fell: boring stacked it: harsh took a tumble: beautiful, warm, implies the grace of an acrobat

doing like an AMA but everyone just asks me questions until you find the one question that i’ll answer

googling what are some things i might like

there is no purer form of magic to me than lighting a cigarette to make the bus come

i don’t want to wait until i’m dead to give myself to the worms. i want to give myself to the worms while i’m still alive and can still enjoy it

taking my pet skeleton out for a walk

what happened was someone got a bunch of paper and screwed it all up in a weird shape and scrawled some ink on it in shapes that kinda look like words but aren’t and then for some reason they zapped it with electricity and then i came to life

omgs it’s this guy!!!

yeah i’ve got a homunculus but he mostly just tells me when he wants a ham sandwich

good morning, time to make sure your teeth are clean and your claws are sharpened

been thinking about the practicalities of three-part beak since i sketched this guy several weeks ago. i think top part is for crunchy food and bottom part is for squidgy food. but i’m not sure

they’re coming to help

i am sorry to let you know that the angel of history has started eating history. they say it’s the only way forward from here. they are asking if you can eat a few decades too

the goats who stare at me

opening a hot hot soup shop. calling it the brothel

cognitive geesonance

delicious and piping hot from the kiln

okay time for the small creatures who hold my eyelids open all day to clock out

and the space became sky and the sky became water and the water became earth and the earth became growth and the growth became shoots and the shoots became leaves and the leaves became mouths and the mouths became small sounds in the undergrowth and the small sounds in the undergrowth became me

when i repost myself you should imagine me desperately and shamefully saying “this is a good post you guys please clap”. like really picture my shame and embarrassment

naming each and every one of my gut bacteria and telling them they’re my friends

Like so

“i was so happy to see you reading a book because i’m writing a book”

one thing i love is things being okay

if there’s one thing i love it’s walking into an ominous fog

turn that frown into the ground (earthworm motto)

words is something you can say or also write. you have options

probably my least favourite thing about having a moral opinion is when people attack you just for having a moral opinion and not even for the contents of that moral opinion

i’m the guy who makes it so that every single hotel shower in the world sprays all over the bathroom floor when you turn it on. i’m pure evil

successfully made 100 eminent scientists unsure about their ability to close a door 🫡

“you haven’t aged a day” “because i’m evil”

posting “i have read 32 books so far this year” as a cry for help

well hollow me out and fill me with sunlight

when you hit a dead end: that’s Claws Time

Do I have any big plans this weekend? Yes, I plan to ascend to a higher plane where I will murder and eat the gods.

gods i wish we had teleportation. so i didn’t have to pack this damn suitcase

“we create AI-powered synthetic audiences that instantly simulate real people” yeah well i create delightful puppets from socks that are far more human than you could ever understand

utopia? i hardly know a

dystopia? dattopia? how about youtopia deez nuts

life is just a long old process of slow cooking your own heart

[what i’m thinking as i walk past you in the street] oh hey, good face

going to space to pet the giant scorpion

angels singing actually sound exactly like foxes

look who it is!!!! it’s this guy!!!!!!

you’re never alone. there’s always bugs

a seedling grows from a seed, a sporeling grows from a spore, a mythling grows from a myth. all these processes require appropriate amounts of light and darkness, although myth germination appears to be the only one that requires conditions of knowledge to be correct too

well well well. looks like somebody forgot that everything on earth is holy

getting a long perfect curl like this pleases something deep in my soul

morning

sweeping up a million drifting dust gods. seems wrong to put them in the bin, somehow