i know my one bro is going through it because i caught him oggling an 8 in the calculator app yesterday

Discarding tweets that are making me aroused. It’s not the time

I just applied to a job and the recruiter rolled my resume up into a joint and said she was smoking "unemployed person pack"

playing guitar

having another major traumatic event just to see if they even matter at this point or what

when i get no favs it's because i'm a visionary too abrasive for algorithms living my truth

ok guys my dad says no more cussing and no more writing free verse poetry about growing up with a broken home sorry

no one understands me or my high concept "swag ronin" bit

none of you guys would ever even understand me in a million years

hey jared, sorry about my outburst in the meeting today. I am learning to be normal around women still. I don't want to place blame. But I think we know why deb was out of line. Also I got an email saying "my email signature was not work appropriate"? jess (she/they) the swag ronin

going to the store soon, probably tomorrow -the swag ronin

hey guys what's up just wondering if you can see my new signature it should be on all my posts -the swag ronin

the swag council has decided to terminate my membership, their numbers grow few, rumors abound that "swag" is dying, but despite being thrown out. I still pledge my allegiance to swag. I just have no lord. A swag ronin.

me and my woke friends are separate from amerikkkan society, we exist outside of it, because we read marx

talking is mostly lies to me, stop it, don't need those words

i do not hang out with people to talk

do you want to come over and sit in silence and listen to records and then like after the records pause for a second and say like that was good or that was bad and then pick a new record, but not too much deliberating

huge loser nerd voice: I thought maybe we could hit my water pipe, for tobacco and listen to alternative music

the homie most mournful

i really have been feeling the "nazi empire" vibe recently in ways that aren't like funny or distant

the ATF got me in an elaborate sting operation (they posted "rt if you have an unregistered firearm" and I rt'ed)

everything that's worth saying now gets you a door knock

alright guys time to do proletarian revolution. who wants to be illiterate peasants 1 through 300,000 you're all gonna be gunned down and it will be hard to say if your death meant anything or not but it happened and it feels like bearing witness is important, also i'll be lenin

oh good, current events

i remember when the towers fell, and i watched it on netflix, back when you could mail the dvds

i'm watching battlestar galactica via the mail netflix stuff

oh did you get that on tivo? let's rewind that

not right bro. my shows are on!

gotta have my mtv

if i could do anything it would be watch tv

i love watching tv

i mostly do stuff like go to the store. or watch tv! maybe on the weekends i go on a walk

there are too many horrors to keep track of

ordering the deceleration of independence on uber eats

it honestly is so funny to me how fucked up i can be and still play guitar pretty well, i use it to get away with drunk driving, i play guitar for the cops and they're like ok go ahead and tear through this school zone, and i say thanks, no survivors

if u care about shit and you suck at it you should just give up so you can look cool and mysterious

it would be so funny to play like good acoustic guitar in just some random shitty apartment and be like a total dirtbag piece of shit and like for some reason you're just like pretty good at guitar and like it's kind of hard to explain in some ways, funny to me

i know his name is not "grouch"

i know his name is not "grouch"

guys i meant groucho marx

guys i meant groucho marx

disassociating so hard that i feel like a grouch marx mask floating around with just the nose and the glasses

just a second i have to listen to myself playing guitar again and get mad at any perceived imperfections

at my last job there was a load screen requirement and i didn't do any of it and just put a 3 second timer on a gif

my asshole poetry professor took off a bunch of points because all my poems start with "babe"

babe you remind me of the blue man group. Because i always thought i would fit in, if they opened up, and let me into their group. but you never opened up. to me. i'm like a blue man without a group. thank you. this one is untitled but it's also distinct from the arrested development bit

babe wake up jess is doing slam poetry

babe it was like a sunrise when i met you, because you were pretty babe, and then it was like sunset because i saw you go, and then it was cold. babe, you always steal the blanket, even when you're gone, because you took the blanket. Thank you. that one was called "winter of my heart"

babe i gave you the medal of honor of my heart and you gave me a purple heart, because you wounded me babe. thank you. that poem was called "love is a battlefield"

i’m like if a girl was a land mine