group chat hella upset with me cuz i livestream myself reading passages of the novel Memory Police by Yoko Ogawa in the David Lynch voice every night again

everything is real

The Simpsons is a good tv show. it’s a chili dog style kind of tv show ok? but it’s also a very burger style tv show as well. where as the tv show Family Guy is a very burger style show, but not a chili dog style show. does that makes sense?

i like videogames where you suck people off and get their powers through a funny hat

nobody ever sat me down and explained the frogs and the bees. i am rudderless in this world

what the fuck? what the what the fuck? fuckin’? what? what the the the what? ..

cashier said ‘happy new year’ to me, but this is the first i’m hearing of it. what is that? somebody’s birthday or whatever?

2013 is about love. Dont kiss people 'ironically' this year. Look at them in the eyes and say "This is real" then press your lips into them.

started using this app last year having known nobody on it. made a lot of cool new friends. a lot of great artists, musicians, and people i can even make stuff with. just some of the kindest people, man. good night, good morning, and thank you for being my friend :)

KingFan14: computer! i am awake! show me pictures of Elvis Presley! COMPUTER: i mean, sure, but why? KF14: hurry up, goddamnit it COMP: can’t find any GOOD pictures of Elvis, so i stole some and generated my own, i guess. idfk KF14: that’s creepy and unethical COMP: oh so you’re not a REAL fan?

a 5 dollar shake? they don’t put long in it or nothin’?

long island milk tea

you heard about Fight Club? Fight Club totally sucks and i hate it. not suppose to talk about Fight Club but we’re all gonna go to Fight Club tonight. you wanna go friggin’ Fight Club is gonna SUCK, dude. oh btw, it’s a pay to enter. six bucks per person or 2 for 10. i get, like, commission

so long and thanks for all the milk

fascinating

KING BABY

several of my friends are already living in the new year right now. they’ve already attributed a date and time for my death, which is concerning but also kind of a relief tbh. no pain. no suffering. but anyway, are we gonna kiss or what?

3-on-3 basketball. shirts vs draculas

Good morning chat I love you

i am beautiful but also afraid and me too

we’re all somebody but holy shit are you!

the human brain is like a heart for inside of your head. a mattress moved into the living room of the skull, in place of a sofa. you does not belong here but i will use you regardless. there’s wickedness. egad. you are not the centerpiece of my soul but the ottoman where it sprawls it’s leg. spiders

I'm sorry I don't have any long milk posts. I consider it a relative of "various bodily function" post, which I leave to the experts

lmaooo they said your milk short af, dude

long milk. are the protein chains girthier? is it a milk that can only be synthesized through an arduous and lengthy process? no. long milk comes from a long elk and brother, you don't want to know why that elk is long. yellow yoda you must hit, the good shit it is

long milk is in for 2026

I keep a flask of long milk in my coat pocket for the woes of the day

they dunkin u like a cookie in long milk chat rn

the days are short but the milks is long

I scream whenever I like a post

something fun to do is you can scream

airport said i can fly the airplanes but it’s landing the motherfuckers i struggle with

i got that tool on me, baby, call me Tommy Pickles

let’s make dumb ass burgers

heaven gained a dumb guy idiot today good morning, goose. i love you forever

Why is it the roof of my mouth and not the ceiling of my mouth

shopping list of kings I made the other day

my body shakes 24/7. which isn’t ideal really. warrants a level of concern if all of your extremities move around aimlessly. today however — my body hasn’t been shaking? which is even more concerning. it’s like driving a car that makes a lot noise, but it’s been real quiet these last few hours

get ready for year of the pile #2023

mark your calamnders or whatever

loving you is like laundry, baby, help me

This is an example of why AI is bad

🔫🐉 🏹🦕 🍕🐢 🖼️🎨🖌️🐸 🗡️🦖🔪🐊 📺🕹️🦎🪀🐍

That thing where Donkey Kong sticks his arms out and spins around to fly in Super Smash Bros happened to me in real life

damnburger helper

why my pizza look haunted?