The Samson family at home

“Oh, is that so? … Well, if there’s anything I hate worse than a big, stupid carrot, it’s a big, stupid banana!”

“Somethin’s up, Jed. … That’s Ben Potter’s horse, all right, but ain’t that Henry Morgan’s chicken ridin’ him?”

“Hey, wait a minute! This is grass! We’ve been eating grass!”

“You ever get that urge, Frank? It begins with looking down from 50 stories up, thinking about the meaninglessness of life, listening to dark voices deep inside you, and you think, ‘Should I? … Should I?  … Should I push someone off?’”

Primitive man discovers tools.

“Ben—what d’ya say we turn the power off for a while and let the little guy roam around?”

“My God, Carlson! After years of searching, this is an emotional moment for me! … Voilà! I give you the Secret Elephant Breeding Grounds!”

Fortunately, both Ali and his camel knew to take refuge during a desert Spam storm.

Red Cloud’s ultimate nightmare

“Shoot! You not only got the wrong planet, you got the wrong solar system! … I mean, a wrong planet I can understand—but a whole solar system?”

Final page of the medical boards

Hominid reconstructions

“Now wait just a minute here. … How are we supposed to know you’re the real Angel of Death?”

“Get ’em up there!”

“Whoa! That was a good one! Try it, Hobbs—just poke his brain right where my finger is.”

New Age construction workers

Ironically, Barnum’s and Bailey’s respective kids—Sid and Marty—both ran away one night to join corporate America.

“Egad! … What a hideous creature!”

God makes the snake.

“The white whale! The whiiiiiiite wh … no, no … my mistake! … A black whale! A regular, blaaaaaack whale!”

“Wait a minute, gentlemen. … Here’s the ‘on’ switch over here.”

“Well, that cat’s doing it again—keeping that poor thing alive just to play with it awhile.”

“Uh-oh, Lenny … it’s the slimelord.”

Jurassic parking

“By Jove, Andrew! … It’s just like being the heroes of some football game!”

How to draw cartoons

In their final year, all research science students are required to take one semester of Maniacal Laughter.

Indispensable workers on any porcupine ranch, these amazing dogs will sometimes run across the backs of their charges.

“He told you that? Well, he’s pulling your flagellum, Nancy.”

“Well, I’ll be! Eggbeater must have missed that one.”

“The fool! … He’s on the keyboard!”

In their final year, all research science students are required to take one semester of Maniacal Laughter.

In their sibling’s shadow

“I asked you a question, buddy. … What’s the square root of 5,248?”

“Oh my God, Bernie! You’re wearing one of my nylons?”

“A one more time! … HEY! I’ve been workin’ on the railroad, all the live-long day, HEY! I’ve been …”

“Whoa! Whoa! C’mon, you guys! This is just a friendly game of cards—ease up on those acid-filled beakers.”

Inside a nuclear power plant

Anthro horror films

“Well, thank God we all made it out in time. … ’Course, now we’re equally screwed.”

Dinnertime for the young Wright brothers

“Frankie! When didja get out? … Gee, I bet you been sittin’ in da cage wonderin’ where me and da loot wuz!  … Oh, Frankie, Frankie … heh heh heh … Want some coffee, Frankie?”

“I tell you he’s up there! … Those wild, sunken eyes! That horrid wooden leg! … And he’s looking for me!”

“Don’t encourage him, Sylvia.”

Superman in his later years