3yo thinks she can count in Spanish and she's like reallllyyy proud but she's actually just saying like "onef twof threef fourf" in a funny low voice

Has anyone kinda noticed of carrots are sorta sweet and GOATED as a root vegetable? (And then I sort of pull off a nsync kinda move)

❤️‍🔥

Have decided to run head first into 2026 screaming unintelligibly and biting the heads off stuff

In 2026 there's going to be more Bella posting where you all talk about me like a friendly NPC you've all heard of

The first day of 2026 will be the first to land on Friday the 13th in 60 years- what an omen!

It's best I don't say too much about 2025 lest I either give it too much credit or focus too much on things that piss me off but know that there is gratitude and the hope for a better time too. I'm very thankful for my friends on my phone.

In 2026 I hope to receive 43 of the worst and most gruellingly detailed sexts anyone has ever sent, also I am allowed to enjoy them without shame or obligation

Happy new year I hope a lot of bad people die this time around

Delivery guy just came and performed a comedy routine for my 3yo and now she's trying to repeat all the jokes but missing a lot of the bits that make the jokes work which is nice

2024 is the year of being made love to in the freezer section, or trying a new ice cream

2024 predictions: Bluesky really takes off with the introduction of "something weird" New animal that apparently always existed but now is printed on socks and pin badges Ballgown event normalised for the common folk A very ugly expensive coat everywhere Year of the fat hog Dryhumping re-popularised

Hope everyone enjoyed breathing this year and is looking forward to the big "New Year's Breathe" tonight at midnight. After that we're hoping to cut back

In my dream I was in a gazebo with all the ladies from my Zumba class and they passed me this huge disgusting tobacco cigarette rolled like a fat joint, I tried to smoke it for ages and in the end my mouth was full of tobacco I was trying to get rid of so I woke up and spat on my pillow :/

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH haha.

2025 is the year I became corn dog initiated and in 2026 I hope to finally go sicko mode

This is the year we all go crazy for love and understanding I can feel it

There should be a time that's like a hidden track where you have to skip ahead a bit after one of the last times and then it shows up but you can miss it otherwise

Hey when you guys imagine me naked am i more shy or confident or getting rly silly with it

You know how it feels when someone is hanging around in the kitchen while you're trying to cook? That's how I feel about existing inside my home with another human being

bella

You can tell me anything btw

I need to meet someone who seems to like really want me but I don't care about them very much at all just think it would be fun for a treat

We love a song featuring maniacal laughter.. gotta have a favourite maniacal laughter track or three

TV that makes you cry is now illegal

I love meeting someone and it's like "there's something wrong with you too"

Where I live is weird because I still don't really know anybody and the only comfortably walkable place is these two corner shops and I went to them today to go outside and the shopkeeper just looked at me confused for buying something

Depression: what is the point Anxiety: you need to fix yourself immediately Costar: your light is inexhaustible 3yo: you're dad and I'm mum and dad is sister. The cat is the baby. I'm a girl so I'm your son and she's a boy so she is your daughter. She is very sick. Poo in my butt. Poo in my butt.

It's not all over yet but I do need to have a positive face to face interaction with someone outside of my family soon or things are gonna get real weird

I am literally not the world's least likeable and most annoying person and I know that because I have a family and also everyone wants to see my naked butt and my boobs. So I can't be

It's called boxing day because you're supposed to eat all the boxes and the paper from yesterday

Going to find a way to bring every one together this year hold on

Singing is EASY until there's any recording equipment nearby or a microphone or someone has just asked you to

The easiest job in the world is probably like, ad guy for a fizzy citrus fruit beverage. You can't improve on "person drinking from a can with their eyes shut in the sun" can you

Happy Christmas Cats

You cannot convince me a walnut is safe to eat, just look at it

Don't forget your Mothers' Christmas Treat this year!: finding John Die Hard sexy

People don't talk in movies anymore the way they talk in die hard?? Like hearing them do the Transatlantic accent in black and white movies?? Feels like I'm turning to dust???

There should be more karaoke around and I really, really mean it

Santa not really interested in talking to the children this year... He finds me simply enchanting...

Every time a YouTuber starts doing an ad read and I realise They're talking about a SEX VIBRATOR I feel a little bit scared for a second still. They can't do that! They don't know about that!

No!! Fuck!! It's Christmas eve and I forgot to Christmas post this whole time!!! Wanking off a toblerone I guess

Merry Christmas... Don't say I never give you anything

Every local cafe is making their own little Christmas hot chocolate with different toppings on it, and I think that's beautiful

Santa big guy pants Oh Sleigh

A boyfriend is just a Santa claus who lives in your house

Christmas teeth mistletoe and wreath

I can't sorry I'm Weird from Anxiety this holiday season

A lot of men genuinely believe themselves to be in a secret club where they speak and act completely differently around women, they think everyone is doing it and it's normal. Then they start resenting us because it is stressful to do that every day. It's good to be mean about it

Christmas is the perfect time to tell your family "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"