my brain thinking: the united states is run by a thieving cabal of pedophiles who want everyone stupider and sicker and they’re killing millions of people what i say instead: hawk tuah SILENT on clavicular being frame mogged and having his cortisol SPIKED

Content craters

I’m keeping my nose clean

My diet is primarily glob-based

Woe would never betide me

Readit

Becoming anaerobic

The oil him pecs

Ok, fine. I’ll try Clubhouse

Can’t wait to get home and wallow in my sty

I’m on the world stage

It’s impossible to tell if nonhuman animals experience emotions but I know for certain my computer cries when I log off

Working from the computer today

Mess status: blessed

My stock portfolio depends upon the boogedyman being real so I must implore right-thinking people everywhere…don’t look under the bed

Recipe: The Brown Apple Prep Time: 0 minutes ⏲️ Ingredients: • 1 potato

It’s illegal to frighten me

Don’t throw out you candy bar wrappers, save them in the freezer for making stock

Thank you for your service

Hope my haters like being torn to ribbons by powerful ki blasts.

The ol’ hymn pigs

They’ll imp eggs

Teal and pics

Activating the nudity center of my brain

I’m in the book

I’ve ingested poison 🫢

Create shortcut to ‘Nurbsy’ on the desktop?

Just discovered having a little treat

emails really are evil mail...........

I wish he would lessissey

Hamster bottle of hershey’s syrup

The of limb picks

There should be an entity

Doing ninja shit

They should make weekends real

Ate a mega stuf oreo yesterday and when I woke up I’d done six loads of laundry

The Subpar Bowl

This bowl is not that super to me

If you want to check out a book these days you have to slip a twenty to a dog. They beaglized library

I’m on the map

A complete protein is one that provides all four essential humours

Weird Twitter Map

Bed buggy

Who’s lubed up for the gooner bowl

I have the super bowl scaries

There’s a new article in the new york times

I have it on good authority there will be a new commercial during today’s big game. You’re not going to want to miss this

John Wick: Origins prequel where he meets his wife, gets married, buys his car, adopts his dog, and becomes an assassin all on the same day

Dreamed I had a ratty little Marty Supreme mustache and the clippers broke when I tried to shave it off