I feel sick about how things in the world and my life are so I’m just gonna go to bed and hope I feel different in the morning

doing more ghost research in prep for my Christmas ghost story

"he instructed his wife to give the monk the drink in his absence. Instead of doing this, she secretly urinated in the monk's bowl, added sugar cane juice to it and gave it to the monk." nastyy

Lol

do you think I could move to a small town in the UK and open some shitty restaurant based on me being a regular American Joe?

if bluesky labelled my account 'rude' I would feel sick to my fuckin stomach

okay so tonight do you want to irresponsibly speculate on who committed the 1985 White House Farm Murders in the UK or irresponsibly speculate on who committed the 1981 Keddie Murders in California?

sorry, babe. I have a strict, longstanding no-following-people-with-Joanna-Newsom-avatars policy

there are certain beliefs I have about some actions that should be legal

she's sending you selfies with her boyfriend's bass guitar in background

drinking some coffee hbu

oh my fuck just block them we don't need 300 quote tweets god damn

????????

finally busting out the humidifier

insanely good thing to say when you enter a room

it’s perfectly legal for me to picture us taking a shower together

pretty girl DMs me to ask how my week was but my life is so boring and bad that thinking about for even a fraction of a second is depressing enough that I can’t muster a response

I'm totally immune to Christmas music. I've been listening to that stuff for 40 years and could hardly tell you anything about it. zero opinions, zero emotions. rolls right off me

if you're going to divide your temple into 3 halls, my recommendations are: 1. the Ulam (Antechamber); 2. the Kodesh or Heichal (Inner Sanctuary); and 3. the Kodesh Hakedoshim, the Holy of Holies. #justmytwocents

Thank God It's Viernes! #12 (December 12, 2025) #TGIV we return to Spain for this one www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdX5...

hard drive full of 4k videos of women drying their hands after washing them

okay I'll have a bite.. but this pie better be rustic as hell

it kinda sucks that other cars' headlights are now designed to be weapons to destroy your retinas and kill you

you can eat the wax rind on that gouda and no one can stop you if you live alone

dear god please let my enemies feel unbearable pain tonight

there's only gonna be 273 hits. me hitting you and you hitting all of the 272 steps leading to Batu Caves in Malaysia

if we were in love do you think it would be forbidden love or just regular boring love?

Buy Jello Biafra's car www.hemmings.com/auction/1989...

no dice

y’all mind if I gaze upon the Blue Ridge Mountains this dreary December afternoon?

maybe something will hit me really hard right in the ribs when I walk out of the office today

oh good it looks like y’all found another column in a bullshit publication to get mad about

I got some people who want to be sweet and nice to you. Not here. Just around the corner.

If anyone else thinks the glass edge effect on the lock screen clock looks like shit you can change it back to solid

I’m writing so much sql that it would blow your mind

They should come out with an improved version of something

how many sausages are you eating this weekend? #sausageweekend

how many days do you have to be out before you put up an out-of-office message?

good morning 🌞

booting up FeastFinder

i stand by this statement every year

you're a valued member of my bsky family

I think someone just died in a car accident across the street from me

if you’re mad at someone your profile pic should show up spiky

My wife divorced me for a summer sausage glued on a Mr. Potato Head

what if we were sharing a big bowl of popcorn... no, bigger 😳

fuck I just remembered I was gonna make a Leiber Monday joke last week

when I'm eating yummy food and going "mm mmM MMM!" that's the real me