consider to be antiquated.

It would be easy to post "beds are high-key slept on". It might even gain some traction, it's got the right words in the right order. But no, it would lessen us both - It would be as if we were chewing at the cud in the field, contented only by the thoughtless motion.

A watched pot never boils - Observably false. This is not a wise principle, it is heedless drivel that encourages superstition and so will be discarded.

I've been up since 4 AM sitting alone in a cold room.

You have got to be kidding mate, we ran out of grinding paste - a lithium based grease containing silicone carbide suitable for a variety of applications from lapping to honing.

Bad news. I've been exposed to the void of space and my health has taken a turn for the worse.

Innumerable Kalpa Journey Through Time

See this? This is how it all works. Don't believe me? You don't have to - It is inevitable.

This is what I believe.

There is no journey, there is only the accumulation of sediment.

*After drinking a potion that cures the "Blindness" status effect* Oh, I see.

I'll soon be eating fudge on the bus.

If something unusual happened I'd go fucking mental

I've written about working on my shite bike that I love. If you're into that sort of thing, you can read it here grobiansyboe.wordpress.com/2025/09/19/a... Cheers then 👍

I make all of my posts with my hands clasped behind my back, looking out the window

It took me far longer than it should have to realise that "it's always the last place you look" wasn't a sincere statement of fact, but rather some sort of sick "joke".

figure

Feel free to have a rummage through the communal onion sack, we all pitch in. You never know what you might find. A shallot, even.

I've come up with some new ramifications, which will be introduced soon.

Things have changed so much. You can get a "goats cheese focaccia" in a cafe nowadays.

Bought some musty bags and greasy mechanisms today

Just having a laugh x

I've decided to secularise Presbyterianism by doubling down on joylessness. A world without smiling is possible.

When I was a boy, people didn't go about in their pajamas. They went about in perfect dignity, averting their gazes from one another as the rain lashed them for hours and hours.

Fife's Natural Borders

"The Days Full of Intense Loyalty to the Country" but instead of the DPRK it's about Fife

Approaching Edinburgh from Queensferry, the air is thick with the smell of earwax. What horror is carried on the breeze, and from where does it issue?

Trouser Choice is one of the most crucial choices you will make in the day,and it takes a lifetime to appreciate the nuances. Yes, this tightly woven moleskin is perfect for thwarting the 40mph gusts, but it has me sliding around on the bus seat like a buffoon. Still so much to learn.

A friend saw a strange soviet object in a charity shop and made the wise choice to message me. I was soon able to identify it as a combination barometer, hygrometer and thermometer manufactured in the Hydrometeo plant Riga, Latvian SSR, sometime in the 70s.

MAN. Predictably these ride like a dream (MKS Gorditos)

Approached by a cheeky chap - send him away ✅