At the doctor's they should have like the pain scale but it's for your mental state on your period and it's got mr krabs freakin out, Toni Colette screaming etc

No a coherent thought converted into text is fine. I know how to do that. I've done it before

If you are bored this wednesday... I am eating a noisy ryvita and I will take care of you...

I’m the one they film playing all the mobile games unbelievably poorly for the ads; you cannot imagine what I’m like as a lover

Don't get even... Get mad in a way that makes you sexy

Why don't we all watch YouTube subliminals and manifest a better political climate? It couldnt hurt

I'm a much worse person when I have low self esteem so unfortunately for those of you who find my self aggrandisation unappealing- I am a popstar. I am ver y famous. Peopl copy my haircuts,

You would think there would be a crowd of thousands clamoring to bust in and do it with various weapons every hour of every day... Or a nice long queue for the Brits here

Watching incredibles 2 the other day caused me to start aggressively looking up waist training corsets

Open the flubgates

Okay everyone the jig is up, flowers just smell like wet girl grass or a mixed leaf lady salad and you know it

You are all here on my phone and I love you

Cranny boy truther

Hmm... Even Stevens on whether the moon should kill us

Hey if you need a place to crash can you do it at my place please??? We have a lot of DIY projects we won't finish without the threat of someone from outside seeing them

A moon that doesn't kill you

A moon that kills you

The moon should kill you... hmm... Or maybe, it shouldn't? Would we even go to tHe moon if it didn't kill you?

I'm quick to describe myself as stupid but I can be smart too providing nothing bad is happening to me and all the right conditions are met

As a mother I know how important it is to rest, which is why if my child does not wake me up before 7AM I lie awake imagining how awful it would be if she didn't wake up until she does

They are letting me join the next big music tour as famed girl group member "barbecue spice"

The day after Easter for breakfast you can stir some of your Easter chocolate into some porridge you're welcome #momlife #vegetables

They're saying you're posting for people who just got here. People who think you're the first person to do all those bits

Birdsong is actually always about the bird fetishes they have. They're all tooting off about bird inflation

Hang on guys I found something I want in life: I would like to see a bilby. And that big underwater statue in the Bahamas. So that's two things

Now is the perfect time to freak out about knowing what direction you want to take your life in. This is why you are sick. You have no focus!!! There is no time to rest!!!!!!

They don't let you be insane in real life the way they do on websites

Printing out the pfp of post stealers and nailing them to a pike outside my house...making t-shirts about it...

Several years ago a relative I'm not in contact with anymore shared an onion video in outrage and when informed about the whole onion thing replied "we don't have onion here" and there's gotta be something I could do with the recurring memory

We don't have he is risen here but I am embracing your culture

Was horny for a while but I'm cured now and only have thoughts about a beautifully laid table or a moist peach cobbler #clean #vegetables

Thank you for your patience as I pivot to tradwife content #vegetables

Who up preparing lunch

Boiling things in water, now isn't that just the strangest thing?

Potato is the only food

I had another dream I lived near snakeroot again but this time someone gave me a chocolate bar I could use if I wanted to kill him

Horribly sick this Easter but not letting it stop me from eating nothing but large chocolate eggs all day

My hips hurt and I feel very nauseous so thank you for being gentle with me at this time

I need to explain Easter eggs to you all

Don't love me for who I am girl I don't know that bitch... I'm good at providing a service

As our lives flash before the eyes of a fading micro blogging platform... Tomorrow I will go to see some bunny rabbits and write the clues for an Easter egg hunt with care... Somewhere someone will be brewing a coffee or brushing their long long hair

Join me in an extremely self indulgent stream where I eat mini eggs and provide you with CONTENT!

Rolling Credits on The Lovely Game grassyvalley.thecomi...

Sorry, I've only just learned that fax is short for facsimile. The facsimile machine. Are you kidding? It's like they were naming something they didnt think really existed

Accessing THE PAIN NEXUS tonight queen? (Opening a bag of jalapeno cheese flavour crisps you won't be able to stop eating)

waking up in a daze on the floor with a splitting headache but instead of empty bottles and cigarette cartons i'm surrounded by nerds rope wrappers

3yo just told me I needed to have more buttons on my top because otherwise my boobs might start crawling around

My full day of migraine has allowed me to see into another dimension and witness what I like to call- the decaying ooze which drips from every waiting human mouth and its volume is dependent on their level of greed. And it smells like meringue.

Some big hunks of roasted pepper would fuck right now