guys if u ever feel really cynical about people remember we are all too dumb to be cynical like that

(after no fav post) humanity is nothing but a bunch of animals capable of dreaming the unattainabley beautiful while we wallow in the muck away from it

my 3 cup moka pot is the devil

ughhhhhhhhhhh

guys my gmail g chat status seems like a passive aggressive dig at my ex but it's actually just song lyrics it's song lyrics ok

bored ❗

guys add me on gmail g chat

bored ❗

i am listening to elliott smith but might listen to something else soon like and share tell your mom tell your friends tell your kids

Your twenties are all about developing such a rigorous and convoluted hair routine that it doesn’t look good on any day. Your thirties are about never ever washing it and looking fantastic all the time

say what you will about bluesky but there's no denying it is the premiere alternative to an already niche social media site

reading my own book on the subway and nodding so everyone knows i agree with it

i will say knowing magic and spells and having arcane knowledge seems cool but once you become a real wizard you learn the real magic is empathy

as a dweeb wizard i only know spells like repair glasses and unwedgie underwear

"bro has a tome lol everyone look at bro. where are u going bro? the arcane tower lmfao good luck with ur life u dweeb wizard." this is just a glance into how hard my life is as a dweeb wizard

also i will have a physical version of my book soon probably and that's pretty exciting i get the test copy today

if you unfollow me or block me you actually go to hell it says so in every major religion even the ones without hell have a special hell for you for doing that

guys read my book it will probably make u feel bad jessiecool.itch.io/thanks-god

they call it the nintendo switch because you intend to play it but you switch it off instead

jess 1231am does it ever get better bros jess 1233am all i know is sadness jess 1240am they should lowkey call eggs on toast "goated on goated" because it is all so good

ok honestly fuck even giving them this much air and like thought

i hate these fuckers!!!!!!!! yuppie assholes!!!!!!!!!!! go to hell!!!!!!!!!!!

guys im crashing out

guys im crashing out

siri play limp bizkit break shit and siri, engage red smart lights.

told someone that if they still associate with this shitty group of people that i think way less of them and they changed the subject really fast my life is a movie filled with cowards and losers no offense

if u make a good enough post on here the burning sensation in ur psyche stops and u become a functional human it happened to me

rapper who can't stop rapping about eggs on toast even though they have moved on from eggs on toast because of the commercial demand for eggs on toast based rap

while u all were out partying i studied staying at home and sleeping weird hours

i feel closest to my friends when we are spending $15 together

i asked bro if i could borrow five dollars but after i said five I really quietly said "thousand" i am going to be rich

just had egg on toast, sorry to flex my life of luxury

i am listening to punk rock music and leading an alternative lifestyle

i am doing shoegaze stuff if it matters if anything matters on this little fucking blue dot we call "earth" siri pull up that picture where luigi has a big butt on the beach

posting boring and dry life updates out of a sort of open contempt for this platform

i am listening to elliott smith

[at the watercooler] quite excited for [everyone leaves] spyro four. hopes high, expectations low. spyro 2 was a formative game for me. didn’t fw the remake mostly bcos the art direction was kinda mid imo. spyro is a cool dragon, i’m excited to see it get more time in the spotlight [tumbleweed nods]

sexual freaks are ruining the good name of sexual freaks

unread message from mom notif for a while better check that out *ding* oh wow uber has a special offer! "bad girl meal for cool ass bad girls who don't give a fuck" oh hey that's me, that's for me, i better check that one first actually just in case

whenever someone comes into my home i immediately show them my coolest possessions to assert financial and aesthetic dominance

i don't believe in anything but cold hard cash and brother im broke as shit, there is no god

for personal reasons i will be acting normal

it's like they say in spain, my casa is your casa bro

welcome to my abode bro this is where i sleep. and this is where i sit. sorry there's only one chair so we'll have to take turns sitting

Oh so i guess we're just assuming i believe everything i put in my manifesto?

ngl i saw it was really close in the 4th quarter and i still booted up age of empires sorry, go knicks

sometimes I don't complain about stuff even though I totally could

guys, respectfully, wazzuuup

i made egg on toast a little bit ago (callback joke)

i'm so tired of playing the guitar i just got, oh well time to sit down and look at it every now and then while i imagine having the energy to play it