“Oh, my word, Helen! You play, too? … And here I always thought you were just a songbird.”

“Hey! They’re edible! … This changes everything!”

“Egad! … It’s got most of Uncle Jake!”

“Hey! They’re lighting their arrows! ... Can they do that?”

Vera looked around the room. Not another chicken anywhere. And then it struck her—this was a hay bar.

Ant games

“Tell me, Margaret. ... Am I a butthead?”

“C’mon, Sylvia … where’s your spirit of adventure?”

“According to the map, this should be the place—but it sure don’t look right to me. … Well, we’re supposed to die around here somewhere.”

“Hey! I got one! I got one!”

“Crimony! Kevin’s oozing his way up onto the table. … Some slugs have a few drinks and just go nuts!”

Carl had never had so much fun in his whole life, and he knew, from this moment on, that he would never again be a lone pine tree.

“Gee, whiz … you mean I get a third wish, too?”

“Oh, hey! Fantastic party, Tricksy! Fantastic! … Say, do you mind telling me which way to the yard?”

“Well, look who’s here. … God’s gift to warthogs.”

“Okay, guys, let’s move in on those three heifers in the corner. … Bob, you take the ‘Triple R,’ Dale, you take the ‘Circle L,’ and I’ll take the ‘Lazy Q.’”

“Polly wanna cracker. ... Polly wanna cracker. ... Pretty bird. ... HARRY! DON’T SHOOT! ... Pretty bird.”

“Raaaaaaaaaaxphooooooooorg!”

Carl shoves Roger, Roger shoves Carl, and tempers rise.

Practical jokes of the Paleolithic

“Okay now, listen up! … First, I want all the car-chasers over here!”

The termite queen in her egg chamber

“Irwin, you’re nothing but a spineless, slimy, gelatinous blob. … There, I’ve finally said it.”

“Get, you rascal! Get! … Heaven knows how he keeps getting in here, Betty, but you better count ’em.”

“Well, shucks! I’ve lost again! Talk about your alien luck!”

“It’s still hungry … and I’ve been stuffing worms into it all day.”

If pets wore hats: a study in animal personalities and styles

“And I’ve only one thing to say about all these complaints I’ve been hearing about … Venison!”

“Oh yeah? More like the three wise guys, I’d say.”

“These little ones are mice. … These over here are hamsters. … Ooh! This must be a gerbil!”

Practical jokes of the wild

“Neanderthals, Neanderthals! Can’t make fire! Can’t make spear! Nyah, nyah, nyah!”

“You eat your dirt, Billy. You want to grow up as big and slimy as your dad, don’t you?”

“Hey! You kids! … Can’t you read?”

“Am I glad you boys came along! ... My horse seems to have come up lame.”

“Well, when it’s my turn, I just hope I go quietly. … You know—without a lot of running around.”

Inexplicably, Bob’s porcupine goes flat.

“Look. We know how you did it—how is no longer the question. What we now want to know is why. … Why now, brown cow?”

“You know, I used to like this hobby. ... But shoot! Seems like everybody’s got a rock collection.”

Anteaters of the future

Hit elephants

Where the buffalo cruise

“It’s Bob, all right ... but look at those vacuous eyes, that stupid grin on his face—he’s been domesticated, I tell you.”

The morning dew sparkled on Bill’s web. The decoys were in place, his fly call was poised, and luck was in the air.