guy who owns Hamster Dance dot com changing the default Hamsters setting to Hide

my brain every time the play by play announcer mentions Montreal Canadiens goaltender Jakub Dobeš

SPACEX DORK: Elon Musk gives me so much hope for mankind's beautiful future in space!! ELON MUSK: Dehumanize Yourself And Face To Bloodshed

dracula whirling his cape dramatically and splattering a bunch of mud all over the place cause he dragged it through a big puddle earlier when he was following women around at the park

guy who owns Hamster Dance dot com changing the default Hamsters setting to Hide

welcome to donkey kong country motherfucker

this must've been so annoying before computers

take mickey for example, with his huge 90th last year

this reply on r/disney to a thread called "A while ago I made a timeline of Goofy's life based off Goof Troop and the movies. I recently found it again and wanted to share." is the best shit i have ever read

I saw Gallagher perform a few years before he died, and he spent 80% of the show just complaining about his brother.

, a comedic performance

discovering that google ai struggles mightily on the topic of Gallagher 2

from first picture i wasn't sure but it's clear as day when you see him next to a couple props

tough couple weeks ahead for america's think tank consultants but i believe they will succeed in convincing each other that yesterday's elections clearly illustrate the political inviability of their winners' ideologies

right now MAGA guys are feeling sorta like Atlanta Falcons fans watching the fourth quarter of Super Bowl 51 and, as the Patriots make it a two score game with plenty of clock and all the momentum, starting to really regret some of the shit they were talking twenty minutes ago

i hope nobody ever uses the recovered footage from my doomed documentary filmmaking expedition to terrify and delight audiences worldwide

just started having recency bias and i love it. easily the best bias

i'm glad the Barenaked Ladies never got their hands on that million dollars... all the crap they were gonna do with it was so stupid and annoying. dijon ketchup. go fuck yourself

CNN ANCHOR: As President Trump's approval ratings drop, how can Democrats harness the protest movements we see today? HAKEEM JEFFRIES: Well I call him President Parachute Pants ok? Too much ballroom. Yet he's fumbling the ball of protecting healthcare. So I urge all Americans to obey federal agents.

sure maybe austin powers isn't being totally honest about that swedish made penis enlarger pump, but i still don't think there's anything to be gained by pressing the issue. honestly i don't see the benefit in listing his stuff aloud at all. just give him the crate. ok the book is pretty damning tho

people hear tech guys say their ethos is Move Fast and Break Things, they mentally add "in pursuit of Innovation" but no, breaking things is the means and the end. they move fast to get a spot under the next piñata, cause if you break the things these guys break, most times a lot of money falls out

ah but i am neither right nor left, you see, i believe the best solution for economic inequality is to further loosen remaining restraints on capitalist expansion, and LGBTQ people deserve ALL rights currently enjoying majority support among straight whites in an ongoing dynamic poll updated hourly

Very saddened to report that the entire earth, has exploded. RIP y'all it's been real ✌️

neo tokyo bout ta bust

no mr bond, i expect you to leave my fucking bar. we are closed. we've BEEN closed. you don't HAVE a drink to finish! nobody's served you in 2 hours. you're drinking minibottles from your jacket, just take em with you. they're yours. oh put your gun away, all the bullets are in my damn dart boards

i'm living rent free in your shed

Vote this guy out, Jesus Christ…

if my arch nemesis was building a fortified lair deep within an active volcano i'd just stand back and let it happen. hope you got a good HVAC guy my man

sure maybe austin powers isn't being totally honest about that swedish made penis enlarger pump, but i still don't think there's anything to be gained by pressing the issue. honestly i don't see the benefit in listing his stuff aloud at all. just give him the crate. ok the book is pretty damning tho

going insane because a computer said Dark City is real and i'm the main guy in it

i'm pickle rick. just kidding

sure clowns may make me laugh so hard all day with their big floppy shoes and outrageous wigs and colorful makeup, and yeah they dazzle children of all ages with amazing balloon animals and honk basically the funniest horns in the whole world, some of em even get out of a small car. forgot my point

about to ask for a raise even though he's only been working in the Keebler tree for six months

VOIGHT-KAMPFF TEST PROCTOR: The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that? HAKEEM JEFFRIES: i don't know man, why doesn't a snake do jumping jacks

this account is mainly jokes except sometimes i get exclusive excerpts of unaired cable news interviews with politicians. those ones are real. but they're secret. so don't bother trying to verify. sometimes the politician is in a famous movie. and the stuff they say is basically, almost comical

haven't heard from the dalai lama in a while... that little boy must've really done a number on his tongue

Time for @hakeem-jeffries.bsky.social to step aside. He's not up to the moment -- either be serious and scathing or humorous and scathing. This is a non-sensical, outdated, worthless reply. Not at all scathing. Go away, dude.

imagine how much it would've supercharged the CBS Evening News offense if he'd been Walter Gronkite

liam neeson: i have a very particular set of skills that make me a nightmare for people like you (full minute of phone phreaking noises) hi sorry, hey your call quality is amazing, what make and model phone do you have

CNN ANCHOR: As President Trump's approval ratings drop, how can Democrats harness the protest movements we see today? HAKEEM JEFFRIES: Well I call him President Parachute Pants ok? Too much ballroom. Yet he's fumbling the ball of protecting healthcare. So I urge all Americans to obey federal agents.

legen wait for it

i'm glad the Barenaked Ladies never got their hands on that million dollars... all the crap they were gonna do with it was so stupid and annoying. dijon ketchup. go fuck yourself

well my segments all fuckin fell apart again so it's another floor day for me. love my parents but they cheaped out huge with this modular build. splurged on a custom seamless job for my sister but a couple years later it's suddenly not worth it anymore. and so now i'm a big mess in the living room

i've never actually seen The Passion of the Christ but i cherish my Chinese bootleg dvd

if i was scott adams i'd use my incredibly powerful brain to defeat what i would call cancbert

They took the ephedrine out of diet pills and the dxm out of cough syrup and they added bitter flavor to duster and morning glory seeds and then they complain that nobody is going to the store enough

know how sometimes when you put two dumb dogs together they sort of create a feedback loop of encouragement to do stupid shit that they both know they're not supposed to be doing... forgot where i was going with this..... oh, right. don't let cops hang out with horses