timothée chalamet is the kind of name that jk rowling would give to a ski lodge employee from geneva

good morning children of the world. everyone else…good morning i guess

i can tell it’s time for me to go to bed because i’m saving drafts of posts that make me sound sweaty. like more than usual

sometimes life is like drinking lemon-infused water after eating acidic italian ice

it's crazy that you can say "i'm the baddest bitch in history of the world but sometimes i wanna be rearranged atomically" and the crowd goes wild but if you say "i'm less intimidating than the noble forest doe but i need to rearrange someone anatomically like i need air" the crowd...still goes wild

my girl like bir tawil (she's vaguely trapezoidal)

when a khive boy and a qanon girl love each other very much you get a

type a chatter at the funeral complaining about how the eulogy could be completed a lot quicker if the speaker refrained from using the cry tech after every few sentences

mama didn't raise no quitter. mama raised a decent girl. society raised the quitter

it's funny how we say that beer tastes like piss as a denigratory remark even though the toilet kink is universally beloved by all on earth without objection

if you took every red blood cell in your body an laid them out in a straight line, your parents would be very worried about you

hydration hits different when thirst is the vibe

Day 777 I ain’t gonna let glorps work go to waste

Hey friends. time to remind you that the library has physical media that you can borrow for free

it's crazy that putting two different deli meats in a sandwich and then eating the sandwich feels exactly like robbing a bank and then hotwiring the vehicle of a random passerby and randomly firing into the crowd on the sidewalk while you drive away at 55mph all the while the cops are none the wiser

“you’re nothing but dirt to me” ok well you need to eat a little bit of dirt to reinforce the strength of your microbiome so :3

pussy that accentuates your sense of reason

i didn’t know they had liberals in columbo

did my fuckaas yoga and juliet didn’t try to claw at me ONCE! praise da Lord. Amen.

are my posts even impressionable. no not impressionable, nothing on this website is. but rather, impression-able

why isn’t sex penis a real thing. why can’t i have utility vagina sex penis. where are the surgeons and what are they doing with their time that could possibly be better than this

are you dude or are you bro or are you babe or are you sis or are you boo or are you buddy or are you oomf or are you oomfie or are you darling or are you dearest or are you honey or are you sweetie or are you friend or are you bitch or are you faggot or are you girliepop or are you pal or are you--

mom got discharged and is home now. we are ok.

hi are we chilling this morning

ok i lied now i'm actually going to bed goodnight everyone

.

good morning nervousness and trepidation morning

in bed pacing mentally. things are rhyming in cycles of 4. i’ll sleep on it and maybe things’ll change, who knows

Again reboosting for any aid i can get, just to get help to be able to afford a decent amount of groceries or be full, get the things I need, to be able to afford to get basic needs figured out like replacement glasses that aren't risking me going blind every 5 mins they aren't falling off my face!

got some clothes before and after getting lunch and the cis women at checkout at both places i went to were chill and not weird at all so that was cool especially noteworthy considering that at the first place it was just the cashier and me so i was expecting worse ngl

anyway 24k posts sitting in the backseat on a road trip for the day post

every time the highway road gets bumpy or uneven i’m praying for my chest

going on a little trip today

“gender is what’s in your pants” omg so your gender is me 😳🥺 omg that’s so flattering i didn’t know you wanted to be me like that i’m so touched rn

reminding myself that this shit’s all in service of planting trees under whose shade i shall never sit

hi guys it’s saturday

i feel like this is good news for better call saul fans specifically

revenge is a dish best served cold. in particular, the FDA stipulates that revenge be served below 40°F. if revenge reaches an internal temperature above 40°F, it has entered the Temperature Danger Zone (TDZ) and should be disposed of immediately to avoid human consumption or ingestion.

Happy Juneteenth! For this holiday let’s all donate to Black trans liberation and justice! Please share Black trans support orgs and MUTUAL AID requests in replies. Remember to not only donate to people and orgs at the top of replies but also scroll down to support everyone.

going up to a random parisian in the street and when i'm greeted with a "bonjour" i smarmily reply "yes! yes most jaws generally are," at which point i am immediately placed on a plane back to the us and am forbidden from entering french territory ever again

Don't suppose on a day like today I could actually get help, I mean as Black and Transwoman fighting enough as it is and unable to work I sole rely on this to be able to afford to live... Trying to atleast get money to feed myself, tackle bills and exist in a world that doesn't want people like me!

the silmarilion when the silporucpine tree walks in

a partridge in a pear tree

presented again because i've actually been using it more frequently in the past couple weeks and not just during downtime at work and also not just for fiction

imagining various of you in my mind's eye

No more gender! Moving forward, the women’s restroom is for doing lines of cocaine. The men’s restroom is for gay sex, which is now the only sex possible.

you're giving poindexters everywhere a bad name

be less of a thief and more of a queef. stop pilfering and start milfering