cheese stick accessory

I wrote a cool thing at work today that created a map showing the mean and z-score for grass/brush fires to highlight counties where there were significant increases in the last week

I had the sudden impulse to buy some of those mediocre Archway brand cookies while I was at the store. My mom used to buy them a lot, and I guess I had a hankerin'. Anyway, it made me look at their wikipedia page and apparently they got hollowed out by a private equity firm 20 years ago lol

I'm gonna watch a basketball game tonight and probably drink a beer

The Chiller

you have a really sexy way of making me feel like the dumbest boy who ever lived

reaching for a 3-ring binder next to my desk with “WOMEN WHO ARE NICE TO ME” written along the spine

I was gonna post what I thought was a humorous photo of me kind of looking down and grinning with “me reading your posts” but then I got worried someone would say it was one of those “what she sees” meme jokes and that’s nasty and not what I was going for at all

Whose bell keeps tolling? Is that for thee?

The Grits Kissers

This is about there being a new Gears Of War game

Civil War Reenactor Reminded This Not His Personal Fife Recital https://theonion.com/civil-war-reenactor-reminded-this-not-his-personal-fife-recital/

I’m always trying to do bivariate choropleth maps but people are too dumb to read them

some thoughts on HR: I’ve only worked one place where I was well-connected enough to know both what was actually going on and what the rumor mill was saying, so I don’t know if this is common, but I suspect it is.

this could but us but you playing

Infinite morning hack

I love all pizzas I love all fast food chains I love all weird regional food You cannot use food to divide me against my fellow humans. All eaters are brothers.

Looking at some death data since I can do whatever I want today at work and no one can boss me around and people in the US die more often on Friday than other days of the week Sunday has the fewest deaths

oh hell yeah and my boss called out sick?? 😛

emerging from a strange fugue into another, stranger fugue

Everyone adores the way the town flower closes its petals over its little face at dusk. Why does a stupid flower get so much attention? I also cower from the night. Am I similarly lauded? No. Just the opposite, in fact.

would also settle for this

the dream is to be considered a threat to a powerful and secretive organization who kidnaps you off the streets, confines you to a room, and keeps you under sedation for days or weeks or even longer

do you guys think the number of the beast was 616 or 666?

I long to buy you The Device

final plug this week for the new album: if you have 40ish minutes of listening time today check out "surfent l'espace profund" on Bandcamp and streaming (except Spotify) particledogs.bandcamp.com/album/surfen...

I just remembered the person at work who I find most annoying is out all of this upcoming week 😇

what if we had fun online, and maybe made some friends along the way too ?

I'm practicing a song I can sing for you guys

Many of you

here's my review of modern american society: suboptimal

I hold all of my mutuals to a high standard [except for the people I'm only following because I think they're nuts and might try to do something bad to me if I ever unfollow or stop interacting with them]

I went out for a little excursion, and while I'm obviously a poorly socialized, bitter loser, I cannot understand how anyone goes out in public on a spring/summer weekend without getting pissed off. I'm answering my own question here, I know

aside from the rest, it's a little funny to have a 100% disability rating and run for US Senate

falling in love with a woman named Bernice Python

“why didn’t they just kill that guy,” the overarching mystery of the entire 21st century

sometimes you follow a guy on social media just a courtesy to make it clear you're not trying perv on his wife, who you also follow, but then it turns out that guy wants you to have sex with his wife

posting yourself rabid and frying your brain with outrage does not make you a martyr btw. it makes you someone who was driven Mad by the Post. which is an embarrassing fate, actually

A gleaming Donald Trump hits "the Blanka pose" during a TV interview. Electricity pops and sizzles visibly around his heaving form as he prepares to complain about the way he is talked about on television.

love a good sandwich. a good sandwich has the power to turn ur whole day around

I think I could fall in love with a computer version of you

that's my boy Cornbread Crumble

I'm mad once again that I can't legally do a bunch of drugs every now and then even though I'm very responsible and don't cause problems ever

just know that if you use "iced coffee" and "cold brew" interchangeably then I do not respect you

shit's got me feeling like the Rosedale, Alberta humanoids

telling cop about my mandate from heaven

yeah, so basically all this was preordained