Resident Alien seems pretty good

Why doesn't superman just start a business? Is he stupid??

happy 'you dont act like my 7 year old nephew or rainman' month

You're telling me giancarlo esposito is playing a shady criminal who runs his org like a business? And he showcases his intelligence at his underlings and rivals? And he's gay, possibly? Wait a minute how do you come up with this stuff

"Euro" 🤢 "Gamer" 🤮

twilight gives pinkie her estrogen shot

Bruh 💀

Good news babe I've found a way to optimize your clit using AI

[jerking off for the first time] "oooh, so THATS what it does. crazy."

it's all overwhelming me.. oak and elming me...

Did they get hawk tuah girl to sing the national anthem yet or did i dream that

i'm developing an ai translator that deciphers what your butt is saying to you when you fart

anyway here's some little guys from my last kiln load. :3

Something something bunghole tonguehole idk

my friend got mad at me cause i said she was the vanilla ice of jacking off

Sam altman normie looking ass not an alt bone in his entire body

*scratches head with gun.* perhaps a sly old slender foxy fox *puts blunt into gun* look dude the gun thinks he's people

*Hits blunt* do you think i'm more of a meow kitty cat or an arf arf puppy dog? *pulls out gun* or perhaps a hoppy floppy bunny rabbit

Used to be we waxed poetic now we just wax pussies and bungholes

telling people my phone number is seven billion eight hundred and fifty three million three hundred and nine thousand four hundred and twenty six

One cool thing about life is that you can eat tinned fish really whenever you want 7am??? Fish time baby

this man has ai watching him through a camera to make sure he drinks enough water.

It's time for overtime playoff hockey which calls for an iconic Jon Bois tweet

why is she like this??

this is so important

your honor, it's my brain that you should be yelling at. i just take orders from it. the rest of my body should be disentangled from it and it's mischievous ways.

hey baby those are some badass boobies. some terrific tatas. hey you got some magnificent melons baby. some real heavenly honkers right there. hey baby you got s

She went milk crazy again after just 4 minutes...

With the release of The Mandalorian and Grogu, we are going to see a big uptick in adoptions. As someone who works in Grogu rescue, I will remind you: when you adopt a Baby Yoda, you are committing to its 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘯. Grogus can live up to 900 years. They can also move shit around your apartment.

"a rolling stone gathers no moss" ok and why don't you want moss? must everything be lifeless and without nutrients or substance? can there be no beauty and joy in the capacity for nature to grow and eke out an existence wherever it possibly can? have you no love in your heart?

its so hot you could boil an egg in my asshole

"Enemies to lovers" "shadow daddy" "orphan hero" "intergenerational trauma" shut up shut up shut up I want fantasy books about dwarves getting rip shit on mead-soaked mushrooms and blowing up trolls with hwachas and having it be an allegory for the Hussite Wars

I mean there is that story about John and Paul, yeah

Halliburton CEO Fuck a Fan Contest

go down to the beach and watch the crabs. observe their ways. listen to their click clackers clicking and clacking. the crabs have much to teach us.

had no idea wtf doogie howser was and googled it and if a damn doctor walked in and he was a child I'd beat his ass

The bugs in my flesh make me submissive and breedable

A "great" dane? Preposterous

mirror mirror on the wall why's my thigh stuck to my balls

An image will do just fine for me

I'm a sweetheart with cutie characteristics

but you you fuck one goat and

(extreme Orson Welles voice) AHHHHHHHHHH THE SPORTS

I deserve to be gently fed grapes and wafted with a palm frond fan and I don't even like grapes or wind

u can still be gangsta even if u cry every day. u can be gangsta & have a tender heart

[stargazing] THEM: which constellation is your favorite ME: probably the piss bucket THEM: what ME: y’know, the big pisser THEM: DIPPER?? ME: it’s not for me but i don’t kink shame

I did not make this. I wish I had made it