Somebody Done Killed The Grinch

Completely tone-deaf shit. What if I grew up in Whoville? Might as well be selling a Quarter Hitler with Cheese. Why don’t you Hitler Size my fries while you’re at it

liberals are like "we should have a mindful conversation with the Grinch about stakeholders and equity" he's the grinch! he's stealing your christmas presents! kill him!

Pipe Rock Theory is a Christmas movie

I've watched the Garfield Christmas special every year for like the last 35 years and I’m still no closer to deciphering Grandma’s line about how when she was younger “all they had were wood-burning cats.”

Pretty much everybody who interacts with Mr. Bean would be fully in the right to shoot him in the back of the head.

Fans of Christmas are in for a treat tomorrow

Alright, so Tiny Tim wasn’t dead. Great, thanks. He’s absolutely dead now, so knock it off

Found out AJ and Big Justice have been hanging out with a new rizz-based child. Didn’t take it well. Threw everyone’s Christmas presents in a river

Thought I was watching A Pimp for Christmas (2022) but I'd actually put on The Christmas Pimp (2024).

move over, baby shoes never worn

(blows past you in a two-horse covered sleigh; just absolutely smokes yer ass)

uptempo major-key remake of The Gift where Waldo mails himself to Marsha on Christmas and she’s happy to see him and he doesn’t die from metal shears

Firing up the Grinch Juice machine for a little festive treat 😋

I'm uploading the video of the banned CBS segment right here. Feel free to share.

Ho Ho Ho! The banks are out of money!

the MKULTRA guys’ main takeaway from everyone learning about MKULTRA was “don’t make MKULTRA a big secret next time”

I’m usually a generous 10% tipper but if my waiter isn’t getting monthly STI tests I have no problem dropping it down to an honorable 5%.

Jurassic park unrealistic as hell. You know a treat boy like Nedry’s not gonna sell those embryos to anyone he’s gonna slurp em down in his jeep

Tis the season youtu.be/_c7ddbZuyVI?...

(millennial alarm clock) alarming is so difficult y’all

That insane feel when your brush your are teeth <

Christmas is the festive time of the holiday occasion of the celebration of the peaceful lights of magic of the year

the traditional Christmas “just kind of looking at a box and wrapping paper for a few solid minutes having completely forgotten how to wrap or know out how much paper it takes to wrap stuff and eventually inventing geometry from first principles”

can I get a Big Mac Tea with two sugars

a second Bob Honey has just do stuff

Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff

> be me > nigel > they start making plans for me 🤦‍♀️

Got some bad news. That wasn’t the shooter. That’s just my dead guy I have to keep in a storage unit because SOMEONE said we needed to make room for SOMEONE’S crib

We don’t know for sure it’s Woody Allen. That could be anybody

alarming number of Google searches for “buy child online for $1,776 or less” coming from the Fort Bragg area

Presents of Christmas: Legacy of Gifts

other TV shows no longer make sense to me after watching The Shield. why doesn’t Carol Plurbus solve her weird hive mind problems by simply manufacturing a gang war between Mexicans and Armenians

𝗹𝘂𝘃𝗺𝘆𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗵𝗯𝗯 asked 2 years ago lobotomized my grinch but now he's constantl;y freaking out running around and crashing into tables? 7 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴 - 𝘚𝘶𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘺 & 𝘔𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐀𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ You need to cut them before the triple cardiomegaly hits or it will not have the intended effect. 𝗰𝘂𝗱𝗱𝗹𝘆𝗰𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝘀𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗲𝗿

stanced up like Don Pratt

Don’t show me a photo of a dead man’s tree in an empty winter field. Don’t show that to me

it’s important to sleep in a shirt with a neck so worn out you resemble khalid sheikh mohammed

can't believe this is how Vic finds out (spoilers for The Shield finale)

Nothing better than googling some dipshit who sends you a dumbass email and finding out he has a stupid mustache and looks like an idiot

if you ask me if your order will get there before christmas i’m gonna flatten you out and blow some air in your ears

surgery textbook lobotomy youtube lobotomy youtube self-lobotomy cheap alternative to scalpel knitting needles near me cheap alternative to knitting needles shish kebab skewers price shish kebab skewers near me shish kebab restaurant near me shish kebab doordash

saw a huge V of geese getting the hell out of dodge this morning. honk on fellas

I hope Santa brings me swag for Christmas. And I hope he stuffs my stocking full of lit bussin.

They’re filing me away

Can you kick in ten bucks for Martha in accounting? She got flayed. It’s fine if you don’t want to, but, I mean, she got flayed, and we want to do something nice for her. We’ll sign a card too.

once again I am reading the classic submission wrestler’s insane guide to cutting weight post

Glad they released a trove of Epstein photos. If they had released a tranche instead I’d have fucking killed myself

I love forces but I hate when they are set in motion