josh (oldfriend99)
@oldfriend99.bsky.social
📤 6810
📥 780
📝 1032
not real boreal
pinned post!
My barber forgot to cut my hair. I had to go back
6 months ago
7
389
36
reposted by
josh (oldfriend99)
Electric Chimp
about 6 hours ago
in french they call drinking water "the little drowning"
4
155
22
This was a rabbit hole I went down while tripping on 4.67 grams of magic mushrooms, 24.9 mg of psilocybin. The dose used in modern clinical trials.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 6 hours ago
1
58
2
Jandek turned 80 a little while back
about 6 hours ago
1
10
0
Thinking about David Lynch and getting something in my eye
about 12 hours ago
6
41
0
"Bird seed" is actually somewhat of a misnomer, as anyone can eat the seed.
about 14 hours ago
12
243
22
No use crying over spilled milk. you gotta cry about it while it's still in the glass
about 16 hours ago
1
80
5
Don't panic if you find yourself watching a movie. it will be over soon
about 17 hours ago
4
198
37
Getting upset watching E.T. because he's always wanting to go "home" — never to work
about 20 hours ago
9
174
10
reposted by
josh (oldfriend99)
Heimlich never saw a penny for his maneuver. But he didn't do it for the money. He did it to hump people
3 days ago
3
310
37
I set up my thermostat so that if it gets below a certain temperature, the heat turns on.
1 day ago
22
283
21
Sarah jessica parker is an anagram of Sarah jerassic parke
1 day ago
4
194
13
He hasn't been seen or heard from since this happened. No one knows where he is
add a skeleton here at some point
1 day ago
7
81
7
The simpsons should have never left the Tracey Ullman show. that was groening's first mistake..
3 days ago
7
66
1
A good prank would be to hand someone a can of soda upside-down. When they crack it open, it will spill all over their legs 😂🤣
3 days ago
5
160
7
To me, after the second clown gets out of the clown car the gag stops being funny
3 days ago
7
166
10
"Hemorrhoids" sounds so clinical. Just say "ass situation"
3 days ago
8
157
9
Shakespeare wrote that life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.. which may be true, but it's perfect for us "sound and fury" heads
3 days ago
2
73
3
Friendly reminder the Sunday funnies are meant to be read over the whole week. If you finish them all on Sunday you have nothing to look forward to
3 days ago
3
72
2
The new Kill Bill just looks like a rip-off of the first two
3 days ago
4
75
3
If you're not using AI in your posts by now, you're dumb. AI is the future when it comes — to posts.
3 days ago
9
197
6
Dan aykroyd has given up on trying to get Coneheads 2 made and is now concentrating his efforts on Coneheads 3
3 days ago
2
92
5
Used to be fun over there
3 days ago
5
120
1
I was hoping whatever was bursting out of the guy's chest in Alien would be something nice
3 days ago
34
1062
119
"And will you be dining for sustenance or pleasure this evening?" How about that's none of your business
3 days ago
4
89
6
Heimlich never saw a penny for his maneuver. But he didn't do it for the money. He did it to hump people
3 days ago
3
310
37
I have a very small mouth. I actually have to use a children's kazoo
4 days ago
3
78
1
Doing a gofundme for my buddy E.T. who's sick
4 days ago
8
130
7
They worldbuilt Christmas
4 days ago
8
120
9
Whore you, the apostrophe police?
4 days ago
6
419
70
It is only after fully watching a comedy, when i've had a chance to carefully review my notes and weigh all the options, that i will then choose the funniest gag and laugh at it
4 days ago
2
102
4
Mr Grabs is the perfect name for the guy, because he "grabs" all the money he can get his strange hands on
4 days ago
2
180
15
I dropped 75lbs on jenny craig and she died
4 days ago
8
299
38
Thought my doctor said anvil when he told me to take an advil and now my headache is even worse
5 days ago
5
164
12
This is what they took from you
5 days ago
75
6586
1779
"I have one of those faces" — Ed Gein
5 days ago
2
151
8
You just tucked in the wrong guy
5 days ago
3
481
48
RIP Lon Chaney
7 days ago
8
138
18
The "Kubrick stare" ruined staring at your friends and family like this
9 days ago
8
578
49
Honestly a lot of the pies stolen from windowsills were probably taken by animals and not area children. It was a kind of moral panic
9 days ago
6
168
13
So Connect 4 pieces are called "checkers". as if the game wasn't confusing enough already..
9 days ago
3
99
5
My friend is a triple threat. he can do three things
9 days ago
2
111
7
You'd have to be a fool to go along on something called "Franklin's lost expedition"
9 days ago
9
144
6
Turning this off. i thought this was supposed to be about an escape from alcatraz..
9 days ago
18
1019
92
I never really understood the appeal of climbing Mount Everest until i found out there's a bunch of dead bodies up there
10 days ago
11
353
35
A good way to meet new people is to hang out by a garbage can
10 days ago
8
215
29
A family embarks on a cruise with Captain Ron
10 days ago
3
39
0
My dad has very thick hair, and i have very fine hair, so it's hard to find a hair style that works for both of us
10 days ago
2
171
3
It's been two years since The Beatles dropped their last single "Now and Then". Let's go guys!
10 days ago
3
47
0
I'm doing E (the guitar chord)
10 days ago
4
67
2
Cheryl Hines should have taken her husband's name and become Cheryl Hines Junior
10 days ago
2
184
14
Load more
feeds!
log in