Budweiser spaghetti

a man shan't hoot so freely. we mustn't hoot so

names for a man in a car King of Motor Speed David (if David) He, Entombed King of Drive

she seems to have a divisible lunch yeah she's got a tray with small compartments for sides

he's got a Philbin ability to give a million bucks to me

she seems to crab a rangoonable touch yeah she reaches out and crabs rangoon of your heart

waking up from a nap where I dreamed I made this. and now I have made it

Mussorgsky? more like you "must go see" those pictures at the exhibition!

reading this felt like falling down an escher staircase

I should learn to draw boobie ladys

equinox witchcraft: I was thinking about Chuck Norris this morning

Hooking my sybian up to a UPS in case of an outage

if she was Artemis, Princess of Wales, she would've survived the crash

Nine of your business

shirt that says "if you can read this i fell off the bidet"

venmo is short for venerable mother

Southland Tales is the only movie stupid enough to actually be prophetic about 2026

If you live in Illinois’s 9th District, please vote for Kat Abughazaleh. You still have time, this hour and the next, to make a difference in what should be quite close, so go vote, and maybe take someone else with you.

If he's going to get a national profile on the strength of a younger woman's campaign, I'm going to come out and say it: during his short-lived tenure as a math professor, Biss had an inappropriate romantic relationship with one of his undergraduate students. I was that student.

Civilisation has been in a moral and artistic nosedive ever since they made it possible to play as Bowser in Mariokart, and win races for evil

Happy Feast of St. Gertrude of Nivelles, patron saint of cats.

late to the party but started blue prince today. it's good.

👇🎯 The key to solving ~every 21st century policy problem in 🇺🇸 is primarily just re-adopting 20th century policy solutions (immigration, higher marginal tax rates, more public investment) that we discarded/did not extend to everyone because of either Reaganism, racism, or some combination thereof.

Downloading the entire Croods franchise over the free wifi at the hockey hall of fame

pay certain shit no heed, traveler

Sun Tzu (D-NY) - “When your enemy is making a mistake, fix it for him at great cost to yourself.”

I used to love computer it was my friend. Now I have hate in my heart

Pretty crazy how important the blockade of a trade route is right now

Newtonian Figsics

Three Stanford Law Professors Used AI to Close "The Air Bud Loophole" - Here's What It Means For Iran

Dave Seville donated $139,000 of the chipmunk money to a MAGA PAC

I'm serving cunt in Cedar Rapids!

The NYT style guide

Thinking about this quote from Persepolis creator Marjane Satrapi again.

There should be an Earth for people who don't hate all living things

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to bomb this elementary school full of kids because he thinks it makes him look cool. also his scheming viziers will be betting money on it for fun. good luck soldier

listening to Duel of the Fates at 9% volume and going bonkers

in the business, the handshake is known as "Greeter's Gold"

Q: What do you call an architect's kid at an ivy league school? A: A truss fund baby :o)

Rev. Jesse Jackson's "I *am* somebody..." remains one of the all-time great pieces of 20th century rhetoric / agitprop And he could deliver it at a Black separatist meeting, the Democratic National Convention, or on god-blessed Sesame Street (see below 🥹) RIP to the Voice of the Voiceless

a clip of actress elle fanning pronouncing the name of beloved dragonball character vegeta as "ve-ghee-ta" (from the audiobook for "margo's got money troubles")

I need about 5 pieces of help

Eating a single check mick

I'm not believing this until I hear from people in the streets of MN and neither should you

Lord I see what you've done for others, namely Sodom & Gomorrah,

Was frantically tapping the sound button on this and realized the audio was playing in my fiancé’s AirPods downstairs. He heard the music and came upstairs because he thought I “was watching Lord of the Rings,” and I had to grimly turn my phone toward him as an animatronic pig jawed silently

My whole crew has gone tonfa crazy and you can’t even have a conversation without it getting interrupted by tonfa tricks and just generally twirling that shit around dangerously. Half of them have self inflicted mouth and chin wounds and it’s changed our style of talking

in 2027 they made drawing a cartoon arse illegal. my open-mouthed face stolen from a discord ID check appeared on everyone's screens with ARSE PREDATOR written under it. I was arrested in 0.5 seconds because an AI smelled me buying a microwave burger and followed me home through nest cameras