What if a judge played golf

Let’s just say grandma has more cut glass dishes than she knows what to do with

I’d like to know is it ethically “ok” to not tell anyone you found a hundred dollar bill on the floor of your grandma’s apartment

Who can I clown on from current events..

Jim Carey wants to do spirituality sooooooo bad. lol tough luck Ace

I’m going to double down on some ill advised replies later

They’re all from Indiana… all of them…

“Boom Boom Boom Boom” is John Lee Hooker’s thesis statement about noises

Follow the money ….

Green is the classic slime color

If only my grandma had Ai to open up the pickle jar for her

Jim Carey is working on a more dramatic role

This week’s sign of the apocalypse: Greg Norman hit a drive out of bounds and knocked open the 7th seal

For some reason the name Digimon stuck with my dad but not Pokemon

Ai just made me a lasagna

Wyler's has had decades to develop a guy who can defeat Kool Aid man in hand to hand combat. Yet they still have nothing?

2 things can be true at the same time

i challenge you to do worse. Let's make the world worse

Wyler’s lost the powdered drink mix battle. But it plans to win the war.

Have you seen this guy?

my names ozymandias and im here to say, look upon my works in a major way

I am covered in glory myself

I think they’re saying some moderately bad things in Louie Louie but nothing to worry about too much

I have a shoes on in the house waiver I carry around from my doctor

You want to know my secret? It’s all incredibly sad

Spent 15 minutes looking at all the different Luna bar flavors and imagining how good they would taste then choked down a protein bar for men and went to sleep

No

Trillion dollar idea: a tennis shoe that you can not spill apple juice on. Under any circumstance.

Does Bad Bunny have even a single song about football or the NFL

I have group chats now. It’s called my living room and all my stuffies I set up to talk to!

congratulations on training an AI using my posts. enjoy being killed by your surgery robot that keeps disemboweling ingrown toenail patients on its never ending quest to touch jay leno's tonight show money 👍

There should be an entity

We should make celebrities play softball again.

It’s Janice’s birthday on Thursday. Should we get her a cake? Would a loaf work? To save money? Building a new internet is expensive.

I’ve been doing Duolingo and now I can say “I left a quid on the lorry.”

Day 1 explaining the Birkin bag tweet to my parents. Back at it again 9:00 am tomorrow!

if it took a super bowl commercial to tell you Ring cameras are evil you’re ngmi

evil bazooka joe

Handsome strangers have the right to absentmindedly shed their shirt and add it to the wash in nearly empty laundromats without being leered at!

[fans jeering loudly] Modern day Bob Dylan: I do believe you. This is the way things have been going for some time now. [turning to Robbie Robertson] Play normal!

He’s called 2pac because there are 2 of him (vocals are layered twice)

(It’s Genius)

Tag yourself

They’re releasing me into the wild

I have now switched over to Pepsi. Nice ads!

Boomers coulda used some boomer rock tonight. Aren't the Stones still alive?

If Nikola Jokic won the Super Bowl he'd probably be pretty bored about it

The Ai generated commercials look uncanny and make me feel crazy. I think they're working..

Stefon Diggs 1st down celly super bowl LX down 16 Stefon Diggs 1st down celly super bowl LX down 22