Vaudeville NBA player who wears a ruff on court

Fell news from the commons, my liege, they are reporting that their pussy was indeed smote by a pimp from the eastern reaches

I think if I lost an eye I'd start doing a bit where I'd be like "I've seen enough" and then dramatically rip the fake eye out and launch it

Conducting some experimental fashion research this morning

Ghosts is like horses. Skittish but capable of incredible speeds when whipped by a short man in jovial attire

Baleful apparition who appears at the foot of your bed to show you sleight of hand card tricks and closeup magic

Tricking one hundred short men

Wow wow wow baby this is that fine Corinthian smegma

Bro that moon is on some brazy brightness tonight. Unsettlingly bright.

Sensational emoji. Also shout out to the android emoji mashup feature for this nonsense it generated that is STILL killing me every time I think of it

Mehrunes Dagon is real he runs a jetski rental in Bradford

the ghost of shinzo abe is haunting me “sekksu shite kudasai” he wails over and over while doing this hand gesture 👉👌 what does he want from me

Cryptid

Mamdani's an Arsenal fan? New York I am so sorry. Box off the whole state. Irredeemable failure of a people to allow an Arsenal fan into public office (see: Starmer, Kier for further evidence)

Custard: The Thinking Man's Beverage

Necromancers will say "If I bade them not to rise and do my bidding, someone else would surely do so". Just leave the cadavers alone mate

Swallowed 1000 horses 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎

Horny for ad space this morning.

Oh. Em. Gee babe! Buy my ad space! If you're bad I've got space for your logo. Let me hold some of that marketing budget babe.

Unmuting the Teams call to ask if we're sure it's not pronounced "morketing"

Woah babe, check it out! They're boring into his skull!

Time to guzzle!

Weeaboo Waylon Jennings be like Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be Yokais

Gotta say I'm enjoying Veilgaurd so far. Dwarf warrior SUCKED so rerolled a trusty Quarian Mage and I'm back to blasting fools. They're trying to make me like Solas and it WILL NOT WORK.

While we're doing TV takes etc. Breaking Bad was never good. Watching it is a similar sensation to how I imagine eating a phone book would be like.

Wish he played the cello then we could call him ZoZo Ma

I need an elf mage! Who read her bible!

Reminder to all Dragon Age Solas Enjoyers: Those plates in your room are MOULDING and the scented candles are NOT covering the stench!

Veilgaurd is on gamepass now which feels like a perfect excuse to finally do the Dwarf Warrior run. Specifically angling it towards "magic doesn't even real" from a roleplay perspective and beating the snot out of that bald fraud from the 3rd one

RuPaul's RuCoin, it's on the block chain

Shitting out a poo big dumps style

Sending some junk email

In today's fast paced world it's important to take a second to remember to not piss on your own shoes.

explaining the two-year gap in my resume by saying "i got really into textures for awhile"

Neo Urban Techniques For The Uncle Inside You

Babe did you read the Konica Minolta EU newsletter this morning? Babe?

Chat, the chimp is ripping me now

Spanish anime fans be like dande esta la ghibliotecha

Oi how the FUCK did i manage to get CRAMP while SLEEPING??? Calf fucking EXPLODED mid snooze had to stretch that hoe out like I was in the FINALS that shit pulled me out of a DEAD SLEEP. Dog I think it might be JOEVER for me for real this time. Can still feel it for fucks sake

Brandish your ancient blade at me again, cur, and I shall cleave ye twainward with this cursed broadaxe mine

Knock knock bitch it's the federal dick inspector now make with the fiveskin

I need a large turkish man to make my kebab "extra spicy just for you" right now

That game sucked a whole heap of booty

A lot of the time we feel like a possession oriented team who just hate being on the ball smh

Glimt should not be down 0-1 right now this is #unjust

I throw my chudler in the air sometimes Saying chudler You're a chud toddler

Need 400 bepsi