it's a normal thing. to do.

hit me with your truck daddy

been trying to calculate how many Sherlock Holmes pastiches I've read, it must be at least a thousand

i dont know what everyone is excited about but i am probably very happy for you

tgif:

getting my pussy ate by goblins

i am the only single person at the company i work for. prolly because I'm a genius or something

racing around the globe in a hot air balloon shaped like your dad's dick

i wish i was a good-for-nothing fuckwit so that i could afford healthcare and groceries

the most lonesome pussy in the west (no pic)

stars don't actually "twinkle" it just appears that way because they are fucking gay as hell

how do y'all feel about the fragrance I've been wearing the last couple of months?

[winter] shorts all year guy: let's go to walmart

garbageman gave me my garbage grade for the week: B+ ?? says it would have been an A but there wasn't a pizza box in it??? it was in the recycling bro

we should all jokingly threaten to kill each other so that they ban the whole site and we are set free

dumpster fire, dumpster wind, dumpster earth, dumpster water

and when there was only one set of footprints, that was when i was taking a dump while on the clock

it makes me uncomfortable when people in porn make sustained eye contact

racing around the globe in a hot air balloon shaped like your dad's dick

gonna keep getting gabapentin refills while it's covered even tho i don't need it anymore. maybe the squirrels will like it

we should all jokingly threaten to kill each other so that they ban the whole site and we are set free

You can't enter cryosleep to travel to a distant ocean planet, use cloning technology to seed a new whale population, then open a 19th century whaling experience theme park planet anymore. Because of woke

Ordering two 150lb dumbbells online bc Im in a fight with my mailman

and when there was only one set of footprints, that was when i was taking a dump while on the clock

i am the only single person at the company i work for. prolly because I'm a genius or something

i bet I'd be a really good philosopher if i was smart

hell yeah let's all post about the shit that sucks and makes everyone miserable

gun flavored toothpaste for Men

it makes me uncomfortable when people in porn make sustained eye contact

Grassy Fear 🇫🇷 grassyvalley.thecomi...

ya I’ll send bug report: they got lot of legs look at them go 🎃

They want $60 for an hour at the axe throwing place? For that money I can buy a case of beer and my own axe, and throw it at whatever I want until I'm arrested again

things have really turned around for me ever since i became isolated and weird

Briefly considered posting something political and topical but then I got the idea for ‘Moon Rustlers’, a series of novellas in which a lone cowboy named Colton McKittrick melts down silver bullets into gauntlets so he can punch werewolves to death.

i bet I'd be a really good philosopher if i was smart

i walked to evening prayer as the sun set and afterward walked home beneath the stars if anyone needs a faithful medieval wife with big titties

mute 2 words to silence the entire timeline challenge: easy

no no the toymaker is geppetto pinocchio is geppetto’s monster

sorry i’m not taking any visitors

i like it when a professional street skateboarder is as old as i am

leaving a Giant wooden soldier outside the kentucky derby and surprise! motherfuckers; it's full of horses

the dog poops a lot more than i do but i pee a lot more so it's hard to say who wins

i walked to evening prayer as the sun set and afterward walked home beneath the stars if anyone needs a faithful medieval wife with big titties

hey y’all. we found out today that Charlie’s car is gone, most likely stolen (we have filed a report for it, etc) i’m sharing this out to help Charlie catch a break if possible, we’re prepping to move right now so any help is appreciated 🫶 shares are appreciated too. 🖤

My tonsils fell out naturally

Youtube video opens with me fully nude, soaked in sweat, crosslegged, hunched over in front of $127k in audio equipment. Im too hunched up for you to see my penis but it would somehow be less obscene if you could Hey guys, throw me a like and subscribe and lets get started

B2B expert (Buddy to Buddy)

the dog poops a lot more than i do but i pee a lot more so it's hard to say who wins

had a crazy dream that my skateboard was shaped slightly different