they should do a season of Stargate set in Margate

egg

accidentally getting mace confused with WD40 when I get robbed, allowing the guy to give police the slip

anyone got a gmail invite?

this trump fella fucking sucks. what a piece of shit

Daniel Bin Day Lewis

wife: what shall we watch tonight? Me:

Goof: balled

she's back! Flora is back!!

fun fact: you don't have to read my posts, and I'm sorry

Vidya Game Fact: Vamp from the Metal Gear series wasn't called 'vamp' because he is a vampire, but because his mum named him after her favourite thing: lamp, but she had a cold at the time

I notice I have appeared on the jumbotron, I crack a dumb smile and wave, failing to see the subtitle 'KillCam'

don't use AI! If you use AI you are a thick dunce! It is a foul technology! The people who are pushing it are cretins! The environmental impact is Not Great! All applications of AI are Dubious and Unnecessary! If all of those points do not phase you then go eat a dog egg.

I played the Metroid Prime 4 demo and it’s worrying. Samus has a cold and frequently sneezes all over the inside of her helmet. There’s no way to clean it so you have to wait for the snot to drip off the glass. I hope she isn’t sick for the whole game.

don't do this!

The NYT considers this a proper noun since it’s a reference to Sir Edmund Bonk, the Victorian-era scientist who invented fucking

poo attracts flies but clue attracts spies

passed this on the way home. Someone was stuck in the machine but I chose to ignore it

Today is my birthday. I am now the same age that Christ was when He released His second homemade alt-rock album. You can listen and buy it now on bandcamp, or it'll be on your artist exploitation service of choice within the next few hours! Organ Ghost | James Gameboy share.google/daoALzYI0bUX...

hour two into me sitting on the toilet on my phone. Wife is banging on the door as we have guests over. "Come back with a warrant" I yell

The adventures of Cum Sawyer

Eating a sundae with a long spoon is the height of decadence. The longer the spoon the more decadent it is. Ideally you shouldn't even be in the same room as the sundae

Silent Hill PT but the PT Stands for Prawn Toast

walking at pace down the aisle at my wedding to the Crash Bandicoot 1 intro track

working on a really good AI Pacino joke, something around the term Promptfather or Scarface (but like he has extra fingers or something)

fuck off! I bet it would work if I put some dumb US shit like Olive garden

hob bope

Tonight I told someone off for saying they loosed a longbow with no arrow. Got backed up by a few people saying not to do that due to Physics.

this is my gang

we burned it all

I hate AI. A local cleaning business posted this. What the fuck is it. Does she smell? Why do the stink lines come off her nose? Just horrible. I'll kill you.

dog jail

Do you think Jesus got to choose what type of wine he turned water into or would it be like "sorry lads, I know we're having fish but I can only make cab sav today"

p

Every game is the same now. i have three games downloaded to my playstation and they are God of war, final fantasy 7, new one but the first part of it, and ghost of tsushima, and they all have the same skill trees and stuff.

this is what you see before you die, if you are,, a snack

Fuck em got U.

New awareness campaign

I'm going back in time to tell my past self that the 3 disc game I bought in 1997 for £30 will cost £70 per disc 30 years later. But also you're just renting the game lol

Friend: Are you growing your hair out? Me: Honestly I have no idea. I never thought I'd live this long

new character just dropped

get this; halloweed 🎃

I love it when life hacks are all 'if you're lost in the woods you can use Pringles to start a fire'. Get your act together.

coming up with a new superhero called Beef Blade. I've only got the name so far

things are always sending or giving these days. I'm going to start staying stuff like 'it's having'

Frankenstein is in cinemas? Awful. He should be in prison!

I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnnnnnnnnng john silver's gift card

just my opinion but the Godfather films wouldn't have been as successful if instead of following the Corleone family they were called the Dumpkins

If your politics are right wing there is a 60% chance that your favourite song is Happy Birthday

The US version of taskmaster looks shit. Won't watch it.