do you have a lighter you ask, i hesitate, what's wrong? well. I hand you my lighter. there's a wad of hemp wick around it. "sorry it's so sticky" i say, why is it so sticky, "I didn't think it would be that sticky" i say

do you guys know that golfer who smokes cigars, people said i played like him when i was a teen because i tried to hit the ball so hard like he did, john daly was i think his name i don't remember much but the cigars i think he sucked ass

does anyone have a past annoying argument that was productive in no ways they want to rehash

ugh let's roll another one and listen to nirvana guys, i hate this pleasant moment so much

i don't really like super assert femininity or womanhood and it's crazy because it makes it feel like people just assume the trans woman thing is like just an interesting historic fact that has no bearing on the present

i think it's feminist for women to roll and smoke big joints and i'm not just saying that

oh yeah buddy well I may talk a big game but my follow through is awful, it is not good, I am all bluster

i'm like if daria smoked weed and was 31 years old

no babe I just think there are a lot of female guitarists and that's why they're all over my youtube homepage it's not an instrument men really care about, i don't think there's algorithm stuff going on

i just made a new type of ai that's better, it's in my garage and some guy says he's gonna give me a million dollars for it unless?

you know you're posting really good when you make me say "what the fuck dude that's insane bro" and then alt tab for five minutes

you guys ever have the pharmacist apologize to you

im also bored

do u guys fw john wick or emo music

john wick is crazy good for how dogshit it is i gotta admit

don't get mad at me guys but i'm going on a revenge spree through your life completely unprompted and destroying everything you love and then you, even if it kills me. it's like kill bill, or john wick

don't get mad at me guys but i'm egging your houses and putting potatoes in your tailpipes and when you go to remove it the car is gonna cover your face in soot, or maybe blow up if you don't remove it, so remove it

under communism the male loneliness epidemic would be worse and it would be good that it was

men who are kind and gentle are weak and worthless to me just saying it how it is you can't get mad

i don't know if i believe this fully yet but it feels like a smart guy thing to say and be kind of annoying: I think Macintosh plus floral shoppe is actually quite genius in ways we haven't even begun to talk or think about

i hate america because if this country worked i'd be rich af. also you would all still be poor. no offense

pretty proud of this one still :/

she said it's me or the cannabis and I said babe that's my water pipe, for tobacco

it's ok bro some of my friends are also very stupid

it's so funny how you just think like a kind of dumb thing for a few months and then all of a sudden you're only thinking dumb things

superhero mom was kind of like dune but more indie and yet, more blockbuster at the same time

bluesky was good yeah there were a lot of good times: superhero mom saga, yeah, and then there were all the other times

ask me about superhero mom

i'm the creator of superhero mom

I can't delete the entire superhero mom saga but it's flopping so hard, unlike the film which was good, before it got axed, for being too good and communist

I. FUCKING. HATE. BLUE. SKY. The younger dolls at bsky make me do ketamine and shout go straight girl go

guys they're giving superhero mom the axe because it was too good and also communist, it'll never get out. You'll just have to trust me that i had a full length blockbuster feature film. Also everyone else signed an NDA so they won't talk about it. it was called "superhero mom"

guys make sure to see my full length feature film coming out tomorrow in every major theater after years of work with the disney corporation, it's called "superhero mom"

in my new media franchise we're not afraid to tackle difficult questions like is it wrong to kill? what does heartbreak feel like? and my favorite: can a mom/hero who is "super", still have flaws that are "human"

guys hold up, what's michael pollan's take on this situation

you know someone is smart as hell when they are reading the chart topping book "freakonomics"

people I think I could roll up and smoke in a blunt without even killing them first: michael cera j cole phil mickleson anyone involved in the production of "hamilton" the guy from the apple commercial who was a pc steve jobs when he had cancer any child most infirm people timothy chalamet

have you ever noticed that macho guys smoke bongs like they are sucking penis and trying to squeeze out every last drop my mom says she's taking away internet privileges if i send this one guys

guys hire me to roll your joints and i'll take a kinda long time esp for a professional and they'll all canoe to shit and i'll be like (sharp inhale sound) that one's canoeing to shit

weed smoking gremlin in your basement that just coughs all day and annoys the fuck out of you

guys sorry i'm playing guitar again and showing you

might start doing black nails so people know I'm alternative and homosexual

I'm actually the saddest person on here but also the most swag at the same time like lil peep

the president is awarding me the medal of honor for being really good at times tables in fifth grade and then kind of having a downward trajectory from there and feeling kinda empty

a lot of people talk about how war is hell, but what about a college prep school and you have kinda rich and controlling parents, that's a sort of hell too

ok bro i only cried during battle to make the enemy sympathetic and lull them into a false sense of security, i was also doing that when calling for my mom, i wasn't scared

god grants his loudest weed to his most perplexing white guys

the one thing i miss about 2010 weed smoking was i somehow always got insanely loud weed and being the perplexing white guy with insanely loud weed was fun but now everyone has insanely loud weed

waiter, the cheapest beer you've got! no tip!

rivers cuomo trying to buy an eighth of mids for eighty dollars and getting robbed