Sometimes I explode out of my clothes

AMERICAN MALES

Car accidents are really terrible and it’s kinda fucked up how rescue crews go out of their way to put on a roadside light extravaganza with flares and special ribbon that gets put around the whole thing. Like throwing a road side birthday party for some decapitated dude. Absolutely shameful

I hope she’s ready to tame a leopard

Would you still love me if tofu ruined my life?

I went vegan for 4 days and my shit has never smelled worse. Does it balance out eventually or am I gonna have to go back to eating garbage so my dookies go back to normal. Asking for a friend named me I’m the friend this is terrible

Men need to stop telling women not to litter

inside of me there are three wolves. i'm a t shirt

inside of me there are two wolves. that's called yiffing baybeeeeeeeee

Bushido Blade is the best fighting game of all time

Inside of me are two wolves and one of them is farting

Everyone is making me feel loved and seen today and I’m very grateful for the people who have allowed me into their lives

I drank so much coffee you guys like fuck bro fuck. Shit dude this was a lot of coffee. I drank so much, dawg. Unreal

I saw this in a window I walked past today. #VHS #FilmSky

Fancy stickers for fancy occasions. Like staying in an feeling real sad. Available now from me.

You know, I've been around plenty of people intoxicated or in a mental health crisis and I've never once had the thought "I should take a picture of them to go on the internet"

I lost my Patreon for the time being. This obviously is a massive blow. I will try to resolve Patreon’s issues with my ASMR account, but I think this is the beginning of the end for using Patreon as a VTuber

Anyway a great way to radicalize people is for them to realize that you just abandoned their chance at being able to access and afford health care because you didn’t like waiting in line at the airport.

Dog the Bounty Hunter looks like the Party and Player final boss

Really hate the late stage WCW ass energy Democrats bring to the table

Democratic senators voted to make sure that there was more money for ICE to harass your community

She’s such a dream

My favorite part of Black Phone 2 was when Black Phone and Mecha Black Phone finally battle

Help the Bailey Bangtan get medical treatment.

dont be jealous that i get to cuddle and smooch @melibean.bsky.social today okay

Brain back to normal

jigsaw would've loved yugioh

Bad brain day

Guys, I think we should all get together and boycott rapid response bioclean and the cops. Who's with me?

Hey, PDX/ southwestern WA folks— this will sound silly, but for the love of god if there is a tornado, do not stay and look at it. Most houses in the PNW don’t have basements. Go to somewhere interior, like a bathroom or closet, and shelter in place like it’s an earthquake.

Lego Bush did Lego 9/11

Gonna start making smut again

Pokémon games weren’t meant to be 3D, unless they were either like Stadium (mini games, challenges, and fighting your friends on the TV) or Colosseum (side game with a limited main roster, and fighting your friends on the TV)

Non Dairy Glen Ross

That was the worst hour of television I’ve sat through as an adult and I understand Hank Hill on a spiritual level right now

Watching Hazbin Hotel for the first time and I gotta say I really fucking hate this shit

Introverts can be rude sometimes, actually

Oh no! The Cum Monster is real and he’s running right at us!

The modern-day equivalent of eating ortolan is Faygo Candy Apple soda. This stuff is otherworldly delicious and feels like you've sinned against the beauty of nature.

Person who call James Bond zero dubs seven

Waiting to see if Bluesky bans people for being mean about Dick Cheney

trans fems who have not had electrolysis or laser: how often do you shave your face? if its everyday how on earth do you have the mental and physical fortitude to do it every single day? i can usually go like...two days? ish?

Happy #Godzilla Day! this is my favorite Godzilla figure, my Godzilla 98 Koosh Kin.

My house smells like death because of the rats rotting in the walls.

If you’re celebrating Godzilla Day without a Godzilla (1998) Taco Bell car cup holder you’re doing it wrong.

Vogue swallowing up & defanging Teen Vogue by nuking its political coverage + writers is a Bari Weiss-esque extinction-level event. Not looking forward to fungible 1% porn, bimbo tips & lowkey tradwife grooming in the form of 'how to land a man' quizzes 😶 www.vogue.com/article/teen...

Souther people will say shit like “Slap that Sammy Jack! Clap the release to boom grab it!” And someone else will say “You’ll god damn right, right there!”

theres gonna be people out there who aren't on SNAP and think they're somehow taking advantage of all the deals being offered SNAP recipients without realizing that no one should have to prove they need food or not to get some, there's no game to win here, just life and death.