Beef Sweepings for supper 😋

take a minute and imagine the beautiful world that could exist if all of the tech losers wasting their time on AI stuff focused instead on building a really fat robot

it’s goated how lit crashing out is

I’m glad those ostriches are dead. Not an acceptable size of bird.

Saturday is the Monday of the weekend.

If you take a crap as soon as you get home from work, that’s your body crapping out the negative energy you accumulated from working

eric rahill

It still talks in negative parallelisms even when it’s telling you to commit suicide

What’s up with that painting that says it isn’t a pipe. Pretty obviously a pipe. Dumbass “artist”

One thing I miss being on Bluesky is occasional ambient LindyMan posts. Seeing that little scribble guy and wondering if it’ll be “People have drank coffee for 5,000 years. They’ll be drinking it for 5,000 more,” or “Women have a chemical in their brains that makes them not understand democracy.”

I just want all women on this website to know that I would never write a New York Times op-ed suggesting that they ruined the workplace. And that my DMs are open.

Let's all rally together and gamble on ESPN Bet! Let's show them how much this fanbase cares! #saveESPNBet

You never like to hear that your little weird hobby thing is being undone by the laws of physics.

I hate a slew of anything

(crouching in front of a dog tied up outside a coffee shop) who are they to restrain you? what right do they have? what laws have you broken? can the jailor ever truly know a prisoner's heart? (releasing the dog and it runs directly into traffic) ah divine judgment, fickle fate

>> scan -wordcount /patrick/meals/logs/2025/q1/wendys.doc .. .. >> wordcount = 71,386 >> scan -wordfind:”toothsome” .. .. >> 688 results

Make sure you’ve got a pair of 3D glasses for tomorrow’s ep of The Alan Dershowitz Show

New Yorkers be like “Let me get a Mayor… the Ocky way!” © partnardy.bsky.social 2025 do not steal 2025 do not repost without express permission do not share in DMs 2025 do not print out and post in your cubicle at work 2025

The radical left Democrats, they told me, “Don’t fuse the nuclear bomb with the maggot, you can’t do that!” I did it. I fused them, I’m actually the first to do this by the way, and it’s tremendous, the explosions go Boom-Boom-Boom, and we get a little bonus for clearing the board, don’t we folks?

disco elysium-ass sky rn

Cheney’s death is gonna fuck up No Nut November for a lot of people. Not me, though. Nothing could make me nut at this juncture.

(Guy who confuses Dick Cheney with Mr. Feeny) Mr. Feeny killed a lot of people and I’m glad he’s dead

Crazy stuff. Hard to believe it’s true. Didn’t think it was possible for a guy to be named “Dick.” That’s the name of the penis!

If you run an online casino please hire me to invent a slot machine futures contracts engine and let’s turn up the heat on this fuckin collapse

anybody got that tweet about how being a Marxist is all about reading about the financial times then muttering something about Brussels then just going to your normal job

Still need more baseball? We found a CD in our archives containing dozens of unused voice lines from MLB Slugfest 20-03 rejected by the MLB. Here's some of our favorites.

Already kinda dark when I got off work today, bummer. Good thing it won’t be that way tomorrow or for the next several months

I need to know how much total money canadians lost betting on the jays

Game over time to watch post10 unclog some shit

Let’s all kill ourselves

The baseball should have poison on it and do 1HP damage per second to anyone that touches it.

More than anything guys in the dugout love using the phone. And hell I love using the phone too

Instead of candy, I’m letting each trick-or-treater submit one ChatGPT prompt. We need to move away from unhealthy snacks and towards more kids in STEM.

Candy does seven things—it relieves your hunger, quenches your thirst, fills your stomach, cleans your teeth, makes you sleep, helps you digest, and colors your cheeks.

Saw Batman jacking off in an alley. Not a Halloween thing

I need to see a compilation of all the times it too-forcefully gripped a glass and blasted shards everywhere

“It is only when we start to learn to know how to understand, that we realize the wisdom of our ideas.” - Thinker’s Credo

Man Wouldn't Have Worn Costume To Work If He'd Known He Was Getting Laid Off

tranche me a beer bro

“One night I got fucked in my ass by an elephant. How both myself and an elephant got into my ass I’ll never know.” - Groucho Marx

Tomorrow gonna be fucking insane for posting “we needed it.”

All over the internet, nay — all over the world! People are going viral. Could you be next?

No officer, I am not “digging up graves with a shovel.” I’m pushing back against the deathist status quo.

we need a Leonard Cohen biopic starring Adam Sandler where he sings all the songs

clipping your fingernails with one of these just hits different

poll time. when youre at a urinal do you: 🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦 (68%) fully drop pants, do a 180, and thread a poop out of wiener slot 🟦🟦🟦🟦 (24%) use elastic waistband to hold penis in place while peeing straight up 🟦 (8%) results plz | | | | Da Normalcy Enjoyer @normalscott 24% of y’all are not human lol