sorry i can't go to that thing tonight. yeah im gonna be busy taking poison damage and cycling through the same three grunting sound effects. yeah.

Got real homesick for a snowy Pike's Peak Friday afternoon just now

This Easter celebrate with the Baltimore Oriole-exclusive sweet treat, Peep Alonsos

I'm adverse to this one

My Pet Monster ass shoes

I accidentally drew an alien golf bro today

future shreks / love sounds

BREAKING: The Supreme Court announces BALATRO DLC FEATURING CHARACTERS FROM THE INSANE CLOWN POSSE UNIVERSE with projected retail price of 45 USD$

"Strap in"? No thank you. My father was strangled by the strap while reading a particularly wild post. The science on safety restraints while reading Bluesky simply isn't there yet

shading the alien

Picture a gray alien in an red oversized knit polo shirt embroidered with the Coca Cola logo on the left breast. That image is now yours to keep

Find me here

Olympic theme goes "bing bong-bong bing bong-bong bing"

JEAN-LUC PICARD: Computer, play Hootie [pauses] and the Blowfish

yes, the wheels of justice are slow. agonizingly, excruciatingly slow. and oftentimes they miss or go off the tracks entirely. in fact most of the time. but occasionally, very infrequently, that big wheel of justice delivers theoretical remuneration for a handful of vested business interests

Suddenly remembered how much fun it was to watch Trailblazers-era Jerome Kersey dunk

🎶 Frosted Lucky Charms They're mildly suspicious 🎶

You arrive in Rivendell, first thing they do is offer you a burger

I too am attempting to lure bears to Indiana

Infuse BREAKFAST with SHARP GEM? [Y] [N]

Happy Friday

I'm on the seed oil diet. I "see" a seed and say "oil" have some of "dat"

They’re filming me in The Volume tomorrow

To all my followers on Mars, I hope today was super red and dusty

disney's resuscitated scrubs is in rude health

Apple pencil

I've been trying all morning to figure out what the nightmare fossil reminds me of, and I finally figured it out over lunch

I do not want to get into any kind of weightlifting. And that's on me. That's MY issue

Whipping a battery at my liege lord

The Power of Art episode about Van Gogh, which focuses on this painting, is incredible

Shop all curios

they do move in herds

God hates a coward, sonny

When I send the pain below, it's a lot like suffocating. Someone should write a song about this

Hey so do we know if the design of the Engineers in Prometheus is a direct reference to Da Vinci and Michelangelo drawings?

“Some say after midnight is too late for a man. I say otherwise.” - ABBA, in this weekend’s Observer

#InvertebrateShitposting as per @joabaldwin.com's request

"Orange Blossom Special"? Yes, of course. Every flower is a blessing from God

Austin Powers [guest starring on Firefly]: Reavers, baby! Yeah!

Don't the sun look angry through the trees? Don't the trees look like crucified thieves?

This is one of my all-time favorite songs. Impeccable, devastating lyrics

Legion was an uneven if at times exhilarating show. Remember the fight choreography to this song?

Do not say BREAKING to me. You are not Peter Jennings

Eating a "champ sandwich" (a normal sandwich but one made and consumed by me, a certified champ)

What's happening in 15 minutes?