ahh what, we reduced the game by 70%? wow! anyway, it now costs like four bucks or whatever american money works out as. Quick now! store.steampowered.com/app/3248540/...

going through a midlife crisis. What should I call Eggs Benedict from now on? - Eggs benny - Eggy B's - Beggs

every now and then I'll tag something with #bitcoin #ai and then block all the nasty little freak accounts that repost it. Like putting down sugar and peeing on the ants that come get it

did you hear about the doctor who was part of a breast milk smuggling ring? He's gone into wetnurse protection.

Some amazing gay history. Listen up kids.

asking if I can suck the prison guard's toes as my last meal

This was the OG image I replied to. APOLOGIES.

My one wish is that elmo skum randomly teleports one foot to the left, ideally while standing next to a wall or a fart machine or something

I love my half piranha half cat, and also my ever suffering wife

heck yeah!! A pint of beer, for my mouth.. mmM

Just bid on AND WON a real 1800's French impressionist painting by Claude Marny! #Bitcoin

ALL films could be improved if, in the pivotal moment, or during a beat in the middle of combat/dramatic monologue the 'When Dinosaurs Ruled The Earth' banner falls between the main characters and the antagonist

"bidet sprayed my balls so hard i got winded and forgot to wipe" is such a better opener than "to be or not to be", plus it's based on real life

hiring chuckle brother lookalikes to fake beat me up outside the club but when they arrive I'm already getting my ass beat by the real ones

Q tips? Uhhhh stand behind the person in front of you

Hal, open the pod bay doors "... certainly, let me get that for you" *Lights dim for a second, vending machine dispenses a soft drink, pod bay doors stay shut. In the distance, a toilet flushes*

Treebeard was a very commanding character, which makes him an ENT-J

I'll only speed run Net Yaroze games.

AITA here??! I find myself situated slightly further back from the perineum.

waterboard me with a Yopp™ Yogurt®

XD RAWR LOL ^_^

you, a cretin: ohhhh duuhhh, did you know there is an arrow in the FedEx logo me, minding my own business: did you know there is an.. annoyed,in... My brain .??

i have a new favourite band

I just let lose my first commissioned satchel into the wild. Good luck!

dating apps should show you your matches hit points and elemental weaknesses

no

frogs were the original ones to "log on". food for thought.

i would have simply parried

🎶 Stay away from me 🎶 American wigeon 🎶 Mama, let me beeeee

I hate that this article is also written by AI. "First thing, second thing, third thing. M-dash. A small summary!"

don't,

i made this image back when twitter was good, now I keep seeing it appear on different platforms. My gift to the world.

the tagline for Expedition 33 should have been "paint me like one of your french girls"

do you think Bob('s your uncle) knew Uncle Tom Cobley?

Is your AI solution not giving you the results you want? Try this simple fix: DO YOUR FUCKING JOB OR HIRE SOMEONE WHO CAN

genuinely my favourite parking spot in Bristol

the best part about Linked In is the messages have canned responses so I can be professional

The lights stay ON during sex. but nobody's home

love how americans call driving a manual gear car 'driving stick'. absolutely basic stuff. Automatic car propaganda for sure

A fun thing to do is ask tradesmen if they're scared of snakes before they come into your house. You don't even have to have a snake! You can just ask!

Imagine trying to explain this image and the context around it to like Henry VIII

Have a computer click into this photo to see how my cat feels about your attitude right now. Whooop'''s!

Persona 3 is filling the gap that the Uniqlock left

bringing back toe rings. making a whole situation at a job interview

This man used AI to learn how to tie his shoes, he is now dead.

oh god my baby imprinted on an anime figurine I brought to the hospital to play with while my wife gave birth. she's furious